- Family and Parenting»
Friends Sleeping Over? Give Them a Brush.
“My friends colour my world.” –coffeegginmyrice
Your teens and adolescents when they get together with their friends at home, what do they exactly do? Are they limited to video games when two are enjoying a fun fight not to mention the on and off use of the not-so-fair ‘f’ word because he got me cornered and killed me, “Urgh! F***! Why did you do that?” That’s when the letter F becomes really dirty as dirty as the D in dirty because he is losing. And how about the other two? Where are they? What are they doing? Oh, Youtubing with every second punching on their cellphone keyboards texting everyone in every moment, every second remaining hours of the day. These kids, they can actually “do” more than two things at the same time.
Wholesome activities amongst your child’s visitors are not limited to the only ‘equally’ same things they do at their own homes. A kid host acts as the leader because he or she is the one who invited some friends over. Your kid plans or may not plan ahead but thinks of much better things to do to keep friends entertained. The happy group do at times prepare quick snacks in the kitchen, or say, request through mom to cook something. Mom will really appreciate it if a request is made ahead; ahh something like “I’ll text Mom if there is food.” But if your kid is texting you while they are already on their way taking the subway isn’t really being considerate to mom. “Mom, what’s for dinner?” “I have not decided yet, Sweetheart.” “Mom, my friends are coming and we are hungry!” “WHAT?? Go to McDonald’s!” “Mom, we don’t have any money.” “You should tell me ahead, at least I could prepare something.” “Mom, just cook ANYTHING.” “Yeah, that’s easy for you to say.” Then, your child turns around to tell her friends all seated right next to each other on the train the good news keeping her phone opened so you can hear every single word she tells them…“I told you guys, my mom can always make something!”
Arriving home, everyone greets you in the kitchen in your little white apron and you cheerfully greet them back trying not to fake a smile, anyways, it is better off to have them in your home than being somewhere outside and you have no clue what they will be doing. Then the kid host will say, “Hey guys, what you feel like doing?” There will be voices loud and deep and high pitched ones, screaming, laughing and teasing just so similar to a bustling city with crowds and traffic all synchronizing. Your kid thinks to entertain productively, so she pulls out a board game. “How ‘bout we’ll all play the Rail Baron,” she exclaims. To your relief that the board game will give you ample time to do magic in the kitchen, your child is but equally fascinated and successful with her enthusiasm to get her friends to agree with her. Sometimes, it could be a game or two of different table games. That’s really good because they could all together be at one area in your home having fun. With all the mix chuckles ‘round the dining table, someone says “Umm, your mom is cooking somethin’ good!” And that quote made you smile for a moment.
When they were all gone after goodbyes meant “we had so much fun but it’s time to go”, the house seemed suddenly emptied. Traffic and honking stopped and it became a quiet night at half past eleven.
Friends went home in pairs (mostly are in love relationships within their circle of friends) so you kind of not worry about them leaving late. Peace took over and only the chore of clinking and clanking of plates and water rushing is what your eardrums absorbed. Your child however comes to you and says, “Thank you, Mom! I love you.” And she continues, “Mom, you know what? I have an idea!” “Like what?” You are probably thinking if you want to hear about it or not. “Each friend that comes to my house, I will let them paint on a canvas. The canvas and paints are cheap anyways and I’ll get them from Dollarama, and I can decorate my bedroom wall with their drawings as keepsakes from my friends.” “That’s a great idea!” “So, you like the idea, Mom?” “Of course.” “Now, do you have ten bucks?” ≈♥≈
Board Games You'll Kill Time With
Getting to Know Your Child’s Friends
Amazing enough that if you are a happy parent, kind, understanding, loving and welcoming, your child will not shun on bringing their friends over. If you can cook, that’s an added bonus for you! Let’s face it; so little do we know what your child is doing, where your child is at this hour and who your child is with.
Accept the fact that the more we know who our child’s friends are, the more they talk about them to you, share information though not completely, shows excitement of a coming activity like the outdoors, borrows money from you, and asks for your suggestions (though not a normal thing), this all mean that your child is proud of you and trusts you (forget about the constant complaints and blah blah blah that we parents are annoying).
Brilliant Table Games
5 Ways to Know Who Your Child’s Friends Are and How to Meet Them
As parents, it is our duty to show that we always care for our children. In regards to their circle of friends, see to it that you do the following –
1. The Invitation. Ask your child to invite his/her friends over.
2. The Food Bounty. Offer to provide them nourishments. Food brings them together not just outside but also at home.
3. The Sleepover. Don’t refuse your child if “sleeping over” with or for friends is brought up. Honestly, if my child is at her best friend’s house and it is getting late for her to come home, a sleep over will keep her safe and you will too will have a good night’s rest.
4. The Exclusion. Parents can ever be annoying to them, so give them some home privacy to mingle alone as a group without a parent conversing with them every minute. This will give your child no second thoughts to ponder upon because he/she feels that it is definitely fine to bring friends over. Your child thinks- "my parents won’t embarrass my friends". Banish yourself within your home.
5. The SOS Call or The MSU Call (Mom Save Us). Be around when you’re needed. Don’t just stay away to full extent especially when your child calls on you: “Mom, can you help us with this?” “Mom, can you take the dog out, he needs to pee, pleasseee. I’m with my friends.” “Mom, can you make something? We’re hungry. Can you make wonton soup?” “Mom, do we have extra toothbrushes?” “Mom, can we borrow your movies? I will return them where I got them.” (But they never get back to the shelf, not right after.) “Mom, are you cooking wonton soup?” “Mom, can you please lock the door? We are just going out for a walk and we’ll be back soon.” And then after a quiet lone time with yourself, a text message comes in your mobile phone, “Mom, can you open the door?” ≈♥≈
Don't Allow Your Kids to Get Lost In Their Shoes
Loving and Understanding Your Kid
“E.T. phone home.” – a famous line in the 1982 film “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial”.
What parent would desire their child to end up like the cute little wrinkly Extra-Terrestrial helplessly needing to call home? Not one parent. We are constantly worried about their safety. Well, I am. I worry too much, that’s what my girls tell me.
The oppositional behaviour of teens at the early stage of adolescence where they become rebellious, stubborn, inconsiderate, a 'know-it-all' attitude and many times resistant sending both parents into an argument, a single parent into getting a professional advice, your kid running away from home, best friends covering for them, your tears and prayers are closer to over (worries will never go away) have reached to develop a better physical, emotional and social changes in their lives and you. I am thankful that one of my daughters is now 22 and could help me look after her high school younger sister, even giving her advices. I have developed and built the 'trust' as well for my daughters now that they have shown me more responsible achievements in their social life as well as being intellectually independent.
5 ‘Common-Sense’ Tips
(Every family should encourage their kids not to leave home without leaving you ‘the’ necessary information.)
1. The Lifeline List. Keep a list of your children’s friends contact numbers. Teens will understand how important it is if you can with much care and carefully explain it to them. Then, you will be pleased that they will give you the information you need without exerting much effort in obtaining these lifelines. I would normally include both: home and mobile numbers
2. The List in Safe Places. Store the contact numbers in your mobile phone, in your computer, or where it could be easily be handy like the other side of the kitchen fridge. Keep the numbers a little hidden; you don’t want them too exposed to your own visitors or repair people because remember, these are kids’ numbers.
3. The Calling. If you are trying to reach for your child and can’t get any instant reply, try and try again. Avoid reaching their friends because this will just put your child in an embarrassment situation, except when the “regular home and reporting hours” have lapsed and you are desperate to reach your child. I had a couple of desperate moments reaching my younger daughter working until midnight at the Exhibition Place fair grounds. My heart was racing with my thoughts. God, I cried at my doorstep, sitting in the dark, clutching my cellphone praying for her to check into her mobile messages. Finally, by nearly 2 a.m., I had the guts to reach one of her young managers who run the entertainment and game booths at the fair. She found out that my daughter was done work at 11:30 having been working at one of the kiddie game booths that closed an hour early than the adult booths. Her manager helped me call the friends she knew she was with. Knowing the time my teen girl was done with work got me more worried. Finally, she text messaged me that she is on the subway and on her way home with company coming home to the same direction as her, and briefly explained that she waited for her other friends who finished later at midnight.
As my daughters 22 and 16 would warn me- “Mom, I’ll give you a list BUT don’t call my friends, only when you REALLY need to.” “Got it,” I accepted the deal. “So, keep me posted always,” I added.
4. The Acquiring of Your Teen to Volunteer. My 16 year old openly shared to me her write-on/wipe-out white stick-ons on her bedroom wall just behind the door. She said, “Mom, look here, these are all the names of my friend’s crushes. All 69 of them!” Why, the names filled up the calendar spaces and boy names numbering from 32 down to 69 filled up half of the second stick-on right below the calendar. Then, she pointed out to me, “Here is a space where I will write on my agenda, so Mom, you will know where I am and who I am with.” I said, “Okay, that’s good and put their numbers down each time.” She was quick to reply, “Mom, that’s too much. I already gave you a list. You just have to match them from my memo.” “Oh yeah, sorry, you’re right, Mommy wasn’t thinking,” giving her a silly-mommy-smile and a kiss.
5. The Meaning of BBM (in case if you're like me.) If you ever have to reach one or a few of their friends, introduce yourself and be always polite with them and ask for help to reach your child for you. Ask them to send your message along to give you a call (obviously if your child is not with them). With Blackberries Messenger, their phones are always busy BBM(ing) each other. It’s guaranteed you will get your message across only between these Blackberry devices. So it’s faster than a Facebook message with which they can quickly retrieve so keep it in mind, but still just include leaving a message on Facebook.
Actually, my 22 year old daughter said once--
Mobile lesson #1: I phoned her asking to help me reach her younger sister and find her. Then, she came back with a reply of relief to me. “Mom, don’t worry. I got her. She is with so and so.” I explained to her, “How did you get a reply that quick? I even left your sis an FB message and multiple text messages. There were no answers.” She said, “Mom, I reached Prescylla since I saw her online on Facebook and messaged to locate her. They have BBMs. They’re ALWAYS on BBM.” When they are chatting on BBM, they normally ignore their Facebook messages even visit Facebook lesser and lesser.
Mobile lesson #2: “Okay, that’s really great. Thank you, Sweetheart,” I said with a big sigh of relief let out of my chest. “But, what is BBM? Sounds like LBM? Lol!” I was too ignorant about this. “Geez Mom, BBM stands for BlackBerry Messenger just like Yahoo Messenger, but they are using their BlackBerries. It’s a phone application where they can chat with each other,” she helpfully gave me this second lesson with her eyes rolling up.
≈♥≈ ©coffeegginmyrice 06.09.2012
Sharing other links to my hubs on Teen Parenting and my growing up...
- What Kids Say to Their Moms
Kids have always something back to say to their parents. Most often times, our growing kids find us annoying. Could the annoying word "annoying" be only often times? Perhaps to them, it's ALL of the time. Enjoy the hub!
- Teen Sex Life and its Effects
Worried about our growing teens in welcoming young and tender love into their lives? Little do our children know that early sexual activities in teens affects their mind and body.
- An Open Letter: "Dearest Mama"
Being far away from home especially on Mother's Day, I miss my ma the most. This hub is an open letter for my ma but to be shared to the world to let her know that I miss her so much and loving her from the other side of the globe! ♥
- An Open Letter: "Dearest Papa"
I like to share an open letter to my pa on Father's Day. It's rather long but I do not feel the need to divide the writing. Happy Father's Day!