My son was punished by his father for wetting his pants by "squeezing his penis

1. 52

   jodyjaneyccckposted 13 years ago

   My son was punished by his father for wetting his pants by "squeezing his penis really hard."...
   
   Would you agree that this is abuse? I know every parent will eventually overreact to something their child has done in negative way; I dont think this is just a case of yelling or spanking over something that normally wouldnt be so offensive because the parent had a bad day!!! Squeezing a young boys penis because he had an accident seems way beyond that scenario. What do you think?

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2. 68

   jdflomposted 13 years ago

   This doesn't seem right. You better find out if there is any further abuse going on; or, if this is just a one time incident where the father used a lack of judgement.
   
   Harming the genitals should never be a form of punishment for children. You may need to have a stern talk with him or contact the authorities depending on how far this has gone.

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3. 58

   JayDeckposted 13 years ago

   Regardless of the situation, it is abuse. What you have to decide is: is this part of a pattern? Can this be adequately addressed with a conversation?
   In other words, if he has always been a good father, and when you talk to him he is equally upset about his own actions and he addresses them, then maybe you just keep a close eye on the situation.
   If he doesn't see it your way, the right way, it may need to be addressed with lawyers. I assume by your language that you are divorced? If so, remember that your relationship with your ex will weigh on your son throughout his life. That shouldn't stop you from protecting your son, mind you, but it should add a layer of self reflection to your processing (be sure where your insticts are coming from) before you go into battle.
   God Bless and good luck!
   -J

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4. 60

   DrNajposted 13 years ago

   Sadly, just another case of child abuse
   
   http://hubpages.com/hub/-Child-abuse-an … ou-do?done

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5. 61

   Thumb86posted 13 years ago

   are you serious? I think this is some kind of weird attempt at internet humour...? surely!
   
   If not, then yep, its abuse.

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6. 61

   swapna123posted 13 years ago

   This is shocking. And abuse, yes ! Yelling or spanking is also bad but this is worse. Talk to the child and find out if he had faced this previously. If yes, i think you should move away from him for the child's safety. Else, please have a detailed discussion with the father and make sure it doesn't happen again.

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7. 57

   weblogposted 13 years ago

   What's his name, let me guess HITLER..? Come on, what do you expect people here to say anymore? Your husband needs to be treated.. Seriously!!!

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8. 60

   Porshadoxusposted 13 years ago

   I am shocked to think that this really happened. Yes, this is abuse.
   
   First: accidents happen. Kids don't always make it to the bathroom. This needs no punishment, just positive encouragement.
   
   Second: Perhaps this guy should have his penis pinched (locking pliers come to mind) when he has an accident, of any sort.
   
   No way is this normal behavior.

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9. 48

   Tatjana-Mihaelaposted 13 years ago

   It is most probably the same thing the father of your husband was done to him once upon a time. You need to seriously speak with your husband.
   
   It is very difficult to judge from ours point of view , but if yelling and spanking are also normal part of scenario and many bad days of angry parent, you have big problem.

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10. 74

    Anna Marie Bowmanposted 13 years ago

    First off, no matter what, yes, this is abuse!  I am curious as to the age of the child.  If the child were older, while still very wrong, it may have provoked anger in the father.  Children's bodies develop differently.  All children are different.  He may have wet his pants for a variety of reasons.  No reason, even doing it willfully, should result in this sort of treatment.

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11. 83

    Sunnyglitterposted 13 years ago

    I'm a little late responding to this, but I just now saw it and almost cried.  That's definitely abuse, and needs to be addressed.  Good luck.

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12. 85

    talfonsoposted 13 years ago

    That is simply abuse! I would have reported your husband to Child Protective Services for doing such a bad thing to your child! Squeezing his penis for wetting his pants? Dear heavens no!!!

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13. 60

    JayDee Sterlingposted 13 years ago

    Is your husband interested in raising a child to be a caring adult or is he interested in raising a child to be a criminal?
    
    Since your husband is such a smartypants, then he can go online and do the research and look at the statistical correlation between criminal behavior and the criminals who were abused as children.
    
    Your husband's behavior was abusive. Don't mix apples and oranges, correcting a child has no connection to what type of day a parent had.  That too is also how you teach children about displaced anger. Not to mention it physically was incorrect to squeeze that particular part of a young child's anatomy.  How would your husband like it if someone grabbed him and squeezed him really hard down there.  In self-defense classes for women, they teach that has a paralyzing effect on the man.
    
    It is the parent's responsibility to take care of their child, as an adult overreacting just isn't a good option. If your husband did that to your child, and you allowed it, just think of what he might do to you.  Maybe he was abused as a child and so the cycle continues.  The question was asked 6 months ago, hopefully you and your husband have throughly discussed that situation and it never happens again.

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14. 60

    Sundaymomentsposted 12 years ago

    In considering abuse one must think does the consequence merit the action done. Squeezing the private area of any human being is in my opinion considered a type of molestation. This father needs to be reported. Though I am late to responding to this question I would only hope that he was reported. However to the Mother who has asked this question if you do not report his actions you are as guilty as he is.
    Every child develops mentally, physically, and emotionally at different levels as well as different stages.
    Not only is the father causing immediate pain; but he also could be causing long term harm (And that my friend is ABUSE)

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15. 52

    jodyjaneyccckposted 12 years ago

    Thanks to all who have read and offered opinion.  I am happy to see that so many agree with me that this is not just wrong but abuse. I am sorry to report that I DID indeed report to CPS and they found it "unsubstantiated" and that "any harm to the child was purely unintentional" Thats wonderful that a CPS caseworker found THAT to be an "unintentional" act of harm, much like a LONG list of obvious cases or incidents of abuse, they are either blinded by facades, extremely convincing denials by victims due to fear based threats or actions by perpatrator and often times lack of follow through. I KNOW my son. There is NO doubt that it happened, and today, as a matter of fact, my younger son told me that his paternal grandmother did the VERY same thing to him not long ago. I am now faced with looking like a woman out to get an "innocent" father and his family if I were to report THIS incident to CPS. I am just at a complete loss. Its killing me to know that this, and God only knows WHAT else, is going on and it appears that there is NOTHING I can do to put a stop to it!!!

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    1. 60

       CynthiAnnposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Talk with them (be civil though). Explain that maybe you should all agree on the types of punishment issued to the children. The kids will respect all of you even more because you will be supporting each other on the discipline. Hope this helps :-)

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16. 60

    CynthiAnnposted 11 years ago

    Absolutely! That is beyond abuse. Children have accidents. That is not a crime! Your poor little boy...Yes, it is frustrating to clean up a mess when a child pees or poops his pants, but that does not call for discipline--unless the child did it purposefully.  Even then, before disciplining a child for something like that you must, must, MUST evaluate the child's needs.  Is he getting enough focused attention? Eye contact? Physical contact? Is this his cry for attention? "Do you love me, dad?"  Reacting in a way like that does not show a child that the parent loves them.  It only shows them they had no right making the parent uncomfortable and should suffer for it.  We must always convey love and discipline simultaneously.  That is the only way discipline is effective.
    I would suggest sitting down with his dad and having a discussion about that (which I'm sure you already have considering the amount of time ago it was that you posted this question).  I hope he told your son sorry and that he loves him still. Children are sensitive and need to be reaffirmed.

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