I know a 13 year old girl who's father spanked her with a belt for making her step-mother angry, and then told her that every time that the step-mother informed him that the girl had made her mad, he was going to do it again.
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Spanking should never leave a mark on a child. It would take a big whack for to leave a mark, and if that's the case then it is being used inappropriately and the parent should offer the child an apology.
It will be VERY COUNTER-productive and induce much anger. I know, as I treated such children for over 25 years as a Psychotherapist and Marriage & Family Therapist. Spanking shows lack of good parenting skills.
Dr. Ross Campbell is a VERY reputable psychologist that works primarily with children and in his book "How to Really Love Your Child" he gives very good advice about corporal punishment and when it "should" be used--if used.
You hit a very good point! Before issuing the discipline, a parent has to step back and ask himself, "what does my child NEED?" We must convey love to a child through eye and physical contact, and focused attention before we turn to discipline.
Very well said.
Spankings, when used appropriately, do not teach your child violence as it is an act of ANGER and a spanking should NEVER be issued if the parent is angry with the child. Before ANY punishment is issued, a parent should evaluate what the child needs.
I could not disagree with you more. I never spanked my six children and they are FAR from "undisciplined and disrespectful." All are very mature, productive citizens with good jobs, and show respect to all. A parent who inflicts pain lacks skills.
I don't think all kids need spankings. And I know plenty of self-LESS,respectful, disciplined adults that were not spanked as a child. It's just a matter of finding a discipline regimen that works best for each individual child.
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The only problem I see with this approach is toddlers do not understand an deep discussions. Spanking should be used to get the child's attention, not to inflict pain. Therefore, it is essential that a parent is not angry when issuing a spanking.
The question was about a teenager, not a toddler, and that is the question I answered. I raised six children and they all have grown up to be responsible adults. None were spanked.
Well,you were the one that said "a child any age".But good for you.I have found that spanking my children was unaffective for discipline,so I do not issue it,but I know parents that do and their kids turned out to be happy,healthy,well-rounded people
I always got my children's attention by sitting them down, face-to-face with me, and addressing the infraction. This worked even when they were toddlers, as I kept the dialogue appropriately geared to their level of understanding. Spanking = pain.
My aunt used spankings in her discipline and my cousins have grown into upstanding adults who have good relationships with my aunt and are wonderful parents to their children. It's not a bad form of discipline. Just different than what you used.