I don't believe in punishment, and it is not true that you spare the rod and spoil the child.
You can never love a child too much.
On the other hand, you have to teach them responsibility so that they will be able to take care of themselves. That is actually the most challenging part. Balancing loving with teaching responsibility.
Resisting the desire to say "Just do it no questions asked. I am your mother..."
You can reason anything but in the end, give them the freedom to choose. It is your greatest gift.