ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Is That Smell My Grandson?

Updated on January 29, 2011

How I Bonded with J.D.

When J.D. was about 14 months old, my daughter asked me to take care of him so that she and her husband could attend a seminar. They invited me to use their new truck and drop them off at the seminar, then keep the truck to run my errands. I gladly accepted. I was a divorced bachelor then, so I had to tackle this tending job alone. During the day, I had to go to the store, so -- of course -- J.D. and I went shopping together.

He talked to me the whole time. Not in words, but with smiles, vocal sounds, and a few laughs and squeals. He showed me his approval as I put him in the seat of the shopping cart. He knew this type of thing, evidently. When he saw the bananas, he lit up, and showed me how much he liked them. As I pushed the cart, he patted my hands and gave me this smile that made me feel like a million bucks. As I bought certain things, he seemed to think this meant he could play with them, which I allowed for the unbreakable stuff. I soon discovered, though, that I had to steer clear of things that I didn't want to buy, as he was very expert at grabbing them before I could react.

As the trip through the various aisles neared an end, I could smell something foul. But I thought nothing of it, thinking everything was well-contained. But the smell got worse, until it demanded attention. I looked, and saw that a certain smelly, penetrative goo was coming out of the cracks of his diaper and jump suit in very generous amounts, and as I approached the check-out stand, some of this landed on the floor, and was getting all over the cart.

The whole time, J.D. was giving me that smile that you see mainly in photographs that you can't resist buying, when the photographer presents you with additional proofs.

I arrived at the check stand, and asked for paper towels. As I think back on this, I see that I reacted as a man would; I didn't even think to buy diapers. All I saw was a mess that needed to be cleaned up. So, I had to reach down between the legs of people who were waiting behind me, to clean up the little piles: "Excuse me; sorry; I'll just....; Oops...."

I asked for more paper towels, or newspapers, and resolved to set him on these, so that the brand-new car seat in my daughter's brand-new truck wouldn't get dirty.

The bagger followed me out after I paid for the items, and told me not to worry, that he was going to hose off the cart. I gave him a distracted thank-you as I planned how I was going to keep the penetrative poo completely away from the 100% new things that were about to be in very close proximity.

I got to my apartment's parking lot, ran J.D. into the house at arm's length, locked the door, then ran back out to get the groceries, since they were in the back of the truck, and might get stolen. When I returned, J.D. was merrily playing in the pots and pans drawer. I mean, he was inside the cabinet -- of all places -- with all that mess on him. He gave me that heart-melting smile again, probably inspired by God so I wouldn't beat him up.

I removed his diaper, and took him to the bathroom sink, sitting him on the counter and putting his legs in the warm water. This, too, seemed familiar territory for him, as he gleefully slid himself into the basin, thus flooding the place with poo-filled water.

I bathed him, dried him, then put him down, so I could drain the water and clean the sink area. While I was doing this, I heard some cute splashing going on. It was only briefly that I wondered where this sound came from, then looked in the toilet area, and saw our little hero happily playing in the bowl.

So I washed him again, then took him to the bedroom where I put a clean diaper on him, a clean shirt, a clean jump suit, and fixed his hair. He was now shining, from head to toe.

I lifted him up at arm's length, to give him a prideful once over. At that point, he, uh . . . . threw up, all over his clean outfit. (This is a true story, and it really happened this way!)

I learned, that day, why God made babies so cute and loveable: to prevent you from . . . . . Well, anyway . . .

I cleaned him up again, and even went through the toilet bowl routine a second time, because I'm a slow learner. Next, we played for a while, until I started getting tired. I could see that he was wearing down, too, so I figured it was nap time for both of us.

I tried to communicate this idea to him, but he seemed to promptly veto it (another ritual he was evidently familiar with). So I turned off the lights, and lay myself down on the easy rocker. He seemed to recognize these signs, too, and began to walk back and forth, looking for other things to do, as he yodeled out a melancholic dirge of some sort. I couldn't see what he did when he went into the kitchen, so I closed off that area, as well as the bedroom.

His cries became more yodely, and were weak, showing that he was getting more tired, or as if he sensed that he was losing the battle, but this seemed to make him more determined to resist.

I just lay there, pretending to sleep, so that he would know that his partner in play had given up.

A few minutes later, after wandering back and forth in the room a few times, yodeling and bemoaning his lot, he came over to my lap, and flopped over onto my legs. I pulled him up onto my stomach, his head on my shoulder, and within a few seconds, he was out.

Needless to say, we bonded that day. It's great to be a grandpa.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Barbara Kay profile image

      Barbara Badder 

      7 years ago from USA

      This gave me a chuckle. Grandkids are fun and make life all worthwhile.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 

      7 years ago from Australia

      a great read, Children have to be that cute just to survive the first year of life, well done grandpa!

    • CASE1WORKER profile image


      7 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

      oh what fun! the thing is with grand children you can give them back!

    • esllr profile image


      7 years ago from Charlotte

      Wonderful hub, now get yourself a foldaway baby play pen to ease your (load) I mean ease your mind. SMILE

      I love your keyword phrases.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)