When do you know you have been abused?
For over a good amount of my life I have been abused a one way or another. When I was old enough to walk properly and speak well enough, society set in. Now, you may call it childhood behavior or learning, but when does the pain become abuse? Where does the crossing of friendly or accidental mean gesture, become lies and blatant harmful abuse. Is there a line? Maybe it is something else...
For almost Two years.
A while back my military mother, for a reason currently I still have not been explained properly to, told me to "get out." Her home, her right, I guess. Anyway, right at the moment the same pain, a pain that tells my body someone is raping me, is hurting, like it has for almost two years. I a while ago complained to my mother that i thought or felt weird pain in certain areas of my body and her typical "I don't care" came through. Allowed. Because I am only a human being and can not see through walls or for extremely far distances, also i am not a doctor, I can not still pinpoint what the pain is. Just kinda wanting it to go away. By the way what is rape?
Well, I am not sure where writing about this will get me, probably just a way of clearing some of the confusion. But What a past two years.