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Why the Best Parents for Only Children are Only Children Themselves

Updated on December 26, 2012
Only child parents understand the mechanisms of the only child better than parents who grew up with siblings who tend to inflict their sibling psychology onto their only child.
Only child parents understand the mechanisms of the only child better than parents who grew up with siblings who tend to inflict their sibling psychology onto their only child. | Source

The Only Parents Who Can Most Effectively Raise Only Children Were Only Children Themselves

One-child families are on the increase today. It is estimated that 20% of families today consist of only children. Studies have shown that only children have higher self-esteem and self-confidence than children raised with siblings. In fact, only children have the highest self-esteem and self-confidence of all birth orders because they received the undivided, highly individualized attention of their children and this made them feel very special.

Only children were allowed to be themselves and achieve their ultlimate human potential as they were neither compared to siblings nor pigeonholed in roles as siblings are. Only children often have the undivided attention of their parents and do not have to compete with siblings for parental attention and family resources.

Only children are often the most independent and creative of all birth orders. Because only children have no siblings, they focus their creative energy into hobbies such as reading and writing. Some of the most creative actors and comedians (includes both male and female) are only children. This creativity stems from being able to have inventive play and to keep oneself entertained.

Natalie Portman attributed her career success to being an only child. Ms. Portman further stated that she was the star in her family and she could not be an actress if she was part of a multichild family because her parents could not give her as much attention. Only children are masters at self-entertainment so they know how to keep themselves occupied for hours on end.

It is nothing for an only child to content himself/herself from reading, writing, and sketching for hours on end. Only children are more self-reliant and more creative than children with siblings who are clearly not capable of being by themselves. Adrien Brody, Oscar winning actor of THE PIANIST, stated that in training for his role, he often had to stay in an apartment alone for long periods of time. He was very comfortable performing this role because he was an only child and only children are used to spending a lot of time alone. Only children also value themselves highly and are not afraid of being alone and trying new things. They often seek their own council and are not approval seekers in addition to not being as dependent as children with siblings are.

Because only children grow up in the company of adults and are not surrounded by children, they develop more adult-like mannerisms and a more advanced and adult vocabulary than children with siblings who often have more childish mannerisms and more rudimentary vocabularies. Parents of only children have the financial, economic, and emotional resources to devote to their child. The only child is more individualistic than children with siblings because individualism is often prized in one child families.

This is why parents who were only children are the best parents for an only child. Parents who were only children are very highly independent, acculturated, and individualized. They understand the uniqueness of being an only child as opposed to parents who grew up with siblings enforcing their sibling typology, psychology, and mores onto their only child. Parents who were only children appreciate and understand their only children and they do not attempt to put their baggage on them as parents who grew up with siblings do.

Parents who are only children possess an innate knowledge as how to make their only child feel special and unique. Only child parents are creative themselves and they know what steps to take to nurture the creativity of their only child. Parents who have siblings, on the other hand, try to raise their only child as simply another child. However, only children are not like other children, they are unique and individualized jewels. Parents who have siblings clearly have no inkling as to how to raise an only child.

The average person who have siblings have little or no exposure to only children. People who have siblings often have negative stereotypical notions of only children. People with siblings often characterize only children as egotistic, self-centered stars. They either have a profound dislike or an intense, irrational hatred of only children. People with siblings either do not or refuse to understand the world of the only child. The only child is viewed as a different species to people with siblings.

Parents who have siblings simply do not understand their only child. How can they? They were not only children and clearly do not understand the psychology of the only child. The average parent who have siblings do not know how to nurture the individualilty and creativity of the only child. They are constantly forcing their only child to participate in group activities when the only child is much more comfortable being alone and creating. Only children do not find it important to join group activities. Oftentimes, they find it intimidating, preferring to be alone with a book and/or some other type of solitary hobby.

Parents who have siblings are the devotees of group think, thinking and being in packs. The concept of being an individual is very foreign to parents who have siblings. This factor makes it extremely difficult for parents who came from multichild families to raise an only child. Parents from multichild families are not taught to think outside the box, they are taught to go along with the group and not appreciate their individuality. Only children who are raised by parents from multichild families are not taught to feel special, unique, or individualized but to be part of a group.

Parents who were only children, on the other hand, appreciate their children's uniqueness and individuality and encourage it. Only child parents do not teach their only children to conform to the standard but teach them to think creatively and to be different. Only child parents are also more sympathetic to their only children's concerns than their similiarly situated cohorts with siblings who have only children.

The average parent who grew up with sibilngs are not as sympathetic with and aware of their only children's unique concerns. They feel that their only children's concerns are often unimportant and just oversensiitvity. Parents from multichild families do not have the comprehension of what the world of an only child is, they can only relate to the only child from their siblinghood position.

Only child parents understand it when their only child plays alone. They do not panic and try to enroll the child into every play group like parents with siblings do when they see their only children playing alone. The average only child loves playing alone as he/she can be creative in their own world. Only children also love to indulge in solitary hobbies such as drawing, reading, and writing which the average child with siblings have no concept of. Some of the most creative children I know were only children. They knew how to stay put and entertain themselves and not get into other people's hair as children with siblings are likely to do.

Only child parents also are more likely to understand their only child's intellectual curiosity and are able to nurture it. Only child parents often grew up with books and educational materials in their homes. Prodigious intellectualism and advanced education are more stressed in one child families than it is in multichild families. Only children are taught to be unique whereas children with siblings are taught that they are nothing special and they are part of a group.

In summation, only child parents are the best parents to raise an only child because they know what it is like to be an only child. They have the skills and experience to nurture the individuality, uniqueness and creativity of their only child. Only child parents know how to make their only child feel special and appreciated which is something that parents from multichild families who have only children do not know how to do.


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    • gmwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @LR, the more siblings a child has, the more rudimentary he/she is. Goes without saying Small family environment value the higher human needs such as beauty and creativity more than large family environment where the main emphasis is on existing at the most basic, primitive level. Children in large families aren't taught to value cultural, educational, and intellectual activities like children in small families are. It is EXTREMELY rare to find a book and other intellectual forms of stimulation in a large family. Studies show that children from large families aren't as intellectually developed as children from small families.

    • gmwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      This is INDEED true. Only children are some of the most prodigious and creative children around. They are FREE to be. Children with siblings are oftentimes designated into roles which stay with them for life. Only children since they have no intrusive siblings are free to be themselves and to express their utmost human potential. Their parents also have more discretionary income for their child to participate in cultural, educational, and intellectual activities. The more siblings a child has, the less monies for such activities. Children w/ siblings aren't exposed to cultural and intellectual activities like only children and a child with 1 sibling are. Thank you for stopping by and adding to the discussion.

      Also only children are BETTER adjusted and more resourceful than those with siblings.

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Most creative types often have little to no siblings. It's true, especially the artists and designers.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I found this article highly biased. You wrote that "Some of the most creative actors and comedians ... are only children ... able to have inventive play and to keep oneself entertained." Of course SOME of them are, you also wrote that 20% of families are made of only children.

      I think this would benefit from some reputable scientific statistics to back this up.

    • G.L.A. profile image

      Geri Anderson 

      7 years ago from Arizona

      Intertesting & insightful hub.. and comment. I agree with both, since I am a grandparent, (5 siblings of my own), raised 3 children, and am helping to raise an 'only child' granddaughter. You are right! is often difficult to relate to this 9 year-old child/adult!, can you offer another hub, with tips for those like me, who are doing our best to successfully raise an only child? I believe the future will see many more 'only children' being raised by people like me. We have no experience, but want desperately to do right by these terrific little 'soles'.. vote up

    • gmwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      7 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Ti mommyloves2write: Family does not necessarily have to mean blood relatives. Very close friends can fit this description. I know of blood uncles and aunts who are not close to their nieces and/or nephews. Family means people who are close and love each other. Friends can fit the bill of family.

      There is nothing wrong with being an only child. Society dictates maintained that children ought to have a sibling. This is such an outmoded idea which has no place in the 21st century. Studies show that only children are the happiest as there are no siblings to contend with and to compete with parental attention.

      As I have said only children make the best parents of only children because they know firsthand of what it is like to be an only child. Parents who have sibings have little or no clue as to how to raise an only child. Only children are special and people with siblings do not or fail to realize this.

      Not everyone has siblings! Hello! Only children are happy and lead fulfilling lives. Wake up!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Interesting theory. I know many people with only children, but none of them were only children by choice.

      If only children raise only children, there is a big loss of family, as there are no aunts and uncles (unless one "adopts" close friends for these roles).

      I also know only children who made sure that they were not parents of only children. They did not like having to make all of the decisions about their parents on their own.

    • profile image

      Helpful Hanna 

      7 years ago

      Interesting thoughts.


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