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Why My Kids Are NOT the Light of My Life

Updated on August 25, 2015

My Girls

Lo & SG
Lo & SG

I love my children but...

A Mom friend of mine was gushing about the awesomeness of her offspring and how her kids were the "light of her life!" You know the type, Facebook picture updates of her children's every milestone and every life event, peppered with parenting articles that tell us all how to be better examples to our tiny people. When I think about it, this friend of mine only talks about her kids and only adds to the conversation when it is related to raising children. That got me thinking...

Why don't I exclusively chatter on about my kiddos? Why don't I post accomplishment after accomplishment of their short lives and my own parenting wins? Why are my children NOT the light of my life? Am I a bad parent who doesn't give enough or do enough for my kids?

Here's what i came up with:

I don't talk about my girls constantly because as cute and precocious as they are, there is more to life than what revolves around them. There is music and relationships and gossip and religion and art and (gasp) politics. There's adult conversations that have nothing to do with pre-K or potty training or what my children will or will not eat. Yes, there are conversations that encompass those topics, but not ALL conversations do...and not all conversations should.

I don't post every tiny accomplishment because 1. I don't always realize that they have met some milestone until reflecting on it later, I exist in the moment. 2. Honestly, who wants to know that my child just took their first shit on the potty or learned to draw a circle? Seriously, TMI. 3. I suck at remembering to take pictures and one day, in this world of constant social media, it will look like my kiddos only existed every 3 months when Mom remembered to capture them on digital. 4. I get exhausted seeing all the posts of what everyone else's offspring are up to so I figure, why add to the insanity?

Don't get me wrong, I do post about my girls and I do gush about their activities on occasion, and I do share inspiring parenting stories; but it's all encompassed in what I hope is a bigger picture. A picture that includes the things I love not only as a mother, but as a woman, a friend, a wife, and a compassionate, creative being.

To say that my children are THE light of my life would leave me in a rather dark existence. There are so many things that lend radiance to my life...my amazing husband who is my heart and my beacon of love and grounding...my loyal friends who make me laugh and don't judge me (even if they judge what I wear)...my sister who knows my soul and is forever my "person." My crazy, beautiful, eclectic family...all illuminating my actuality.

I paint and I write and I run and I sing and I read...and I see art, and I hear music, and I dance...and all these things set my world ablaze with light.

Yes, my girls are a single, dazzling, hugely important light. But to confine myself to the parameters of a single focus, a single glow in a world that is luminous with so much more...perhaps that would make me less. Less of a person, less of an example, less of a Mom.

My life has many lights, my children are simply one of the more glorious rays.


Just me, no kids

cocktails on the porch
cocktails on the porch

Before We Were Mom & Dad

me & my Bear
me & my Bear

Friends!

Jaime & me
Jaime & me
me & Sara
me & Sara

These Little Lights of Mine

Lo
Lo
SG & Mom
SG & Mom

Comments

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    • profile image

      Elizabeth whittington 

      2 years ago

      So glad I made the list of other things "my person" but I do wish to see more pics of your beautiful and wonderful girls! I love you all to pieces!!

    • Ruth Angel profile image

      Ruth Mata 

      3 years ago from New Mexico

      My children are very very important to me and they do emit so much light into my life. But just as yourself, I enjoy so many other things. I enjoy life as a whole and not just a few pieces of the puzzle. Though I do enjoy keeping up with my children's mile stones, I don't post about every single thing that happens on social media. I figure if anyone should be enjoying those milestones, it's the parents, why should it matter if acquaintances, (let's be honest here, most of the "friends" people acquire on Facebook, are just that), so again why should it matter if they get to enjoy those milestones?

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 

      3 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      yeah, kids are part of the parcel of life, hubby may be the light of your life before but in the near future, your kids will be the light

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Excellent hub. So many parents overglorify their children, putting their own lives last. These are the type of parents who when their children establish independent action, feel unappreciated and unloved. They are the parents who are martyrs and feel lost without their children. It is good to establish parameters as a parent. Yes, you are a parent but an individual with her own wants and needs also. This should be required reading for all parents.

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 

      3 years ago from Jamaica

      Nothing is wrong in following your kids progress and being extra proud of each accomplishment...even though many parents go waaaayyyy over board with it. But we often take the little things for granted until one day we wake up and they have left us and we suddenly realise how important that little thing was. But i also see your point, there is nothing wrong in your point of view either.

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