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When You Get Angry With Your Children

Updated on April 14, 2013

Can you remember a day when nothing seemed to go right? Then you find that your bright little cherubs are stepping on your last nerve. Loved ones often take the brunt of our misplaced anger. You see them wilt in the face of your anger, and the guilt starts to eat at you. So what can be done?

First, you need to apologize to your child. Explain that you over reacted. Let her know it was not her fault. Tell her you love her.

This will do a number of things for you. It will help relieve your guilt. Your child will learn that she did not do something horribly wrong. Also, your child will learn that parents are not perfect, and she does not need to strive for perfection either. It will show her how to deal with her own anger, and how to apologize when the situation calls for it.

Second, realize that everyone has an occasional bad day. If this is an isolated incident, don't worry overly much about it. Consider joining a parents chat group were you can discuss your parental short comings with others. It can be very helpful to know you are not alone. I enjoy the site. (It is only for moms.)

If, however, you seem to be having a large number of bad days try to identify the stressors in your life and if possible alleviate them. (Also, consider that sometimes the chemicals in our brain get imbalanced, like during depression. A therapist can prescribe the medication to help re-balance those chemicals so that we can again cope with life's stressors.)

Some stressors can not be alleviated and just need to be worked through. An example would be dealing with death or prolonged illness. If your anger at the situation is being directed at your children you need to find a support group and/or a good therapist.

Your local hospice can refer you to a grief counselor. If you are worried about the cost of therapy, your pastor could be your therapist or, depending on your circumstances, you may be eligible for free counseling at the hospice. Also, there are often state and federal programs that can provide free counseling. Here in Washington state the WIC program gives pregnant and nursing women access to counseling (among other things).

Other stressors in our life seem to be constant, like money. It does not seem to matter how much money you make it somehow still manages to be an issue. With items of this nature we just need to cope without letting the problems overwhelm us.

The first thing I would recommend is get enough sleep. Without proper sleep our ability to cope is severely diminished. Also, the experts say that sleep is a good stress reliever.

As your increasing the amount of sleep you get each day, try to carve out a few minutes for exercise. Exercise is another good basic stress reliever.

Finally take a few minutes for yourself. Even if it is only a few deep breaths before walking through the door to your children. You will all be better for the few minutes you take away from them.

If you are having trouble finding enough time in your day consider cancelling your cable service. As a whole we Americans spend entirely too much time in front of the television.

If you still can't find the time look at your to-do list and consider the importance of each item. Certainly, there is at least one item that can be sacrificed for you and your children's emotional well-being.

So, take a few deep breaths and good luck.


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    • Joy M profile image

      Joy M 7 years ago from Sumner, Washington

      Thank you.

    • Elyse Eaton profile image

      Elyse Eaton 7 years ago

      Yes, good advice.

    • wannabwestern profile image

      Carolyn Augustine 9 years ago from The Land of Tractors

      Thumbs Up! This is excellent advice.