This is my real answer... No Bad Dog, a book about dog training. When I adopted my dog, Io, she was almost 2 and had been in a no kill shelter for her entire life. She had no clue how to be a pet, and I was at a loss about training her. I read No Bad Dog and learned that she needed a purpose, a job. I spent time training her to bark when the phone rang, howl when someone walked by my home and police my cats (two boys used to fight). As soon as she realized she was a 'working' dog and had a purpose, she adjusted to being a pet. She was the best dog I've ever owned (may she rest in peace). How did this help me with my son? I made lists of tasks or jobs for him as soon as he was old enough to understand symbols and simple words. I made him feel important with respect to his 'jobs' like put shoes in closet and wash hands. As he got older, I would give him 'jobs' when he got upset or angry; for example, 'please put these books in your room' or 'please put this garbage in the garbage can." This always calmed him down. Then there is the daily 'love mom hug' that is still his job: 10 minutes of hugging necessary for mom's sanity. I know this sounds crazy, but giving him jobs has made him feel like a partner in our household and a contributor to our good lives.