Did you see this....Marry for money?

1. STAFF

   Paul Edmondsonposted 17 years ago

   http://dealbreaker.com/2007/10/that_cra … ne_pos.php
   
   My wife and I have had a good time discussing.  I think it's OK to marry for money.

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   sminut13posted 16 years ago

   i think it's ok so long as both the couples are agreeable if not it's gonna be problematic.

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   Marisa Wrightposted 16 years ago

   It may be OK for the woman to marry for money, but what does the man get in return? 
   
   If he gets a gorgeous trophy wife - as the answer says, that doesn't last forever.  And the truth is, just because a woman has a gloriously sexy body doesn't mean she's good in bed.  In fact, sometimes the opposite is true - which is probably how those plain Janes hooked their millionaires    I don't know why that is:  maybe having a perfect body is a sign of being self-obsessed, and the self-obsessed never make good lovers! 
   
   Actually, I suppose it could work in reverse - the toy boy marrying the rich widow.  Men don't lose their looks so quickly, so he might just outlast her....

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      Isabella Snowposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      What a ridiculously obvious statement. No category of people is always or never good at something. Though, I'm curious to know how many women with gloriously sexy bodies have you slept with, that you can state whether or not they might be good in bed.

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   relacheposted 16 years ago

   Marisa, you might be surprised how many people marry for money, without having a sexual relationship as a major part of the equation.

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   Marisa Wrightposted 16 years ago

   Relache, I guess I'm having trouble understanding what the other party gets out of the deal.  Sex seemed like a possibility - if not that, then what?

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   sminut13posted 16 years ago

   well if sex is not counted, then it might be cos of financial difficulties. the rich spouse might help out the poor one so long as the poor doesn't interfere with the rich's tendencies whatever they may be. there are many scenarios that we are unaware of or haven't encountered. so for me, as long as both parties are willing, then it's fine. of course if they want to seperate, it must be amicable too if not then there'd be problems of course.

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      Marisa Wrightposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      I had forgotten about what used to be called "white marriages", where homosexuals marry for appearance's sake.  I suppose in some cultures, that kind of thing is (sadly) still necessary.   
      
      I'm not saying that people shouldn't marry for money if they want, I'm just doubting whether it can really work out in the end.

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   jimmythejockposted 16 years ago

   I married my wife for her money,only to be dissapointed that she was in the same boat as I was, almost 12 years on we are still together and the hope is still there that she has a secret stash hidden somewhere! lol.
   On a serious note though, I personally don't think that I could live in a marriage of convenience,
   to me the love of a good woman is worth more than anything that money could buy, and a life without love to me would be a life not worth living.....jimmy

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   Marisa Wrightposted 16 years ago

   Aw, Jimmy, that's wonderful! 
   
   I'm like you - I can understand people being tempted to marry for money, or perhaps even being forced into it by circumstances.  But I can't imagine it being anything but corrosive in the end, to settle for an emotionally barren relationship.  My dh may not have a million dollars, but his love is worth far more than mere money in the bank.

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   Earth Angelposted 16 years ago

   As a Life Skills Coach I encounter all sorts of reasons people marry besides the "I love you more than life itself" and "I can't live without you" kinds!! Actually, very few have to do with the flowers and romance, although that is often what brings a couple together!! I often see/review the "soul mate" dance as a socially acceptable cover for much deeper issues!!
   
   As long as both people entering a "union" are rigerously honest with each other about their motivations and intentions, there should be no unexpected conflicts later!! The problem arises when one or both do not know themselves well enough to participate in that level of honesty!!
   
   "A person can not be more honest with another than they can be with themselves!!"
   
   Not withstanding the above, I am a hopeless romantic!! But I have done enough work on myself over the years to know where it comes from!! The Cinderella Complex is an unrealistic framework for a successful longterm relationship!!
   
   Marrying for money never made any sense to me!! (It might have been different if I had wanted children and be a stay-at-home mom!!) As a woman, the work load is HUGE whether inside the home or out!! I had a choice to spend my energy cooking, cleaning, entertaining, playing tennis and providing on-demand sex, OR, taking that same energy and putting it into becoming self-sufficient!! It's still work both ways!! Many times I thought the first choice would be more fun!! Alas, if things ever changed (and they always change) I would be in a better position by choosing the second!!
   
   Blessings on all unions, successful and struggling!! Earth Angel!!

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      Marisa Wrightposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      I'm with you on the flowers and romance thing.  In fact I wrote a Hub about the often illusory nature of fairytale love.  For instance, my dh and I didn't have a big "spark" when we met - it was common interests and shared values that kept us seeing each other.  Love grew, and continues to grow.  We checked a Chinese horoscope for compatibility and it said we "fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle", which really says it all.

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      sminut13posted 16 years agoin reply to this

      i agree too. we don know the reasons for marryin for money or convenience andpersonally, i too feel that we shd marry for love. but to each his/her own.

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    Marisa Wrightposted 16 years ago

    My, this thread is getting soppy.....

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    Earth Angelposted 16 years ago

    I love soppy . . . Ahhhhhhh . . . Sometimes I would sooooooooooooooo love to replace my logic with rose petals, champagne and a smile at sunrise . . . even with bad breath . . . Soppy away . . . kiss your lover and tell them how much you appreciate them . . . . Love waning . . . Earth Angel . . .

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    rachel craneposted 16 years ago

    sometimes it can be okay but if they take advantage of your money then you are being played!

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    Marisa Wrightposted 16 years ago

    Isabella, I speak not from my own experience, but from conversations with men who have made the observation.  They have said to me that THEY tend to assume all sexy-looking women must be sexy by nature.  I can't imagine any woman making such a generalisation any more than you can!

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    Isabella Snowposted 16 years ago

    You must know a goodly number of simple minded men.
    
    I dont know anyone who would think something so daft.

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    Marisa Wrightposted 16 years ago

    Well, I was single for four years and went to a lot of singles' functions, so yes, I probably did meet my fair share of daft men.  There are a few around.

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    sminut13posted 16 years ago

    lol well men thinkin gorgeous women are good in bed is a natural assumption i would feel. grins. of course, executing wise, i don't know but thoughts and jus looking at them, i think anyone would feel that way. even for us, if we saw hunks, we would think that way too i feel. hehe though i'm more for personality wise.

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