- Family and Parenting
Why are Introverted Teens Stigmatized by Their Peers and Sometimes Their Parents
Introverted Teens Have It TOUGH In High School
Introverted Teens Have It TOUGH In High School
Introverted teens have to face and/or endure more difficulties in high school than their extroverted peers. They oftentimes follow a different path than their extroverted peers. Oftentimes, they find the intense social interaction in high school to be quite numbing, even unnerving and immobilizing. They would rather pursue academic and/or other solitary activities such as reading, solving complex problems, sketching, painting, and/or writing than to pursue more extroverted activities.
Furthermore, they would rather prefer having fewer qualitative friends than to have lots of associates. To many introverted teens, being popular is a non-issue. They feel that popularity has been overrated. They further observe how many teens subvert their true personalities either to be fit in a crowd and/or to have as many people as possible like them. They would rather spend their time more constructively, doing what they are sincere about/like and with friends they genuinely like/care for than to be pretentious, doing things and acquiring people just for social approval.
Because of this attitude, many introverted teens are considered losers by extroverted students. They are oftentimes denigrated for being the odd ones out. They may be even called antisocial and excluded from informal high school happenings. They can even be ostracized or even worse, marginalized and thus scapegoated because they do not and/or will not see the importance of joining such activities and groups. They contend that there are far more important things in high school than to join some social club and group.
Introverted Teens in High School Society
Introverted Teens and High School Culture/Society
High school culture and/or society can be and/or is hierarchical in nature. There exists a pecking order in high school based upon the status and desirability of the said group. At the top of the high hierarchical structure is the popular group which includes cheerleaders, athletes, prom queens, and/or other popular teens. The middle group consists of average teens who are neither popular nor unpopular, having enough friends as not to be considered outcasts. Then at the bottom or periphery of the hierarchical culture, there the outcasts and other unpopular teens. Those relegated to the bottom or peripheral group include many introverted, smart/gifted, and/or other nerdy teens who fall below the high school cultural and societal radar.
High school culture and/or society can be quite perilous for teens to navigate, especially if they are introverts. High school culture and/or society are constructed for extroverts with its extracurricular activities and social groups. For many high school students, belonging to a social is one of the most important aspects of being in high school. They consider being in a social group a grave matter of life and death. Teens who do not belong to high school social groups oftentimes have a difficult time as they are classified as losers, being ostracized, even demonized and marginalized by their peers and sometimes their parents. Social consciousness in adolescence is at its highest level. Many teens feel that they must belong to a social group and/or be involved in social activities in order to be accepted.
Because they do not join very little or no social activities and have very few, if no, high school friends, they are oftentimes considered to be odd people out. Their introverted personalities make it easier for bullies and some of the more popular teens to torment and mob them. Such bullies and the more popular teens believe that they can do as they wish with introverted teens because they are not popular enough for anyone to assist them in confronting the former. Many introverted teens were bullied mercilessly in high school because they were divergently different from the majority of students at their high school. To some extroverted students, introversion means weakness and/or other negative characteristics which is not to be tolerated. Even some teachers view introverted teens as not up to par with their extroverted counterparts. Introverted teens are woefully misunderstood by their peers, teachers, and sadly even their parents.
Introverted Teens Are So Misunderstood By Their Parents
Introverted Teens and Their Parents
Many parents, especially extroverted parents clearly cannot fathom their introverted teens at all. The parent-child relationship in adolescence is contentious enough but the relationship between parents and their introverted teens oftentimes can veer into antagonistic and beyond. Many parents view their introverted teens as oddities. They wonder why out they out with their friends doing the normal teenage things instead of staying at home, reading and/or indulging in some solitary activity. Such parents often conclude that their introverted teens are withdrawn, shy, and has some very deep social issues. They want to transform their shy, introverted teens into normal, outgoing, and even popular, extroverted teens with activities and friends galore.
Some may even view their introverted teens as quite odd. They fail to understand that the needs of introverted teens are vastly different from that of extroverted teens. Introverted teens are very comfortable in their own skin. Such teens enjoy, even relish spending time alone, loving their own company. They do not need a plethora of activities nor a packed social calendar to keep them happy or to occupy their time. They are contented in their solitary activities, hobbies, and/or pursuits. They are quite resourceful, depending on their devices. However, this does not sit well with many parents. They view such as strange, even aberrantly abnormal. In their purview, normal teenagers are out and about with their friends, not sitting home indulging in solitary activities.
These parents are somewhat ashamed that their introverted teens are not normal like the extroverted teens of their family, friends, peers, and/or associates. They feel that something is seriously amiss with their introverted teens. They wish that their introverted teens would be more normal and acceptable. They even push their introverted teens into extroverted activities, hoping that they will become more extroverted in the process. This can result in the worsening of self-esteem in their introverted teens. They will feel that they are not good enough, even inferior because of their introversion. They can even become resentful, even hating their parents for making them extroverts thus invalidating their introvert typology.
Introverted Teens Loving Just The Way THEY Are
Introverted Teens-ACCEPT, Even REJOICE in Yourselves
Introverted teens want to feel comfortable in their own skin and with their personality/typology.They refuse to be made into replicas of extroverted teens. Many introverted teens have their own circle of friends that they are comfortable with. Introverted teens for so long have been underestimated, undervalued, even demonized because they are not deemed as good as the extroverted teens around them. Many parents do their introverted teens an injustice by devaluing their introverted teens personality, oftentimes comparing them to extroverted siblings, peers, and/or other teens. As parents, you must realize that introversion is a legitimate, acceptable personality type as extroversion is.
Parents need not worry about their introverted teens conforming to their high school social environment. Studies have substantiated that introverted teens are oftentimes more mature and individualistic than their extroverted peers. Studies also confirm that many introverted teens can be categorized as gifted. Introverted teens, on average, are less likely to indulge in delinquent, irresponsible,and/or other reckless behaviors than their extroverted counterparts.
Richard Norvik, a fictional character in the movie, Peggy Sue Gets Married, exemplified the introverted teen. He was a science and math genius who preferred pursuing solitary, intellectual activities and hobbies than to socialized with the high school crowd. He was derided by the more popular students in high school. However, he subsequently became an extremely successful computer multimillionaire. Introverted teens need not worry about the social intricacies of high school for there is a better and exciting life after high school. They are just beginning as their lives are ahead of them.
High school can be a daunting endeavor for introverted teens as it is geared for extroverted students. Introverted teens can be quite unnerved by the plethora of social activities and groups in high school. Because they prefer quieter and more solitary activities and pursuits, they are oftentimes seen as odd people out by their extroverted peers. In some cases, they may be harassed, even bullied because of their introverted personality.
Not only peers, but even the adults around them such as teachers and parents misunderstand them. In their eyes, these introverted teens are atypical teens. They prefer to stay home and read than to gallivant with friends. Many parents feel that their introverted teens are abnormal because they are uninterested in more extroverted activities. They many even push their introverted teens into extroverted activities in order to be more acceptable and normal i.e. extroverts. However, this can make introverted teens feel even more inferior and may even cause resentment towards parents for not valuing their introversion.
However, introverted teens are fine the way they are. While they enjoy solitary activities, they socialize selectively. They also tend to be more independent and mature. Gifted people are more likely to be introverts. Introverted teens need never to be ashamed of their introversion. They should value and rejoice in their uniqueness.
- Extroverted Parents of Introverted Children
Extroversion is deified in this society while introversion is denigrated. Many extroverted parents do not understand their introverted children.They often view their children as incomplete or worse.......
© 2010 Grace Marguerite Williams