gm...I appreciate this question because it has caused me a light bulb moment that I may have not ever thought to consider.
It's fair to say that both my sister and I recognized that our mother was quite "rigid" with her child-rearing authority. This was naturally something we may have disliked as youngsters and caused some form of rebellion now & then.
However, somehow we instinctively knew she was a "benevolent dictator," who genuinely believed her strictness was necessary to our ultimate benefit. Speaking solely for myself, I would say she was accurate to think this and I am grateful to her. We also had the support and guidance of our Dad, who, although very different in parenting style, reconfirmed our Mother's rules while teaching us to recognize her motives and fully understand the line between disciplining with love and unfair treatment.
"Disassociation," from mother, father or sibling, quite simply would have never been an option nor even entered our consciousness. No interaction within our family/upbringing could have ever been so unbearable as to consider such a split. We maintained a loving bond with one another until today, where I am the lone remaining member of my birth family.....and as such, my main comfort is that unconditional love we had for one another.