KatyWhoWaited profile image 85

If your father has closed the door to a relationship with you, do you accept it or try to change it?


My former husband who is in his 60s and remarried for many years wrote our daughter a letter that says too much has gone on to change the past; that he has grieved the loss of their relationship and has come to accept the loss; that he cherishes the memory of her as a child; and that the daughter should "let it go". I will talk to my counselor, but I'd like to know your opinion. I worry that this type of final rejection will be of great harm to her. I'm wondering if she should fight for the relationship or at least gain power back by writing to him. Pain to see her in so much pain.

 

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Foodeee profile image81

Foodeee says

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3 years ago
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    KatyWhoWaited 3 years ago

    Foodee,Thank you so much for this touching story and I'm so glad it ended with healing. I think it's an astute observation to say that all his words on paper might be different if he were to see her face to face. All of these opinions help greatly.

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Sri T (the mystic) (Sri T) says

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3 years ago
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    KatyWhoWaited 3 years ago

    Sri T, thank yo so much for your insight - truly valid points.


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StricktlyDating says

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3 years ago
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    KatyWhoWaited 3 years ago

    Strickly, Thank you. Up until the point of his "good-bye" to my daughter, I had felt a great loss in his leaving. Now I feel it's more obvious that he is broken beyond repair and, like you say, my daughter and I may in fact, be freer to be happy.

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Jennifer (writinglover) says

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3 years ago
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    KatyWhoWaited 3 years ago

    Wl, I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your mother. Since your mother has apologized I'm wondering if there would be harm in trying to reach out. In your LOVELY video (and how DID you make that ??) u imply there is beauty in imperfection


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Neetu M (wordswithlove) says

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3 years ago
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    KatyWhoWaited 3 years ago

    Wordwithlove, Thank you! The incredibly puzzling part of the whole divorce was that he was a WONDERFUL husband and father. I wouldn't have grieved so if he hadn't been. I KNOW he cherished her. It's his own broken-ness as a child trickling down. :(


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PADMENDRA S R (padmendra) says

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3 years ago
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    KatyWhoWaited 3 years ago

    Padmendra, He is a broken shell of a man, it would seem - brilliant, accomplished. He was abandoned in his youth for a while - it trickles down to the next generation. I was going to make his life better - I failed. Thanks so much for commenting!

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Dave36 says

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3 years ago
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    KatyWhoWaited 3 years ago

    Dave, your comment is so well-thought out. It touched me that you spent this much time thinking this ques. Knowing what a wonderful father he had once been, makes me wonder, too, if he was trying to free her from his broken soul. Thank you :)


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