ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why is my child not listening? Ways to improve that!

Updated on April 24, 2015

Have you had enough talking and shouting about the same issues everyday? How about when you say things like ‘tidy up your room’, ‘don’t put this in your mouth’ and ‘don’t throw your food on the floor’? Does it feel like you have no voice left and your child is still not listening to you? I think that now it is time to change the way that things are done!

Source

What Do I Do Wrong?

Daily parental duties involve screaming, shouting and repeating the same words/phrases, and they don’t always relate to happiness or enthusiasm. I am quite sure that on numerous occasions you have said to your child the same phrase as me ‘how many times will I have to tell you?’…adding a bit of screaming or shouting to make yourself understood. Moving your hands in a threatening way is another tactic that parents adopt to make themselves more convincing.

6 Ways to Improve a Child's Behavior

So, here are six different ways parents can follow to change how things are done, and to build a nurturing relationship with your child, rather than a relationship based on fear or conflict.

1. Spend some quality time together

Children have the need to feel their parents close. They need to be nurtured and cared for, therefore if they do not take their daily ‘fix’, no method will bring results. As we all know, children are capable of screaming for 15 minutes continuously so that they can attract our attention. So, instead of getting our little ones to be quite and stop screaming, we can spend time together for that same amount of time. It is not the quantity of things that we do with them but the quality. Quality time is time spent that is purposeful and memorable, not just sitting close to our children.

Source


2. Give them responsibilities around the house

Children, irrespectively of their age, must feel responsible for some household chores. Participating in everyday tasks, they are part of a team and that is a big satisfaction for them. Nurturing the team spirit of the family, we eliminate the possibilities that in the future our children would turn and say that ‘this is not my job’. By giving our children the opportunity to have responsibilities around the house, makes them feel valued and they grow to become independent people.

3. Keep a tight night-time routine

Children need much more sleep than adults do, and that is because their body is growing continuously and that it is critical for their brain development. Also, children play and move all the time, thus resting adequately at night is essential. Research has shown that children that sleep by nine o’clock in the evening are calmer and alert the next day, compared to children that sleep around midnight.

4. Educate rather than punish

There are many children that do not respond well with the traditional ‘punishment’ method and therefore we, as parents, need to find alternative ways to get our message across. Some parents choose to use the ‘naughty step’ or sending them to their room, but that doesn’t always work. The method we choose needs to have an educational purpose and by that I mean to teach children make better choices in the future. This is the ‘key’. Next time our child is naughty, we have to think ‘what are some ways to teach him/her that this is not acceptable and how to act next time’.

5. Set simple and clear rules

In every household, there should be a code of conduct and by that I don’t mean a long list of do’s and don't’s. In a harmonious family, there are some values that every member respects and honors. When it comes to our children, we need to teach them those values/rules and also, to show them that there are consequences when these rules are not respected.

6. Say ‘yes’

Children hate to listen to us say ‘NO’, ‘DON’T’ and ‘NOT NOW’ most of the time. After all, we would feel the same! We need to turn the negative talk to a more positive one. So, when our child wants something, we have to find a way to answer with a positive phrase rather than a negative one. For example, when our child says ‘I want some chocolate now’, we can say ‘yes, of course you can have a chocolate, as soon as you have your dinner’.

Source

Is it Worth it?

My dear parents, all the above is written with love and patience towards our little people but I know that most parents will say ‘good theory but difficult to put in practice’! And I can honestly say that I would agree!! The difference is that I am willing to try to become a better parent to my child, learn and grow wiser as a person. The results of our efforts will show in the future, but some things will change immediately. All we can do is be patient and keep on trying. After all, we are parents for a lifetime.

© 2014 DemiT

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • DemiT profile imageAUTHOR

      DemiT 

      3 years ago from Greece

      Thank you Larry Rankin! As a parent I like to educate myself about different ways to communicate with my child and at the same time, to pass that knowledge to others.

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 

      3 years ago from Oklahoma

      Any ideas that can help us communicate with our kids are good ideas.

      Useful hub.

    • DemiT profile imageAUTHOR

      DemiT 

      4 years ago from Greece

      You are so right Denise. I only have one child but I make sure to listen to and attend her needs. Unfortunately, it is very easy to get caught up in your own little world that you have to remind yourself constantly to be present for your child.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Every child has a good side and a bad side, just as every parent does. When we take our good side and spend time with our children one on one, it is amazing how much better they act! They want so much to please us and spend time with us. When our children were young, I spent one on one time with each helping them get dressed, make their bed, and brush their teeth. Once that was done, they would play nicely while I did a few things of my own.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)