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When And How To Quit: Guiding A Child's Decision Making When They Want To Give Up

Updated on January 1, 2015
Age appropriate tasks teach a child to persevere in reaching goals.  Why Quit?  They know that results equal success!
Age appropriate tasks teach a child to persevere in reaching goals. Why Quit? They know that results equal success!

Mom, I Want To Quit Now!

When my grandson expressed his loss of interest in continuing his membership in a club, his mother was at a loss for words. She thought he enjoyed the weekly meetings, and this past summer hadn't he thoroughly enjoyed his camping experience? He couldn't stop talking about how much fun he had with the group. So over a phone call, she asked if we would talk to him about his decision to quit. And, could we just mention to him how important it is to keep commitments?

This discussion brought back memories of how much I loved playing the piano when I was a child, but I hated the weekly lessons. After three years, I was not dedicated to practicing and unmotivated to continue. Looking back, I now wish I would have continued on with my lessons, but what could my parents have done to change my mind? Or, was quitting the right thing to do at the time?

Quotes and Proverbs On The Subject Of Quitting

  • Failure is the path of least persistence. —Unknown

  • All things will come round to him who will but wait. —Longfellow

  • Work hard and give it your best shot; never be a quitter. —Charley Taylor

  • Hitch your wagon to a star. —Emerson

  • You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. —Beverly Sills

  • Winners never quit and quitters never win. —Unknown

Do You Feel Like Quitting?

People Who Didn't Know How To Quit


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Role Modeling Perseverance Prevents A Quitting Attitude

My mother taught me perseverance when I was about eight years old. I wanted to learn to sew pretty dresses like the ones she made for me, but with my limited abilities as a child it was clear that I needed beginner's lessons. She handed me a square piece of cloth and a large blue button. By following her example, I managed to almost sew the button onto the cloth. Almost! I realized it was going to take some work to learn how to sew. I wanted to give in already.

However, my mother, seeing my disappointment, gave me some praise and encouraged me to try again. After several attempts, I did learn how to sew buttons tightly onto cloth. And I can hear my mother's voice in the shadows of my mind, "train up a child in the way he should go and, when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Book of Proverbs)

When we role model perseverance for our children, we teach them to do their best and to keep trying. Children are hesitant to take on new things, but we can encourage them through our positive role modeling around the home. When you face an obstacle or problem do you easily give in or do you try to find a solution?

Hearing a parent use positive speech during difficult times deepens a child's understanding of perseverance and strengthens a "can do" attitude. For example, using phrases like, "this is really hard work but I'm going to see this through to the end.", teaches your child that quitting is not an option.

Your support of your child's efforts will help him or her to learn perseverance. Here is the key, you must allow them to face the task alone, if you offer too much assistance it will lead to enabling behavior. My mother was wise to role model the skill of sewing and then to guide me through positive praise until I reached my goal.

Next time you get a chance, watch your child's behavior when she faces a challenge. How does she handle it? Does he think through the problem and try to find a solution on his own? Or, does he come running to you for assistance? If the task is something that they can handle, guiding them through the situation, and not doing it for them, will help them to develop creative problem solving skills and perseverance. This is a sure way to help them know the joy of accomplishing difficult tasks and that quitting is a last resort.

When Is It OK To Quit?

This is the most difficult decision to make as a parent on behalf of a child. You are faced with a decision that could possibly make them a "quit for life" person. It will set a precedence for future attempts at learning new skills, joining team sports or clubs, keeping a job and other important life decisions. Too many people around us quit when the times get a little rough. They walk away from marriages, families, friendships, jobs, pregnancies and even personal beliefs. You want to help your child to make decisions based upon a good analysis of the problem and to see if there is a workable solution.

Consider the following questions in helping your child to make the decision to quit.

  • Am I influencing my child in any way through my thoughts and actions. Am I saying things that are leading her to believe she is going to be harmed or disappointed in her efforts?
  • Is the task appropriate for her age? Am I allowing her to be set up for failure? Will it provide her with a feeling of accomplishment?
  • If I allow him to quit, will this set a standard for quitting future endeavors? Is this action a chucking of responsibility and commitment to his efforts?
  • Is there something he is not telling me? Is someone not treating him well or a threat to him? Is there a hidden fear I am not seeing or believing?
  • Do I need to support her with more enthusiasm? Will it make a difference to her in quitting the task or challenge?
  • Is the task challenging enough for him? Perhaps the task, club, sport, etc., is leading to boredom.

After considering these guidelines, you may be led to allow your child to quit for good reason without guilt. Talking with your child about these ideas will help both of you to understand the whole picture and to make a good decision. You will allow your child to gain some understanding on how to use critical thinking skills in solving problems.

After Careful Consideration . . .

Have you ever quit something and knew it was the right thing to do?

See results

© 2012 Dianna Mendez

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    • Crystal Tatum profile image

      Crystal Tatum 3 years ago from Georgia

      Hi teaches, This is good information. I have always had difficulty sticking with a new enterprise, because I get discouraged and give up easily. It's a self-defeating attitude for sure. Yet, I do have persistence and tenacity in some areas, so I guess it's a matter of applying those qualities in other areas.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Louisa, I can appreciate a person who is committed to a project or idea until they have exhausted all choices. Your father has passed on good character traits. Thanks for your added flavor to the hub.

    • Louisa Rogers profile image

      Louisa Rogers 4 years ago from Eureka, California and Guanajuato, Mexico

      Teaches, There is only one thing I can remember quitting which I regret-- being a reporter for my college newspaper. But it was my choice, not my parents'.

      So often what I teach to others, I'm still learning myself. Quitting vs. perservering are almost always an area of discernment for me, never simple questions. I have a tendency to stick with something (not just a skill I'm learning, but groups I'm involved with and roles) past the time when it's appropriate to move on, out of some sense of misguided loyalty or anxiety. My father also has, in my opinion, an exaggerated sense of bligation, so maybe I got it from him. Excellent hub!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Rfordin, young children need guidance when they begin to join groups. It's a trial and error period for this age and time period. It's ok to quit, as long as it's for the right reason. Just need to know the difference between commitment and giving up. Thanks for your sharing from experience, it's very valuable to the content. Enjoy your weekend. Blessings.

    • Rfordin profile image

      Rfordin 4 years ago from Florida

      As a child I was a habitual quitter. I would start some new lesson and then want to quit it right away. Commitments and authority have never really been my cup of tea. My parents always let me quit too, looking back I wish they would have made it harder to quit every activity I embarked on I think I was searching for a 'niche and was never able to really find it because I wasn't encouraged to keep trucking on......I worry about this with my youngest she already has the tendencies to start something and then make excuses of why she can't follow through....time will tell I guess. Interesting read....

      ~Becky

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Hi Running Deer,

      You were so blessed to have a mother who knew how to encourage and support a child. Very wise woman! I am sure that you have absorbed this character trait as well. I enjoyed your comment and appreciate your visit today. Have a great weekend.

    • RunningDeer profile image

      RunningDeer 4 years ago from Iowa

      My mom was always very supportive of me and my decisions. She would just ask me if I was sure, and if I was, she supported me. We have a great relationship, so I always felt like I could talk about my decisions and rationalizations with her. Great hub! Voted up and sharing.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      CClitgirl, your response is a hub in itself and a great lesson for us all to learn from. I was wincing with each statement you made about your feeling out of place. Adolescence is such a difficult age: parents have to teach us life lessons and we are trying to define ourselves. It is tough. I am sure that you were defined by the experience and you are much better for the wear. You are a strong person!

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 4 years ago from Western NC

      What a great topic for a hub. When I was younger, I was in track and field, piano, choir, ice skating, and seasonal sports. I was also active at my church as an altar server and a confirmation teacher. I did a lot! But, I sooo wanted to quit ice skating. My mom wouldn't let me, saying that if I quit ice skating, I'd have to quit everything else. I loved everything else I did. So, I stuck it out with ice skating. I know my mom was trying to teach me a lesson in not being a quitter, but I just didn't have my heart in skating. I liked it for about the first three years, but then I realized I was never going to be a really good skater. Not because I couldn't if I put my mind to it, but because I didn't like the people or the culture. I was surrounded by girls who talked about their sequined skating dresses and wearing make-up for shows. I hated the dresses, hated the make-up and hated the shows. When the girls accomplished things and did well in the sport, I felt like they got a little "stuck-up." It was definitely a "wealthy people" sport and we weren't wealthy. I didn't fit in. Those were the reasons I wanted to quit. I don't think I ever successfully articulated these sentiments to my parents, who insisted that I skate until they finally closed the skating rink when I got into 9th grade. My mom was going to sign me up at the arena down the road, but I finally, finally convinced her to let me quit after that. So, yes, I know my parents were teaching me not to be a "quitter," but I felt like I couldn't fully tell them how I was feeling about all the people in the sport (because I was pretty young - around 4th grade). I endured for 5 years after that, but never got very far in the sport - I just didn't want to. Your hub brought all those memories back. I'm still unsure of the exact, best course of action to take, but yeah, like you said, I think it's a weighty decision, and my parents knew that. It was definitely a lesson in endurance and riding things out when you don't want to, but I do wish my wonderful, loving parents had seen that I was such a tomboy and didn't like the culture of the girls that were always in the dressing rooms primping themselves. LOL. But, I do love my parents for their willingness to see me through this. Oh, goodness. Now I have to call them and tell them I'm thinking about them. Hehe.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Dwachira, it must be rewarding to help people to understand commitment. I'll bet that you see a love of positive results. Those times when you have to admit throwing in the towel is needed -- it is still a good learning experience. Thanks for adding value to this topic. Take care and be strong.

    • dwachira profile image

      [ Danson Wachira ] 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Hi teaches12345,

      As a parent, making that decision for your child on when to quit is the most difficult one. As a lecturer in a public institution, i have witnessed so many incidences of young men and women wanting to give up in life. The most difficult task is putting them back on the right track but i dread a time when i will tell that young man or woman " Ok, it is time to quit". We are are supposed to be mentors and role models and not support failure but sometime we can't help it. Great article, voted up and useful.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thank you, Kathleen for your support on this topic. It is a difficult decision to make on behalf of a child.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Great advice to a difficult situation for every parent and child. This one should be SHARED. Think I will.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Shasta, it is hard to know when to let a child quit. It involves the heart of both parent and child which is an emotional factor in the decision. Thanks for your visit here. Enjoy your day.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 5 years ago from USA

      It is tough to decide for yourself when you should plod along or just move on to other things, but it is even harder when you are deciding for a child, since you will never have completely all the facts. You've provided some great ideas about how to make that decision.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      It is difficult to keep from quitting when you are tired. I often feel the same way, Deborah. Your mom taught you well.. keep going and never quit.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Hey excellent hub.. I am smarter than I thought. I made 100 percent on the test.. YEAH!!! I love your tests.. I have sold Mary Kay Cosmetics for years and they always taught us never quit .. never give up. I do get tired and weary sometimes trying to get my books published etc. sometimes I wonder why i write but i can't quit.. My mom told me never to quit....

      voted up and sharing

      debbie

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Nell, thank you for coming by and leaving such a positive comment. I also wish my parents would have encouraged my piano lessons. Who know how our path may have change? Take care and be well.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Reading this was so strange because over the last few days I have been having this conversation with my friend. It started from a memory when watching a tv program about a dancing school. there are so many times in our lives when we wish that we had done this or that, and I said to my friend, oh how I wish my mum and dad had persuaded me to carry on, I would love to have gone on to stage school, which many of the others did. and your saying that you quoted above 'Book of Proverbs' is so true. My mum and dad were the lovliest parents but they didn't really push us or advise us about these things, its so important, and something I really wish I had done, voted up and tweeted, nell

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Ignugent, I think that we are of like-mind in knowing the value of elders in life. They do have the wisdom we need to help us live live well. Thank you, my friend, your adding this to the message.

    • profile image

      ignugent17 5 years ago

      It is really true teaches12345 that kids need the guidance of the old folks in all the decisions they make. You are lucky to have a mother full of wisdom. I am thankful that you shared this wisdom to your kids, grandkids and to us your readers.

      Voted up and more!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Lyricwriter, thanks for stopping by here and for adding value to the message. Quitting is a hard concept to explain and it takes careful guiding by parents to help them make the best choice. Take care, friend.

      Terrye, you did your tough parenting and now your son is a good decision maker. Well done! Great story to prove the worth of this hub topic. Thank you, dear friend.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Great advice and information, teaches! My first son wanted to quit judo halfway through the year and I made him commit to finished the year out (we had paid for the full year and no refunds). He was struggling to get his next belt and wanted to quit. Because we made him finish out the year, he got his next belt. But, he did end up dropping it because we moved 50 miles away. Since then, he's pretty much finished his commitments to any activity he's put his mind to.

      A great hub by a great writer! :) Voted up and sharing.

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 5 years ago from West Virginia

      Teaches, yet again another example of your wisdom. We all fortunate to learn from your articles. It is quite hard to explain quiting to our children cause they don't funny understand, as well as us parents. Appreciate your shared wisdom on a such a subject as this. Very beneficial with tips and advice I have learned from your article Teaches. Great work as always. Voted up, useful, and interesting. Best wishes.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Rtalloni, thanks for your support of the topic. I think many parents hear this phrase often from their young children. Hopefully, this helps them to understand how to help. Enjoy your day.

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 5 years ago from the short journey

      Such a sensible look at guiding children's choices and helping them grow through difficult circumstances and decisions. Great stuff!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I agree, Christy, these tips can be used as decision makers for adults too. Thanks for your insightful view and support. Be well and strong.

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      There are even lessons for adults with a little tweaking. Keep motivated. You offer very practical advice. I vote up.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Ruchira, you have a point. Parents often see their child take on a sport, job, etc. that goes beyond what is recommended for their character or ability. Many times they astound us and succeed, but then there are times when we see them fail. Knowing how to deal with it is what is important. Be prepared. Thanks for your wisdom. Enjoy your day.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Guiding your child through those times when he seems to be bored will help him to understand commitment. I have to motivate myself sometimes when my jobs become mundane. Formosangirl, keep up the good work! Enjoy your family.

    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

      Good pointers, Dianna.

      Personally, I feel that a parent ought to be patient esp when the kid comes up with this issue. I have seen my attitude change when my mind is occupied with stuff.

      I gotta change myself and be prepared for such a moment before my kid :)

      voted up as interesting!

    • formosangirl profile image

      formosangirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles

      Teaches12345, I scored 100% on the test. This is such an important topic. My son did not practice chess and entered a contest. He never placed in the Round Robin. He then quit. It impacted me more than my son. Both kids stopped playing the piano. My son had not use his Mindstorm for quite some time, even though it had everything that he wanted, Lego's and computer programming. Sometimes I just take it as him losing interest rather than quitting. Recently, I reminded him of the privilege of owning Mindstorm, and he picked it up again. He told me that he loves what he can do with it. So, although we do have arguments about it, I also reminded him that I know him pretty well and gently and argumentatively steer him back to something I know he loves. Thanks for sharing your article. Voted up and useful.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Alicia, I have had to deal with this issue a few times and it is never that easy to decide. After considering all the angles, it's sometimes a matter of the heart that decides. Good post and add to the content, thank you. Enjoy your day.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is yet another hub filled with excellence advice, teaches. The decision about whether or not a child should quit an activity is a difficult one, but you've made it easier with your suggestions.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Your words are so wise, hyphenbird! You begin by setting the guidelines and the child knows what is expected. Excellent! You are raising a child who will be a good decision maker. Thanks for stopping by, your comment adds value here. Blessings.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Leah, good work with your children, especially the piano student. I have been there! I think sometimes small incentives also help in keeping a child focused. (Not bribery, nah! Ha, ha) Wise words, anything worthwhile does take dedication and perseverance. Thanks for your add to the topic. Take care.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Glimmer, it is a common problem among families and knowing how to deal with it will make the decision-making easier. Give your daughter a hug for me!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Hello, girishpuri. I am glad you found the information useful to you and your family. That is rewarding to hear. Enjoy your day.

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      This is an important subject that arises throughout one's life and creates or damages character. You presented it very well teaches12345. My little boy and I seriously discuss every commitment and decide on a minimum time limit for staying with it. He knows it is okay to discontinue an activity if it becomes dangerous or something like that, otherwise it is there for the duration. I believe this builds a child greatly. Thank you for a fine article-again.

    • leahlefler profile image

      Leah Lefler 5 years ago from Western New York

      This is really, really great teaches12345! I have five and six year old sons, so we are always working on different character qualities. My older son takes piano and is actually quite good at it, but he is now entering a phase where the songs get slightly harder and are a bit tougher to master. We use positive language a lot, acknowledging that the piece is difficult, "That's a hard one, isn't it buddy?" but also encouraging him to continue, "Wow - you got that measure perfectly! Way to go!" Anything worthwhile takes work and perseverance to accomplish.

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 5 years ago

      Teaches - great hub on a pertinent topic in our house right now. My daughter is begging to stop something, but we know it's because she doesn't want to leave her friends to got the activity. Tears ensure, but she always enjoys it after class. Good info and I love the quotes.

    • girishpuri profile image

      Girish puri 5 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      Thanks Dianna, you always write which, i can co relate with me and my family, A usual great message, so many thanks.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Hello, William. I love your story. I think sometimes we just have to find out what works best for the child and help him or her to get there through the detour. Thanks for your add to the hub content. Enjoy your evening.

    • William Young profile image

      William Young 5 years ago from Eaglle Grove, Iowa

      That is a great article, Teaches12345!

      I can very much relate to that because I went through it as a child. When I was about 10 years old, I took drum lessons. The whole process of ratta-tat-tat over and over again was so incredibly boring and I didn't think I was getting anything out of it, so I quit. But then my parents bought me a drum set and encouraged me to keep playing on my own. Now I have been playing the drums ever since, having been basically self taught. Recently, I read an interview with Liberty DeVito who was Billy Joel's drummer for 30 years and learned that he is also completely self taught! Your message is great--never give up!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thanks, Julie. If only it were black and white, we would all be stellar parents!

      Teacher Joe, you have a point. There are people who are gifted in certain areas more than others and in these cases they should bow out. Thanks for your thoughts and support. Blessings.

    • teacherjoe52 profile image

      teacherjoe52 5 years ago

      Hi teaches.

      I agree very strongly that we are to encourage everybody but also let them know it's okay to quit if they are not capable.

      For example I learned very early on that when it comes to building things I have two left thumbs so it is useless to try to force me to build a treehouse.

      God bless you.

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 5 years ago from Clinton CT

      This was great. Things with kids are never black and white and it truly is a difficult problem to assess. I think you did a wonderful job with this article!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Sturgeonl, it is never too late to pick up that guitar. I'll bet you would enjoy it more this time around. As I noted in the hub, I too wish I would have continued with my piano lessons at that age. I did take it up again later but now I don't have the time to really polish the skill. Thanks for your thoughts here and the value you added to the hub topic. Have a good weekend, friend.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thanks for the support and share of this hub topic, breakfastpop. I think this subject is really a tricky one to handle for many parents. Glad it was of use to your family. See you at the inn.. no quitting that.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Blond Logic, there are so many extracurricular activities for children to join. That is good, because trying them will help them to learn what they enjoy best. I think that a child will stick to what really interests them over time. However, we do have to guide them when they should or should not keep an important commitment to team, project or other activities. Sounds like you have some pretty savvy kids! Enjoy our family.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Shampa, the subject of quitting and perseverance is so difficult to handle when it comes to our children. We want the best for them and it really is hard to know at times if we are seeing the real issue. Ten years old is a time of life when children are making that transition into puberty and all the pre-teen scene issues. It is difficult for them to function some days with all the physical changes that is happening within them. I would certainly talk to him about his feelings and thoughts about quitting and then see if you can both make a decision that is healthy for everyone. I didn't mention it here, but I did take up piano again years later -- without my parents prompting. You just never know. Thanks for your insightful view and support of the topic. I wish you and your son the best in this journey.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      How wonderful that a compromise was made and she is able to continue with her passion for dancing. Always a difficult decision when it comes to quitting isn't it? Remaniki, thank you for sharing this here, it adds to the content value. Take care.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Enjoy your task's completion, well almost done. :) They will always need your positive support. Thanks Mhatter for coming by to support the topic. See you later.

    • Sturgeonl profile image

      Sturgeonl 5 years ago

      I took classical guitar lessons when I was young which I ended up quiting. I wish I never did. Having guidelines to help make the right choices, and think critically about reasons to persurvere or quit something, is great advice and a key to making good decisions. I wish I could have considered more thoughtfully my decision to quit classical guitar as a child. I might have changed my mind and still be playing it today. Wonderful hub! Vote up!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 5 years ago

      I loved this very important piece. I am going to send it to my daughters who struggle with this very issue from time to time. Up interesting, useful and awesome.

    • Blond Logic profile image

      Mary Wickison 5 years ago from Brazil

      Hello Dianna,

      As always very interesting. I would say, for me, I was always unlikely to quit something when I should have stopped much sooner.

      My children on the other hand will stop if something isn't working for them, and move on. I think in today's society there doesn't seem to be a stigma attached if you flit from one thing to another.

      My children, thankfully, are both independent, strong willed and positive.

      Often parents, especially now, feel their children have to be doing something. The children's time is too structured with extra curricular activities. I am not sure that is always the best thing. I fear children don't know how to entertain themselves.

      Voted up and interesting.

    • shampa sadhya profile image

      Shampa Sadhya 5 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Voted up, useful and awesome!

      You always come up with such a hub which becomes a guiding force for me. My son is ten years old and he started learning vocal music from the age of three and a half. It's almost three years now that he is learning to play keyboard too. At present I've noticed he is disinterested in practicing his lessons for the both. I always encourage him but no positive response from his side. Though he loves to participate in music shows in the school as well as those which are organised by his music teacher. This year he has appeared his IIIrd year examination for Hindustani Classical Music and is always appreciated by his teachers for his voice and musical abilities. Still, he is not keen to practice or attend weekly classes in place of watching television shows.

      Now, I've opted a negative route that I myself asked him to quit if he is not interested. He disagrees with me but still doesn't practice. Though in the meantime he left his drawing class and cricket coaching. We readily agreed due to time constraint, he was feeling bored because he wanted to play freely as children play with the friends in the evening and not under various coaching rules and drawing he never enjoyed much. Music which we all want him to pursue but he is not sincere though he is not willing to quit. Very rarely he practices that too when I scold him a lot. That's why I am really stressed as money too matters a lot but he hardly understands the reasoning. I just don't know what to do but obviously I will try to tackle and convince him the way you have suggested. You have rightly said that quitting is not a solution rather I believe in return it makes a looser in the long run. Thanks for writing this article. Sharing it socially.

    • remaniki profile image

      Rema T V 5 years ago from Chennai, India

      Hi Dianna,

      Very well thought out hub laid out very well. Very practical too. I can relate to this one because the last two months have been a stressful period for my daughter and I because she wanted to quit dancing the reason being that she wasn't able to attend evening classes due to her other activities and school work. She has a government scholarship in classical dancing and to think of quitting at such a time was a difficult decision.

      After much discussion and prodding, she has agreed to continue (only after she was fully convinced) thanks to her teacher who promised to accommodate her in the early morning classes specially created for her. This cheered up my daughter who is happy now because she can continue dancing.

      Thanks very much for a wonderful hub. Voted up, interesting, shared and tweeted. Cheers, Rema.

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      Martin Kloess 5 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. Both of my children are grow up and independent. Except for my daughter's "loser" boyfriends, I was pretty lucky.

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Jen, I applaud your daughter's effort in learning to ride a bike, I still cannot do it! Glad this hub will help you to guide her through the process. Blessings.

      Tillsontitan, the key is you got to try it, if it's not what you like then consider why it is you don't. Sometimes, it's a matter of looking at what will make the difference in your continuing with the effort. You have added great insight here and it is valued!

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      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      Sometimes quitting is the only answer but teaching your children how and when is very important. You've made some great and valid points. This is a great hub for parents to read.

      Voted up, useful, and interesting.

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      jenbeach21 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Great hub. I really need to keep reading this as my daughter learns to ride a bike without training wheels. She gives up too easily in my opinion. I will be back re-reading this. Thanks!

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Absolutely, you can skip homework and you get a shiny gold star too! It's so hard to make those decisions as a parent. I am sure that my mother looked back and wished she had made me continue my piano lessons. I still enjoy playing occasionally and really love listening to classical piano tunes. Don't kick yourself over it, she will find her interests, if not already. Faith, God bless you.

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I think that some people need to quit some interests when they are overwhelmed and not getting much accomplished. Those important ones, they need to see them through. Thanks for your add to the content, Alecia.

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      It is so hard to make your child follow through, but it is so important in making them understand commitment. Pamela, I too believe this is a prevalent problem in society today, too easy to quit.

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      Faith Reaper 5 years ago from southern USA

      Hello Ms. teaches - I scored 100 on the test, so can I skip homework? Seriously, this is one very insightful hub. I will always regret allowing our daughter to quit gymnastics, as she was at that age when boys were really starting to come into the picture. All I can say is, we were very wrong in allowing her to quit. Excellent advice here. God bless. In His Love, Faith Reaper

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      Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      Great hub! I think quitting is necessary at times. Sometimes it feels like kids do too much for the sake of filling up an application to college instead of actually committing to something. In a way that is just as bad as quitting.

      However, I agree with you that giving up is a very hard thing to do when you know there is something greater for you in the distance. Lovely job :).

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      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      Very good suggestions and this is a problem all parents face. When my boys were young if they signed up for a sport and then decided they didn't want to continue I did not let them quit. I made them stay for the season they committed to, then if they didn't want to play the next year that was okay. This happened with 2 of my sons, but they didn't argue with my decision. I agree that this is a problem in today's society. This is an excellent hub which makes some very valid points.

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thanks for stopping by, Mama Kim. I appreciate your voting and sharing. Enjoy your weekend with family.

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      Sasha Kim 5 years ago

      Wonderful wisdom on a subject that is a worry for so many parents. Thank you ^_^ Liked the quiz too ^_^ voted up and shared

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Yup, I am there with you, Linda. Once I commit, it's hard to quit! Thanks for your reflection on the hub post, the votes and tweets. Enjoy your weekend.

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      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Very inspiring and motivating. Some days I wish I was more of a quitter, it's so darn hard to just quit. Anything. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do when burn out sets in. Voted and Tweeted! See you in tomorrow's edition! :)

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Mary, I think this is a common trait in young children. It takes some family support and motivation to keep them engaged. Don't worry, I have been there too! I appreciate your stopping by here. Enjoy your weekend.

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      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      Hi teaches12345. My kids all start out like "gang busters" for a new sport or something else. After a few weeks they just burn out. Your Hub would have helped me deal with that problem. In all honesty I'm kind of the same way, I'm afraid.

      I voted this Hub UP, etc. and will share.

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Teachable, he, he, he.. what a great story from your child's dealing with the Angry Birds game. Love it! You sound like you are doing an awesome job in raising your kids already. Yes, nobody is perfect, just do your best. Thanks for your reflection of the hub topic and for your support.

      Docmo, as always, you are an inspiring hub follower. Thanks. What a joy to see you here. Have a great weekend, friend.

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      Mohan Kumar 5 years ago from UK

      Great hub, Dianna. You have a way of getting right into the root of the issue, sympathise and empathise in a way that we all know how touch these issues can be and take us by the hand and show us gentle guidance and reassurance. What a wonderful teacher you are!

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      TeachableMoments 5 years ago from California

      Teaches, great hub. Your hubs always make me take a closer look at my own parenting and teaching skills. Am I always the best role model? Not by a long shot, but I try. As my daughter says, "Nobody is perfect. Just try your best." I have taught my daughter how to not give up by sharing true stories with her. She listens so intensely and remembers everything. Sometimes she comes back, days later, and uses my stories to help her complete a task. Sometimes she even uses my stories to help her "friends." Just the other day she said, "Don't give up Angry Bird. Mommy had to work so hard to get college stuff so you work hard and you get King Pig." =)

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Good parenting between you and your hubby! It was the right decision to make and the fact that you learned from it is priceless experience. Thanks for sharing from your life events, many will learn from reading your post. Enjoy your upcoming weekend.

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Janine, I love the video-- it's such a catchy song and a very good message. Good job on the quiz! I admire the people listed who didn't give up -- we benefited from their perseverance. Thanks for sharing, voting and tweeting. You are a great support to my writing.

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Jools, I think you are right -- sometimes, the battle is just not worth it and you have to let them quit. Hopefully, they learn from the experience. Congrats on the 100%, you know you're history!

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Yes, I wanted to quit lots of things when I was young. Mostly, because I lacked the stick-to-it-iveness and the motivation was weak. Thanks for your feedback, Debbie. Stay focused and be well.

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      kelleyward 5 years ago

      Great hub Teaches! I had to deal with this with my oldest child, when he wanted to quit Karate. I was raised to never give up, so I wanted him to stay until the program was over. My husband; however, had a different opinion on the matter. After listening to him, I realized I suggested Karate to him and he is young, and limited in experiences such as this. In the end, I let my son decide to quit. He approached the coach and we donated the month to another child. It was a great lesson for all of us to learn. Voted up! Kelley

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      Janine Huldie 5 years ago from New York, New York

      Very wonderful message here and such great suggestions too, Dianna. I have pinned this to reference for my girls in the future, because she really gave some invaluable information in this article. I have to tell you I loved the quiz too (scored 100%) and loved the Sesame Street clip too (I admit with two small kids, I have seen this one quite a few times before). Have also voted, shared and tweeted too!!

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      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      teaches12345, This is a very interesting hub. It is hard work trying to persuade someone to continue with something if they are adamant but I think you're dead right about modelling behaviour. Your children learn from you - I always try to remember that. I also got 100% in the quiz - yeah me :o)

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      Debbie Pinkston 5 years ago from Pereira, Colombia and NW Arkansas

      This is an amazing Hub that all parents should read and learn from! There are so many times that our kids want to quit, and it takes wisdom to know how to handle it. There are definitely times when they need to quit, but most of the time it's a matter of sticking with something even when the going gets tough or it's a little boring.

      Thanks for writing such informative, practical Hubs!

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Karen, scouts is such a wonderful program for boys. Depending on the leaders, it can hold interest over many years. My son quit scouts right before becoming an eagle scout. The group changed under new leadership and he felt left out. Thanks for your validating this topic with your comment. Enjoy your weekend.

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      Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

      This is a very thought provoking hub with good advice for parents. My son constantly wanted to quit Cub Scouts about 2 months into the meetings each year, but we encouraged him to stay in since he had started the year, and for the camping trips which he always enjoyed with his Dad ( usually February and April) and then till the end of the year. One year in August, he finally stated that he had had enough, and we allowed him to stop.We realized at that point that he just didn't have an interest and didn't even want to start the year in Scouts so we sat down and had a family discussion.Voted up and useful.

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thanks, Bill. I knew a person like you who knows the value of perseverance could relate to the subject. Congrats on the perfect score! :)

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Great message and great suggestions, and I even got 100% on the quiz....for so many reasons, a great hub Dianna!