This is something I thought I would never have to deal with, but I am. I'm just really glad that my daughter came to me for help. I have had both of my daughters on birth control since they were 15 years old. We have always talked openly about this, simply because my mother and I never did. I had 2 sisters become pregnant before they turned 16 and watched them suffer in many areas of their lives. They were both made to get married, as did my own mother at 16. I am guilty of a lot of things, especially allowing the boyfriends to visit, and even spend the night before. I won't go into my exact reasons for all of that right now as I am currently writing a hub about it all. Just know that they DID NOT SLEEP TOGETHER. My girls slept in my room that night.
When my own mother got upset and blamed me for it all, telling the entire family it was my own fault for letting the boys hang around, I had a huge question for her, after I blew up at her first.
I simply let her know how I felt about her blaming, and asked her "were you letting such and such stay here when my two sisters got pregnant"? It took her a moment, but she got it. It doesn't matter, because if it was going to happen, it just was.
I talk to my girls, and I also warned them that their birth control would not work while they were on antibiotics, and to use extra protection should they decide to do anything.
In the case of my daughter, I kind of blame the boyfriend because he "didn't want to wear a condom". Well guess what? Your life is going to be livng hell from here on out.
Yeah, my daughter could have said no, but I was a teen once too. I remember that first time and how hard it was to make that decision.
My first grandchild is due Dec. 29, 2009. Because of my health, I have totally allowed myself to become excited. I have been fighting for my life since the age of 13, I'm now 44. I am on a waiting list for a kidney transplant, so I never know from one day to the next how long I will be here.
My daughter has decided to stay home, which is what I want too. I want to be here so she can finish her last 6 mo. of school, graduate, and go onto become an EMT as she has dreamed. I don't want to watch her suffer like my 2 sisters did because of this mistake. Her best interest, and that of the babies are all I am concerned about. I will not punish her. What good will it do? All you can do is hope that they learn from their mistakes as the most of us have.