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Toddlers Say The Funniest Things! Childrens Vocabulary checklist I Don't Give the Doctor

Updated on January 31, 2014

1. Shut Up!

My Response: What did you say? Toddler Response: Shhh!

I guess I have to give him points for context!

Isaac with his buddy Ronald

2. Mcdonalds!

In response to me asking my son if he would like Chicken and Broccoli... I countered with, “Mac and Cheese?” to which he proclaimed “Happy Meal” Guess who won?

3. Soccer Game!

Pretty much what he calls every sport he sees as we surf past ESPN to get to the Disney Channel... Often when telling him, “No honey that is football” he will refer to #1 above

4. Body

Apparently my wife and I had been watching too much of Fox’s show Bones because this is often said while my son points to a scratch or “scab” somewhere on his person. When corrected being told that it is not a BODY it is a Boo Boo, he says Booby!...not sure if this is progress or not…

5. Sh@T

Yes the one that rhymes with “knit”. When I responded by saying “dirty diapers” (a term my wife and I have used in place of the word “curse”), he simply said it again only more loudly and lengthier…of course followed by repeating it a few more times… Sh@T indeed!

6. Shut It!

At first I thought he learned this one from me from when I am trying to get my dogs to be quiet, I think now it might just be a combination of #1 and #5. There was no effective response to this one.

7. Buh, buh, buh, buh bum bum BUMMM!

Gleefully announced after we say “We are Farmers” from the insurance commercials.

8. I don't want Monkey EITHER!!!

The last in the series of stuffed animals being thrown from the toddler bed my wife and I were attempting to get ours to sleep in. Precluded by not wanting teddy bear, Oso, Nemo, Elmo, and Daddy....I am not sure what he is trying to say on that last one...

9: Nevermind

At first glance my son saying nevermind may seem like a good leap to the world of normal conversation for such a young child. However....My son usually says this in response to asking him if he needs to go potty, or to sit down at the table and finish his dinner, or its time for bed, or no we are not going to watch Caillou again.....If thou protest he may throw in a "go away daddy" or various forms of "shut up"

10: Grandpa!

Ok, so this may not seem particularly funny at first but the context in which my son said this is particularly humorous in my opinion. Isaac was playing with his money jar piggy bank, pulling out quarters and dollar bills and examining them quite thoroughly. All of a sudden he held up a dollar pointing at the picture of George Washington and proclaimed, GRANDPA! It took a minute for it to register but I then realized that he thought ole' Georgie, because of his white hair, looked just like my father in law! Of course the likeness isn't really that close but is funny nonetheless!

Arrrrgh!

A picture is a thousand words!

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    • rlaha profile image

      rlaha 5 years ago from Spartanburg, SC

      Haha! That is cute! Kids are so interesting because they pick up whatever they hear, and wherever they hear it. It is up to you how you handle it.

    • chiefmomofficer profile image

      chiefmomofficer 5 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hilarious! I can totally relate. I have a toddler who has started answering "awesome" every time I ask her "what do you think about that?" perhaps I need to rephrase my question to get a different answer :-) very funny hub.

    • alissaroberts profile image

      Alissa Roberts 5 years ago from Normandy, TN

      I think all parents should write a book of all the crazy things their kids say :) Enjoyed your hub! Made me laugh!

    • Peter Leeper profile image
      Author

      Peter Leeper 5 years ago from Londonderry, New Hampshire

      Thanks to all of you! The funny thing is that I am sure I am forgetting about 99% of other things he has said that make me laugh. I'll probably add to the list when I can remember.

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      My two year old grandson woke this morning to tell his mom "Mom-mom tina bitta cake pease, now?" He was told maybe after breakfast. He replied "No I wanna tina bitta cake FOR bekfest!"

      I told his mom that he better get his cake, I would have to drive the more than two hundred miles to her home and spank her butt for not giving into my grandson. For some reason she laughed at this and made him eat peanut butter toast and bananas before she would even think about the cake...lol

    • Ingenira profile image

      Ingenira 5 years ago

      LOL .... thanks for the laughs. 2 year old toddler can be so fun !

      Voted up and twitted.

    • parentsreview profile image

      parentsreview 5 years ago from Lansdowne, PA

      This is hilarious! I have a 2-year-old, as well, and #1 is used at least a dozen times per day in our house. This morning, after hearing the story Humpty Dumpty on TV, he kept saying Humpy Dumpy. I couldn't stop laughing. Great hub!

    • duffsmom profile image

      P. Thorpe Christiansen 5 years ago from Pacific Northwest, USA

      Oh it brought back memories, good ones of course.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      Imaginative way to work in your son's sayings, one cuter than the other. Your explanations make it even more humorous. Voted up.

    • Peter Leeper profile image
      Author

      Peter Leeper 4 years ago from Londonderry, New Hampshire

      Thanks tillsontitan! I apreciate it! I enjoy my son and it is a pleasure to share some of our more amusing moments!

    • Peter Leeper profile image
      Author

      Peter Leeper 4 years ago from Londonderry, New Hampshire

      Yes Duffsmom, I will surely always remember these years!

    • Peter Leeper profile image
      Author

      Peter Leeper 4 years ago from Londonderry, New Hampshire

      Ahh yes! The repeat everything we say stage. It is quite funny although I try not to laugh when he says things that sound like common swear words...i.e. he likes to say Truck and Ship alot...funny stuff!

    • Peter Leeper profile image
      Author

      Peter Leeper 4 years ago from Londonderry, New Hampshire

      Thanks for the Vote and the Tweet Ingenira! I am glad you liked the article!

    • Peter Leeper profile image
      Author

      Peter Leeper 4 years ago from Londonderry, New Hampshire

      Nice justateacher! I must confess that there have been many times my son has asked for junk food for breakfast...or breakfast for lunch, or junk food for...well any time really...it is hard not to give in sometimes!

    • Peter Leeper profile image
      Author

      Peter Leeper 4 years ago from Londonderry, New Hampshire

      Thank you Alissaroberts! I think if we all had photographic memories we could all write a novel on some of our experiences with our kids!

    • Peter Leeper profile image
      Author

      Peter Leeper 4 years ago from Londonderry, New Hampshire

      Thanks chiefmomofficer! I love the handle you use too! Recently my son has learned the phrase "I don't know" which he has been using when he doesn't want to be bothered with all of our questions...good times!

    • Peter Leeper profile image
      Author

      Peter Leeper 4 years ago from Londonderry, New Hampshire

      I am glad you enjoyed raha!

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