My former husband who is in his 60s and remarried for many years wrote our daughter a letter that says too much has gone on to change the past; that he has grieved the loss of their relationship and has come to accept the loss; that he cherishes the memory of her as a child; and that the daughter should "let it go". I will talk to my counselor, but I'd like to know your opinion. I worry that this type of final rejection will be of great harm to her. I'm wondering if she should fight for the relationship or at least gain power back by writing to him. Pain to see her in so much pain.
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Foodee,Thank you so much for this touching story and I'm so glad it ended with healing. I think it's an astute observation to say that all his words on paper might be different if he were to see her face to face. All of these opinions help greatly.
Sri T, thank yo so much for your insight - truly valid points.
I agree letting go is freedom but there needs to be closure not just a break of ties. Especially between a father and daughter. That relationship was created at infancy. If there is a break it needs to be done properly for the girls sake.
What Sri T says is 100% correct, & I've been that way for months now..It took me nearly 8 months practice/training, as my mind gradually shifted to a new better understanding..Best thing i ever learn't, & once learn't it becomes you.
Strickly, Thank you. Up until the point of his "good-bye" to my daughter, I had felt a great loss in his leaving. Now I feel it's more obvious that he is broken beyond repair and, like you say, my daughter and I may in fact, be freer to be happy.
Wordwithlove, Thank you! The incredibly puzzling part of the whole divorce was that he was a WONDERFUL husband and father. I wouldn't have grieved so if he hadn't been. I KNOW he cherished her. It's his own broken-ness as a child trickling down. :(
In that case, Katy, I think your daughter will get through to him. Just let her do it! Love isn't about ego, so who does it first doesn't really matter.
Padmendra, He is a broken shell of a man, it would seem - brilliant, accomplished. He was abandoned in his youth for a while - it trickles down to the next generation. I was going to make his life better - I failed. Thanks so much for commenting!
Dave, your comment is so well-thought out. It touched me that you spent this much time thinking this ques. Knowing what a wonderful father he had once been, makes me wonder, too, if he was trying to free her from his broken soul. Thank you :)
I've been through similar & you could sit & ponder/wonder forever & still never know the why as only he know's, that's if he even know's himself why..Also if we do sit & wonder we create unwanted emotions, that we then attach to our p