I know that my parents were as much of a victim from their parents ( they were severely abused too) as I was from them. I was very aware of this since I was little. instead of hating them I learned to have compassion for the child in them that never received love in their own life.
For instance, when my mother used to burn me with her cigarettes , her mother used to burn her with an iron. When she would loose control and beat me to the point of unconsciousness, her mother tried to kill her. And there is no one in the world that hates her parents more than my mom. So I decided, that in order to break the cycle of pain and violence I had to start with true forgiveness and ultimate compassion.
I see them the way their parents never could, in need of love. I see the as they are, flawed human beings. Two people that did not knew any better. I love my mother and I weep for her, because she still hates her mother and is killing her soul. My father had a similar situation, and he is emotionally dead. That's why I wont judge him no more.I don't want to end up like that, dead inside. Blessings.