Dexter....I will speak to the loss of a loved one, since in my life, there have been far too many. Having said this, the reality is, each loss is it's own devastation and each, alters your life, in a multitude of ways.
There is a belief that there are "stages" one must go through. Quite true, but again, every individual travels this dark road in their own time and in the order that these stages seem to consume us, when we are least able to protect ourselves.
Be as kind, gentle and patient with yourself, as you would be when consoling a friend......for being a friend to yourself during these trying times is most vital.
When you feel the deep sadness, anger or sense of despair, allow yourself to feel these shattering emotions, knowing they are natural, understandable reactions to the pain that has been inflicted upon you. Shedding tears is therapuetic.
Tell yourself that "this too, shall pass....." and your heart will begin to mend, ever so slowly and with each day, inner strength struggles to be re-built and tiny rays of hope start to appear. Keep your loved one alive in your memory and entertain the happiest of times you shared....the sound of their laughter and the gifts of love you gave and received. For every tear.. allow a smile....for every lonely moment, surround yourself with family, friends & indulge yourself in that which comforts you. When you are tired, sleep......Angry? Scream......and when you are happy, laugh. Be true to yourself and restrain no feelings......do not hide from your fears...face them and teach yourself to stand up against that which hurts you.
Dexter, my dear friend.....without writing a book, this is what I can tell you. It is not easy nor does it come quickly.....but there truly ARE better, brighter days ahead. You deserve it and your loved one WANTS this for you...........Peace, Paula