Is it Time to Say Goodbye to Loved Ones?
Family should always be there for each other. I was taught that my entire life by none other than my family.
I wanted to feel the unconditional love connection. But wasn't it supposed to be there already? I found out, in a very cruel way, this is far from the truth.
I tried my best to avoid conflicts or disagreements by holding back what I really wanted to say. Why? Because it made absolutely no difference. In fact, it made it worse. I knew that if I spoke up we would argue, they would get mad at me. I finally realized that this behavior occurred with them ONLY.
It was extremely difficult just to be around them. I was always on edge, cautious, and scared. That was not a loving relationship. I was criticized for not attending “so-called” family functions. But, it eventually became too exhausting keeping up a false facade. I tried to hold a conversation with some family who really didn’t care what I had to contribute to the conversation, and ultimately I always ended up being criticized for what ever.
We would act out the roles of happy family. It wasn’t. I came to the realization how tense I was at these interactions. Dealing with inflated egos, which many of my family members possessed, never turns out well. You will always be in the wrong.
I have had to move on with my life.
The fantasy of resolving issues with them is over. I have become much more independent and anxiety free once I finally made the decision to cut ties.
It was heartbreaking. But, I've surrounded myself with people who truly care for me and understand. You may think it could never happen to your family, like I did, but always prepare for it. It can happen tomorrow.
My epiphany was that they will never change and I can't certainly change them.