ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

kids, why do they all turn out so different?

Updated on July 22, 2008

Most kids aren't going to turn out to be criminals, that is unless there's some bad DNA coupled with a good dose of prolonged child abuse and no love whatsoever from parents. Criminals have no conscience! How hard is that to do? They sublimate self hate so that it reveals itself in anti-social behavior. They can use and abuse and leave another without batting an eye. the attitude? there's always another sucker.

Early childhood (infancy) is very important in development. That baby has got to feel like mom and he or she are one. Even a kid with some bad DNA can overcome it with loving, caring parents, a well adjusted home, where there is always a positive message from mom and dad and Sib's. Little squabbles are not overblown and kids are given the opportunity to work things out. In fact kids are encouraged to work all things out without someone constantly telling them what to do and what is right or wrong.Given the chance, they will learn. first at home through good example from parents. Then school and church. Kids who have something crammed down their throats, they may comply. But the minute they get on their own, such as in college, look out. Whatever kids learn at home, it is the peers who decide how they interact with the world. Of course, they learned at home the kinds of people who will reflect favorably on the child, and that is the type of friend the child will seek.

Remember, kids are not naturally mean, rebellious, or unable to tidy up after themselves. A child acting out in public has learned from a parent or parents that this kind of behavior is acceptable. Screaming, throwing things, hitting mom- then, mom or dad starts screaming, hitting or throwing things. Where did the kid learn?

Kids need a touch, gentle, loving and kind. A soft, kind voice that says, I'm in control here.. You (kid) haven't a thing to worry about cause that's my job. Kids can pick up after themselves, rinse a glass when finished with it, make a bed. It doesn't have to be perfect. That they have done it deserves high praise. Make a contract with them. Give them money or a treat for doing their job. This will teach them the value of money and how to earn it. Stop saying yes to everything they want and make little deals with them to earn rewards.

When a child is slammed around or just slapped it is devastating to self-esteem. Especially when it is done in front of others. Never holler at them. It shows you have no control of your emotions and gives them the notion that it is all right to do. A child is not a criminal. A child is a child, needing and deserving all the love you can give. It is up to you to be there, always for the child--not "I'm sick, or I don't have time right now," Oprah's on now!" is a lame way of telling the child what is most important in your life.

Parents will make mistakes, lots of them. But more important than that is that you love your child and show it. Even if your parents never hugged you or let you know they loved you, you still craved to be loved, held and listened to. you are not your parent. You have a chance to change the script and how your children feel about themselves. They grow up quickly. Will they want to get out of the house as quickly as possible? Or will they have included you in their plans for their young adulthood? They will remember your values, moral imperatives, and your unconditional love. It is this love that a young person clings to and returns to a parent. As important as peers are, nothing replaces the joy shared between parent and child. It is something that will last forever and will be passed on, inexorably from generation to generation.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)