I never wanted kids. I never envisioned it as a part of my future. I had friends that would say "you're going to be such a good mom someday" and I would laugh awkwardly and say "I'm too selfish to have kids, I want to travel, I want to do things on my own." I never met a kid that didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I always thought kids were annoying and I rolled my eyes at screeching babies and I had zero desire to have one of my own.
And then I had a surprise pregnancy. I seriously considered having an abortion. I was in my early 20s and still very much in the "I don't want kids" camp, and even if I stretched myself I knew I couldn't seriously consider it until I had lived out my 20s and was done school with a good job and some fun life experience under my belt. I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion. It wasn't because I had suddenly felt maternal with a fertilized egg in my belly. I just couldn't do it. I convinced myself that I would come around to the idea of having a kid by the time I was due to birth one.
It was a slow burn. I think I started to get genuinely excited once I was past the first trimester. Once I found out I was having a girl at 20 weeks I started to bond. By the time I gave birth I was used to and looking forward to the idea that I'd have a child.
I didn't bond with her instantly. I didn't have a rush of love the moment I saw her. I was exhausted and scared and didn't know what to do. I had literally held ONE baby in my entire life before I held my own. Holding MY OWN baby who I was entirely responsible for was overwhelming and terrifying. And I struggled immensely for months, through breastfeeding, through colic, through my life being turned upside down and shaken and rearranged so that I didn't even recognize it anymore.
But I got there. My daughter is 4 now and she is, undoubtedly and so intensely, the love of my life. If it's possible for a 4 year old to be my best friend then she's it. I would do anything and everything for her and she brings out a part of me that I didn't know existed and it's the BEST part of me.
So, I had even less than luke-warm feelings about having kids. And now I can honestly say that having a kid was the best thing I have ever done and will ever do. That said, it's a real struggle sometimes, made even harder if it's not something you truly wanted in the first place. It's a BIG decision and not one I'd make (purposely) if I was on the fence about it.