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To have a child.. And to not..

Updated on June 23, 2017

I thought the day i got married would be the most important day of my life but i was wrong.. It wasn't.. The day I became a mom was definitely very enriching and life changing experience.. I was in horrible pain during the labor for 24 hrs and i thought i would die that day but when i received my daughter in my arms for the first time.. I totally forgot what I went through. The most cherished and unforgettable moment for any of the women in the world. To feed her,to clean her, to spend sleepless nights with her though i myself was going through a lot of distress, to see her first smile and her first moments brought about 360degree angle change in my life.. My life was now never same again.. To sleep throughout night was the biggest blessing after she turned 3 months. Then i left

for KSA to join my husband.For the first time in my life i had to be responsible. I had to take care of her and the house which i did happily because i was done living with my in laws and their tantrums.

I had troublesome days in my marriage initially. My husband left for his job abroad after 1 months of his leave. I was manipulated by my inlaws which I had no idea of. My husband was totally different from what i expected of a man and his habits and beliefs were alien to me. To be more clear his religious beliefs were different, he was not a foodie, didn't like outings at least with me, watching t. V was his favorite pass time, wasn't emotional and didn't express himself, didn't like tea!,didn't had any hobbies and more over he abused me verbally when ever he could. Now i am totally different from him.. I was romantic (everything is dead now) foodie, loved tea, loved eating out, was talkative expressed my heart blah blah.. In short there was not common between us not even tea! Many times we argued and it reached till the point of divorce.. I was disappointed with this man but divorce? Now i was a mother..

Now that 3 years have passed by things have changed.. Though he is almost the same but i have mended my ways. Now he drinks tea.. And sometimes we do strike a conversation. 90% of the time we talk its about our daughter.. To see her grow each day is most blissful for us. My daughter loves him very much.. Now i laugh on the days i thought about divorce.. My small family is my world and i want us to be together for the rest of our lives. I often think about those couples who are childless.. About women who due to some or the other reasons were not being able to become a mom.. I feel being a mom definitely completes a woman and strengthens marriage. The man loves his wife more when she's the mother of his children and same goes with woman. And they have more to share together like dreams, responsibilities, relationships, hopes etc. But when you're not a parent world doesn't end there. I believe you are in same boat whether or not you are successful, whether you have achieved something or u haven't. Despite being a mom i feel emptiness in me.. I miss my mom and relatives, we were very close. I am living here because my husband doesn't have good job opportunities in our hometown. If a woman doesn't have children there's a lot she can do.. She can take up hobbies, work full-time job without any guilt, travel the world without thinking twice and more.. I know when you have facilities you can do all this as a mother too but it's a lot different when you have kids and when you dont. Moreover she doesn't have to through the labor pain and the difficult days of new mom and a new born.. Mostly 0-3 months.. Even if you have the most supportive family those months are difficult.. And most women in this world after being a mum live their lives for their children.. Every thing they schedule they do according to their child's schedule.. They cannot save now.. In fact are always out of cash.. They are constantly worried about their child's health, education, growth etc.. So am i.. I mean we forget to live for ourselves after being a mom.. And do we have a choice.. Being the emotional gender...


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