I suspect it's not the "job" causing chaos but rather the person working the job and how (they) handle it. In some instances family members aren't going to be your best "cheerleaders" in life. They're looking out for themselves even if it means holding you back from your potential. Life is a (personal) journey!
If your family loves (you) they should encourage you rather than discourage you from fulfilling your dreams. Sometimes it's just a matter of letting them know how important your career is to you while at the same time setting their expectations of how you plan to celebrate with them.
If you're dealing with children this may be one of those "teachable moments" where they learn you don't always get what (you) want.
You have to work hard to get ahead and have nice things in life.
Lowering your family's living standards is probably not in their best interest. Some friends of mine in Southern California sold a their townhome and moved into an apartment in an area for their child to attend a particular school. They were never able to get back into the home owner market but their son now has a degree from USC and then he moved several hundred miles away.
They have been living in apartments for almost 20 years. With the high cost of real estate in Calif. they'd have a built in nest egg if they had chose to stay their original upscale neighborhood.
It's never a good idea for a mature person to appease the immature. Nevertheless it's important to be honest with yourself.
If (you) dislike your job and want to quit then do so.
Ironically the older children become the less time they want to spend with their parents anyway. Make the most of weekends, holidays, and vacations.
Everything will be fine in the end as they beam with pride over your accomplishments and how well you provided for them.