ChristinS profile image 94

How do you help a child cope whose father has decided to not be involved anymore?


What ways can you show the child that they are still very loved and appreciated and that it is the parents fault for abandoning them? It's hard because the mom doesn't want to trash the dad to the son, but at the same time, the dad has made the irresponsible and selfish choice to stop being involved after many years. His stepdad is around and very involved - should that be the focus?

 

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Best Answer Grace Marguerite Williams (gmwilliams) says

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3 years ago
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Teresa Sanderson (kansasyarn) says

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3 years ago
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    LongTimeMother 3 years ago

    I agree with you, kansasyarn. Children are smart enough to figure out what's going on. It is wise to let them come to their own conclusions. :)


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LongTimeMother says

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3 years ago
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    Christin Sander (ChristinS) 3 years ago

    Absolutely and I'm one of them. I was raised by a stepparent who adopted me and it was not wonderful always, but certainly better than my biological father who was a very bad person.

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twig22bend says

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3 years ago
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    Christin Sander (ChristinS) 3 years ago

    It is definitely a fine line that is difficult to navigate I'm sure. On one hand, you don't want to lie but on the other hand you want to shield them. tough call indeed. def agree to focus on the positives with stepdad.

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Efficient Admin says

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3 years ago
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    Christin Sander (ChristinS) 3 years ago

    I totally agree, in some cases it is painfully obvious when a child is better off without a certain parent.

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peachy (peachpurple) says

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3 years ago
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    Christin Sander (ChristinS) 3 years ago

    I agree, it's not right to give them false hope because that could certainly make a child angry in the future and feel that the mom was being dishonest.

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RealityTalk says

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3 years ago
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    Grace Marguerite Williams (gmwilliams) 3 years ago

    Beautiful, spot on answer! Reality Talk, you responses are always intelligent, beautiful, and shockingly spot on!


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T. Clifton (BuffaloGal1960) says

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3 years ago
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ahorseback says

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    Christin Sander (ChristinS) 3 years ago

    I agree any parent can definitely choose cruelty, but I don't think biological ties are always that strong. My bio dad for example is a sociopath, thankfully I am not because I wasn't raised by him, but by a stepdad instead :)

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Ghost32 says

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3 years ago
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    Christin Sander (ChristinS) 3 years ago

    I agree that it's def good to tell the truth but in a way that isn't demeaning to the other parent. Glad you were a good stepfather - I admire men who take on that role and do a good job.

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JThomp42 says

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3 years ago
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    RealityTalk 3 years ago

    I think I can understand single parents over compensating, but you are so right about the real world hitting a child in the face if they grow up thinking the world owes them a living.


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