That is the quintessential question - why did you give me up? Inside of the question, we want the story of how we came to be, the story that everyone else has about where they came from and who they came from. I think, we're also asking, "What went wrong?" Before asking why you gave me up, most adoptees that I know and have worked with don't even know if their birth parents are still living. It's complicated to imagine a conversation with someone who might have passed away.