If you were giving a child up for adoption is it in the best interest of the child to go to a relative or to someone unrelated to you? As frustrating as this answer may sound, it does depend on the family and their situation. What is right for one child, or one parent for that matter, may not be right for another. I have been on both ends of the situation, and had them both turn out to be in my best interest.
So many factors come into play when considering giving up a child for adoption. The stability of the biological parent for one. If you find yourself looking at your individual circumstance and deciding that perhaps having a relative take the child is the best way to go, consider the following.
Do you have what it takes to watch that child being raised by someone other than yourself? The kind of stability to have a broken heart. Are you prepared for questions that may be asked in the future about where the child comes from? Could there be potential family arguments about the way the child is raised and cared for down the line?
As wonderful as it is to have that child still in your life, it is ten times as heartbreaking to know that it is someone else who is caring for a baby you carried for nine months. It's worth it, however, if you realize that being a parent is suffering, however silently, for the well being of your offspring. It may be that a good foster home is not available, and this is just a better choice.
Sometimes the opposite is true. There may be an amazing home out there, and you just need to let go. Or even foster care, because the alternative is that a relative, even though it is family, just isn't stable. Or they just aren't able to care for the child the way that child deserves. I am a product of the system. My mother could no longer keep her children. Of the six of us, I am the only one to be adopted. My five siblings went with our relatives. As a result, they are all having very troubled lives. This had to do with circumstance. I was better off elsewhere.
It is just about personal situations and what you believe the heart can handle. Trust your parental instincts. Even if you aren't quite a parent yet, you have them.
I believe at the end of the day, we all know what's best for our children. It's just a matter of if we decide to do what's best for them, or for ourselves. Many of us pretend our selfish acts are for our children. They aren't. Trust your judgment. There are no wrong families.