Spanking is a form of discipline, but it often comes when the parents or adult is so angry, he or she is unable to do it with love.
The child has already passed the boundary of obedience, and the last resort is the spank, which then ends up being a beating.
Spanking should happen when a child defies his parents or other authority, lies, steals, maliciously hurts another child or defenseless person. The child should know that a spanking will be administered for these actions, and should expect it.
Usually, the parent should stop and have a quick discussion with the child before the spank, if the child is old enough to understand, otherwise, the spank comes quickly after the action.
Usually, the child cries, and this is a good time for a hug.
Sometimes, the child is even more defiant, then he or she needs to be left alone for a period of time, long enough for time to think, and in a place where there are no distractions. Mom's chair in the livingroom, for example.
After a good amount of time passes, the parent needs to bring up the question - why do you think I spanked you? and then he or she needs to explain if the child is not able to express an answer.
I tend to spank once or twice, hard, and with a spanking stick.
A little bruise or stripe will not last long. But the lesson learned will stay with him or her for a long time.
And will say, I love you so much, I am going to give you a way for you to remember this all your life.