Why My Kids Are NOT the Light of My Life
I love my children but...
A Mom friend of mine was gushing about the awesomeness of her offspring and how her kids were the "light of her life!" You know the type, Facebook picture updates of her children's every milestone and every life event, peppered with parenting articles that tell us all how to be better examples to our tiny people. When I think about it, this friend of mine only talks about her kids and only adds to the conversation when it is related to raising children. That got me thinking...
Why don't I exclusively chatter on about my kiddos? Why don't I post accomplishment after accomplishment of their short lives and my own parenting wins? Why are my children NOT the light of my life? Am I a bad parent who doesn't give enough or do enough for my kids?
Here's what i came up with:
I don't talk about my girls constantly because as cute and precocious as they are, there is more to life than what revolves around them. There is music and relationships and gossip and religion and art and (gasp) politics. There's adult conversations that have nothing to do with pre-K or potty training or what my children will or will not eat. Yes, there are conversations that encompass those topics, but not ALL conversations do...and not all conversations should.
I don't post every tiny accomplishment because 1. I don't always realize that they have met some milestone until reflecting on it later, I exist in the moment. 2. Honestly, who wants to know that my child just took their first shit on the potty or learned to draw a circle? Seriously, TMI. 3. I suck at remembering to take pictures and one day, in this world of constant social media, it will look like my kiddos only existed every 3 months when Mom remembered to capture them on digital. 4. I get exhausted seeing all the posts of what everyone else's offspring are up to so I figure, why add to the insanity?
Don't get me wrong, I do post about my girls and I do gush about their activities on occasion, and I do share inspiring parenting stories; but it's all encompassed in what I hope is a bigger picture. A picture that includes the things I love not only as a mother, but as a woman, a friend, a wife, and a compassionate, creative being.
To say that my children are THE light of my life would leave me in a rather dark existence. There are so many things that lend radiance to my life...my amazing husband who is my heart and my beacon of love and grounding...my loyal friends who make me laugh and don't judge me (even if they judge what I wear)...my sister who knows my soul and is forever my "person." My crazy, beautiful, eclectic family...all illuminating my actuality.
I paint and I write and I run and I sing and I read...and I see art, and I hear music, and I dance...and all these things set my world ablaze with light.
Yes, my girls are a single, dazzling, hugely important light. But to confine myself to the parameters of a single focus, a single glow in a world that is luminous with so much more...perhaps that would make me less. Less of a person, less of an example, less of a Mom.
My life has many lights, my children are simply one of the more glorious rays.