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baby momma

Updated on September 3, 2012

Baby Momma

Baby-momma: a phrase that seems to circulate throughout communities of color absent of negative connotation. It’s a phrase I HATE.

Why does this drive me crazy?

Having a child with someone is a big deal. This is someone with whom you are mixing your dna, will be a part of your life forever, and will co-parent raising your child.

Urban dictionary defines the phrase ‘baby momma’ as:

The mother of your child(ren), whom you did not marry and with whom you are not currently involved.

Oh her? She ain't nothing to me now, girl, she just my baby mama. So, can I get your number?

Wikipedia defines the phrase ‘baby momma’ as:

A baby mama (also baby-mama and baby-mother) is generally defined as a mother who is not married to her child's father, although the term is often used with other meanings as well.

Originally, the term was used by the fathers of children born out of wedlock to describe the mothers of their children, but the term is now in general use to describe any single mother.

The woman who bears your next generation deserves a better title than baby momma. Please regard her as the mother of your child out of respect for her role in the creation of life. What’s the difference? The difference is the action and mentality that accommodate each phrase.

Mother of your child rules/behaviors:

1. Make co-parenting a priority by understanding the needs of your partner/ex-partner for the best benefit of your child.

2. Attend significant events together without the anger or arguing for the benefit of your child.

3. Work together and never use the child as a pawn in a game of power and control.

4. Make sure financial support is present to ensure the best possible lifestyle in interest of your child.

5. Commit to knowing that BOTH parents are essential to developing a healthy young man or woman.

6. Co-parent and realize the decisions you make are not about you but your child.


1. Child support may or may not be present.

2. Speaking disrespectfully to one another: yelling, cursing, bargaining when it comes to responsibilities.

3. Not showing up on time or at all when scheduled to spend time with your child.

4. Saying negative things about the other parent to your child.

5. Holding a child hostage to get money or attention from the other parent.

Baby momma – a phrase that needs to be destroyed!


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