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Will I Effect My Child

Updated on January 4, 2011

From the first touch

From the first touch we effect our children
From the first touch we effect our children

What defines my child's behavior?

What defines my child's outcome and where does it begin? It begins as early as conception. Taking drugs including prescription drugs, smoking, drinking and depriving one's body of the proper nutrition will effect a child's development. But it doesn't stop there. There are many other factor's in a child's development even after birth and many don't take notice or take them serious.

Emotional issues in relationships contributes to a child's development. In fact, the standards we set in our lives effects our children. Children brains soak everything up. You may not think their listening/perceiving or seeing whats going on around them, but they are fully aware. They sense everything. So what effects does my bad behavior have on my children?

The fact is....your behavior effects your children. Your attitudes, your responses, your moods, your temper, your instability will effect your child. In fact it will define who your child becomes and how well he/she manages in their life. After all they learned from you.

And how crucial is my behavior to my childs development? Very! We as parents influence our children everytimewe are in their presence. A child is aware of everything and misses nothing. So think twice before you act or act out.

There are numerous consequences that can arise from inappropriate behavior while in the presence of your children. They may not come to light in your children till their adult years, but they will surely arise. Opportunities your child may have had (if raised in a functional family) have been compromised. They don't do well in school ie; their education levels or they don't make friends as readily, all necessary and crucial in your child's development.

Dysfunction has a severe impact on children and It stems from emotional and/or physical abuse from the parents. A child can live in fear and feel hopeless, neglected, overwelmed, stressed, alienated, depressed and shamed and feeling unworthy while living with abuse and this will carry over into their adult lives because they have become accustomed to the dysfunction so anything "healthy" is confusing and seems out of sorts. Their relationships are compromised.They have developed fears, shame, anger, trust issues, anxiety and hopelessness. Depending on how dysfunctional a family is there can also be sexual dysfunction as well. Closeness and Intimacy can become an issue. After all, if your children perceive this in you then this has become their perception of it.

Stability is crucial to a child's development. Drugs and alcohol are a BIG NO NO while raising children. Anything that alters one's behavior is devastating to a child. Please take this into consideration if you are planning on having children. Don't introduce your child to this madness! Those days need to be gone if you want your child to have any kind of life. If you don't have a life, chances are your child won't either. What you are is what your child will become. It is crucial when starting a family. If you depend on drugs or alcohol to relieve your anxiety, chances are your child will too.

Your children will need structure and motivation and they will need your support. Children will not thrive without love, trust, faith and hope. They do not need resentment, anger and stress or the reprocussions of it. After all, don't you want to see your child to grow up healthy and have a good outlook on life? If you don't prepare yourselves with the tools for your child's development...who will? Your child will become what you instill in them...that is a fact! Outside influence will effect your child's stability. Their outcome depends on YOU!

It's crucial that children grow up in a healthy relationship. This will aid in who they become and how they manage life. If you can't manage your life, chances are your children will follow in your footsteps. Your children are a direct result of you. You are their role model. You set the standards, so be a good example for your children to follow. Let us become aware of the example we as parents are setting for them and the influence we will have on them.

If a child is to trust, they must first trust you. If a child is to love, they must first be loved. If a child is not to fear, they must first learn to live without it. If a child is to live.....they must first see hope. So please parents......Let us give our children the best we have to offer them. Let us be a good example~


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    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you JeanieR! We'd be surprised as to how important it is to stop the cycle right in it's tracks because it's critical to a childs development and happiness. I remember asking my father if he had been abused as a child (because of the abuse he instilled in our family) and he said he was. I don't know if he had the mentality to change the effects it had on him but oh how I wish he could have. If only he could have admitted it and said he was sorry maybe I could have healed to some degree. I understand the cycle but it's effects are still with me. Blessings to you!

    • JeanieR profile image


      7 years ago from Sequoia National Forest, CA

      Critically important theme you have here! Thank you for taking the time to develop it. Fine job. In reading it, one cannot help but wonder which problems slipped through in raising his/her own children, while problems passed on from one's own parents are too painfully evident.

    • no body profile image

      Robert E Smith 

      7 years ago from Rochester, New York

      Train up a child in the way he should go and even when he gets old he'll not depart from it. The reverse is true until God changes it with healing. Give adverse conditioning to a child and when they grow up they will carry that with them. I know my Lord can effect that healing but the pain is immense until we submit to the Lord and allow Him in to do that work in us. What a legacy we have a chance to build or destroy. Love you sister. Time (and God) Heals All.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      7 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA


      Thanks for sharing this timely hub. Your last paragraph summed it all up!--"If a child is to trust, they must first trust you. If a child is to love, they must first be loved. If a child is not to fear, they must first learn to live without it. If a child is to live.....they must first see hope.


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