How do you deal with in-laws who don't respect your authority as the parent?

1. 61

   Sonya L Morleyposted 12 years ago

   How do you deal with in-laws who don't respect your authority as the parent?

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2. 72

   radhikasreeposted 12 years ago

   Such in-laws are really very difficult to handle.  If they are educated, atleast you can try to convince them that like them, you also've the power in taking care of your children. Polite talking and counseling are the only ways to make them respect you.
   
   If they are uneducated, the problem is worse. I think silence is the best way to avoid any fights.

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3. 76

   Mardiposted 12 years ago

   As the parent you have control over who is or is not around your kids. I would recommend that if the in-laws are destructive you politely talk to them as radhikasree says and let them know the rules they have to play by when they are with the children. If they choose not to then they don't have contact with the kids unless you are around to supervise. I get this issue a lot when I work with families of divorce where the in-laws are bitter at the person they see is the "cause" of the divorce.

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4. 61

   Sonya L Morleyposted 12 years ago

   Thank you both so much for your helpful advice, I appreciate it.

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5. 67

   onegoodwomanposted 12 years ago

   I would personally, have no beef, with setting them aside.
   
   Grandparents are welcome, gifts and treats are welcome.............
   
   
   
   UNDERMINING my parental authorithy and responsiblitly......................UNWELCOME
   
   
   Unless, YOU, are willing to stand in my "hot seat"..........back yourself down.
   
   
   Your " role" is a 'supportive' one............
   
   Play that, or do not play at all.

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6. 0

   paxwillposted 12 years ago

   Limit their interaction with your children.  The price of access to their grandchildren is respect toward you.

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7. 61

   klayneposted 12 years ago

   I had this problem with my mother-in-law as well. She was a fairly difficult person to deal with, but basically I put my foot down. Even at the risk of being "the bad guy" to my daughter i calmly but sternly said no. Away from my daughter, my husban and I calmly confronted her and let her know that while we appreciate her experience and advice, ultimately she is our child and we will set the rules and boundaries. My mother-in law was offended an upset for a short period of time, but she got over it and seems to be careful of asking my opinion or permission now. I think it helped alot to have my husband enter the discussion with me. You can't look like the lone wife just looking to stir up trouble that way. Good luck!

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