Child Rearing From a Literary Perspective
"Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive."— Elbert Hubbard
Grasping a Sense of Humor and Running With It While Raising Kids
The first kid of most new parents often makes them wear kid gloves, helicopter parent tactics, swear they have the perfect child and judge other parent's for having unruly children.
Not my first child.
I became the helicopter parent when I realized my firstborn toddler kept playing in his poo and painted the walls with it. Take that Picasso...
I never got to wear gloves either.
He invented a sling shot out of a hanger and rubber bands, and tied the laundry basket to the upstairs railing to lower his dirty clothes from one floor to the next "because this is smarter" he said.
He was right. It was pretty smart.
Except when it came to food. He gagged a lot, making my stomach curl so many times at the table it's a wonder I didn't become anorexic. Instead, when he puked I would casually push the plate under his chin, let him puke then take it to the trash like a champ. After a couple years I realized other people were gagging at the table and I was just used to it.
My second child made me realize there was no escaping boo boo's, her chasing boys, climbing trees and becoming the ninja queen of the forest. She was the princess dress wearing, tiara crown on her head little girl practicing karate moves with a light saber in the yard.
She knocked out her brothers front tooth by pretending to be Indiana Jones. I blame my dad for teaching her that.
Then the same summer my son thought he would try the moves of the lasso guy and knocked out her front tooth by swinging the rope. I thought I had just witnessed a rerun. That year we were all singing by Christmas: "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"
Both of them made me see kids really do invent things out of nothing, have imaginations we can only dream of, and make me want to take up sword play.
Years later when I had my third child, I had stopped caring what people thought of my kids in public.
They will puke in Wal-Mart. They will poop in your car when you forget baby wipes and diapers. They will stare at people and make faces. They are going to reach out and touch something that may cost you money.
Some of the books I have written and are working on have my actual experiences as a parent with toddlers and now teenagers.
I don't regret any of it.
But I have learned that having a sense of humor matters, and there was many times it carried me through.
"Having a two year old is like owning a blender you don't have a top for." -Jerry Seinfeld
This is Why Authors Need Silence When Writing
It started like this:
"The night sped by quickly as Michael awaited for the Calvary in desperation, his heart Wyatt will you stop doing that racing and peanut butter sing bubble guppies from the beating wildly."
That sentence is living proof these grammatical, catastrophic errors do happen to Authors whose children are home while they are trying to work.
When school is in parent's still stay busy, too much on our mind and too many things on the check list.
When school lets out for the summer, then begins the endless hassle of a never ending stream of over work load into the world of fractured parenting, on the brink of a total breakdown to insanity.
If you are one of those parent's such as myself who work a full time job and write at night, on your days off, or whenever you can, then you know exactly what I mean.
Throw your morning routines out the window.
Just as you think you may get a momentary lapse in your hectic world, and can indulge your imagination into a faraway place you are creating, here they come!
It starts raining. The dog is wet.
The kids need another snack. Since school has been out their bellies are like the great gorges of the deep west, and I don't think they have even explored them all yet. Or is that the Ocean?
Okay, its the ocean that hasn't been fully explored yet, and Children's tummies are like that endless void of which there is no return.
I have even allowed my children to sit at the table with me and "play quietly" so I can still work. By the end of ten minutes, I find my mind humming a song to some weird cartoon on television they just have to watch every morning.
I do that because children cannot, I repeat, cannot absolutely keep their minds silent. It is ingrained deep into their inner character that even when their lips aren't moving, they hum a tune or do something that makes noise.
To my horror, as I review an article or a book I am working on, I have found so many errors because I can start typing a sentence and it ends up looking like the one above because the kids interrupt me at the most inopportune times.
Here it is again, in case you were wondering: "The night sped by quickly as Michael awaited for the Calvary in desperation, his heart Wyatt will you stop doing that wildly and peanut butter sing bubble guppies from the beating wildly."
That sentence happened as a direct result of my son interrupting me working on a battle scene and asked: "Mom. Mom. I'm hungry." He said.
I remember telling him: "Peanut Butter sandwich."
My other two younger children were in the living room, watching Bubble Guppies. Humming wildly.
I know my children will not stay little, and one day I will miss the times I messed up a sentence due to my kids silly antics.
They have taught me so much about writing just being who they are, that I gladly learn from the mistakes they gave me while enjoying parenthood.
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."— Franklin P. Jones
© 2012 April Savage