My father passed away January 23rd 2010, I am sad to say. It did lighten my burden but certainly not the way I wanted. I miss him terribly even if he was grouchy. In February we made the decision to put my mother in a Retirement home, not convalescent hospital. She receives assisted care. They feed her, do her laundry, clean her room, provide activities, give her her medications, assist with her showers, and take her to her local Dr appointments, she even goes to a church near there via a van that picks her up every Sunday along with another resident..
She is only 30 minutes away and I see her and take her out to lunch about 3 days a week. It is working out well. She loves it there. She has made many new friends among the other residents and staff. If frees up my time and allows my husband and I to have a life of our own also. We are even going on vacation this year without worrying about getting someone to care for her. It costs 1200 a month. She gets that from Social Security. We provide her other needs. Clothing, snacks she wants in her room, toiletries, ect... It is great.
I would suggest you look into something like that. My mother is in a room by her self for now and she brought her own furniture from home, and decorated the room the way she wants it.. You may find one that will allow your inlaws to share the same room. The place my mom is is segregated by gender (only for sleeping), but they do not have any married couples either. Ask around you can probably find a place. Check it out first. I took a tour first, talked to other residents and met a lot of the staff. Asked about activities ect... Then I took my mother and gave her a tour. She liked it from the beginning. I was shocked. I thought she would be upset, but they had so much to offer her, she loved it immediately. They have a library, TV and DVD/VCR room, several TV areas, Piano, several sitting areas for lounging and reading. Outdoor areas to lounge, even a place to garden!
good luck and God Bless you.