ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Your Parents: What was the worse thing they did to you?

Updated on December 4, 2010

Hindsight is 20\20 vision. If only one could see into the future, to see outcomes of decisions, think of the benefit!

Being a parent is the best and worse job and you do not know until you are in that role. Wannabe parents have theories about how to handle situations, things to avoid that their parents fell into that harmed their kids, you have an idealistic view of parenting. Being a parent is the ultimate 24\7 gig for basically the rest of your adult life, it is most intense for the first 18 yrs, however.

Parents come in all shapes and sizes, differ from gender and the era they were raised in, which heavily influences how they are parents themselves. Your parents backgrounds and how they related to their parents also heavily come into play.

My parents reflect an interesting mix. My dad never had a father, raised by an overbearing, demanding mother. He had to work for everything. Spent 28 yrs in the Army as an officer. My mom, came from a normal Canadian family but had an alcoholic father she despised.

Like all new parents, the sought to avoid the mistakes their own parents made (from their perspective) and yet, they fell victim to many of the same mistakes their parents had.

The worse thing my Dad to me for many years until age 10, were, spankings with a belt. These were not simple affairs of a couple of whacks, usually it was aggravated by my own attempts to escape usually on the bed or closet. Spankings occurred whenever I did not follow orders of Dad. My older brother seemed to avoid all this pain, which in teenage years created a great divide. Mom was my refuge. She was nurturing, love, usually took my side and defended me or actions. She never resorted to hitting. She would yell, sometimes. Her worse thing was smoking Pall Malls, a pack a day. She could manipulate people fairly well when she needed cooperation.

As boys, we complied with our Dad until Jr. High and HS. It was then my Dad realized that his "chickens were home to roost" from the parental actions of the previous 10 years. Our house during those years resulted in heavy arguments about he expected of me and what I refused to do. I knew he could do little, short of hitting me, which he never did. The usual issues then were over my long hair, which he hated, my clothes, which he disliked, my grades, which lacked for not trying, coming home late at night. His expectations of me were not my own, yet, he continued to pressure me.

Myself, I grew to dislike my Dad alot. I resented him for the spankings. Actually, I hated him for them. After the teenage years, the damage was done. Ingrained in my psyche. My brother had a much better relationship with him than I. We only could have small talk. I was, even as an adult, uneasy around him. The old wounds and feelings could easily come to the surface again with one wrong word. He seemed to know this. As a parent, he knew he had failed in some respects. I am sure he regretted it. But, he never said he was sorry or that he was proud of me or told me he loved me. 

I guess that was Mom's job. A job she did very well!


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • perrya profile imageAUTHOR

      perrya 

      7 years ago

      well, so did my brother and I. My dad was the great provider of material things, my mom, the provider of emotional love. My Dad simply was unable to convey it except via material things, which was not enough.

    • vrajavala profile image

      vrajavala 

      7 years ago from Port St. Lucie

      I had great parents, and 8 other siblings. they never raised a hand to any of us.

      Most of us turned out pretty well.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)