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How do I avoid conflict while visiting my daughter and her boyfriend after having a new baby?

My daughter asked me to come stay after giving birth. I arrived to a house that reeked of animal urine from 5 cats and dogs....cigarette smoke and butts in cars and on the ground outside...rotting food in the fridge...neglected pets (no nails trimmed and mites) laundry piled everywhere...unpaid bills laying money for household or groceries, but there are always cigs available. I tried to help by cleaning everything, taking the pets on daily walks and grooming them, and buying a ton of groceries and household items. I tried to talk and she flips out.

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Paula (fpherj48) says

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3 months ago