Frustrated by her 13-year-old son’s refusal to get out of bed and go to school, a Brockville-area mother took measures this week that countless parents only dream of — she called the cops on him
Throw a pot full of cold water on him. Repeat every 3 minutes until he gets out of bed.
It's tough for parents to call the police and it's a very personal decision. It’s not for everyone, and if this option does not work for you or your family, then I think you should listen to your gut feeling. I would recommend reading the article below for some advice.
http://www.empoweringparents.com/Is-It- … -Child.php
Great advice, but a whole pot wouldn't be necessary.
That is the most stupid thing I have ever heard in my life. The police have way more important things to do than go to some woman's house to make sure her kid gets up to go to school.
I don't know if this is true or not, but, decades ago they used to have officers that had a specific job, and that was looking for kids who were skipping school. (Truint Offers?) All, that achieved was kids coming up with ways to hide so they wouldn't have to go to school. Waste of tax payer dollars.
If the kid doesn't want to go to school, let him stay home, eventually he will want to go back to see his friends, and have homework out the wazoo. The only way to punish a kid like that, is to take away something he enjoys, give him an alternative. School and hang out with friends with tv and video games. or don't go to school, and sit in your room all day, every day, and do nothing.
Getting the police involved is a huge mistake, as he may eventually use that to his advantage. As other kids might find that very cool. Not, only that, but the police will not be kind. Too much of this kind of calling, might end up putting the kid in Juvinile detention, and submit the Parent to harrasssment from Child services. As they have their nose in anything that involves the police.
this is what we refer to as "lazy mom syndrome"
i don't know of any parent who 'dreams of" calling the cops on their kids. ugh.
People are doing that more and more around here. I see it all the time in the newspaper. The local police department actually asked parents to not call them unless it is an emergency, because they were spending too much time "scaring" kids into behaving! Maybe parents should look at their own parenting skills before calling the cops, especially just because her son wouldn't get out of bed!
In washington state there is a law called the Becca Bill that requires parents to make their kids go to school. 7 absenses in one month or 10 for the year and the state steps in and starts taking action.
I remember being in school and the threat of the becca bill. We were always being reminded by teachers that we HAD to come to school.
There are reasons that they will allow the absences, but not without a hearing first to determine if they are a good enough reason (such as medical related).
The state can do as much as fine the parents $25 per absence, have them do community service, and put the child in juvenile detention (this is after countless attempts to rectify the situation using other means)
The fines and community service the state makes the parents do is for those that can not prove they took measures to try and MAKE the kids go to school. So although I think it's a huge waste of resources and time to have the police come out, there are some instances where the proof might be necessary.
If the student is already in the process of being handled by the Becca Bill, calling the cops and having them come out might actually save the parent time and money.
This is a stupid law. I think the only thing it would accomplish is driving a huge wedge between parents and their lazy kids. This is the same kind of crap that employers use to scare their employees into coming to work, or risk losing their jobs. What are the idiots who passed this law thinking?
And, what would worry me more about it, is that a good student might be subject to punishment, just because they missed a few days of school.
Obviously, the school isn't going to pick and choose who gets in trouble and who doesn't. One reason why so many good employees lose their jobs over being sick, over worthless employees who just happen to show up every day. Just because someone shows up every day, doesn't mean they are going to learn anything, or care to learn anything.
I went to school every day, and I could have cared less about what was going on. I pretty much just sat and looked out the window. I know if there was a law like this. my dad would have been on me like a dog to make sure I was there. I pretty much hated every minute of it.
I also went to a completely worthless school.
There are always underlying reasons why children do not want to go to school. Hiding in the bedroom or not willing to get out of bed, can be a sign that something is really wrong.
Sitting down with your kids with a listening ear and compassionate attitude, can help open them up to share what is really on their mind.
Sometimes bullying or peer pressure can be too much to bear. When your parents are loving and there for you, it makes a difference. Patience will open up their emotional pages. Criticism will close their book shut, and tightly too!
That is ridiculous. Cops have better things to do than help parent people's children. That mom should be arrested.
I think that perhaps in extreme cases parents might be left with few other options, parents are punished if their kids don't attend, but if they were to try and physically force their kids to go the parents themselves would be arrested for abuse or sued by their kids.
No, not nice. That's a violent thing to do to anyone especially trying to wake them up. Sudden, aggressive and unreasonable rages can occur when being shocked into wakefulness. This is a well written and studied subject. It's not a good idea to do this to your child and have them do something that can never be forgotten.
Find another way but calling the police? Didn't they just laugh and go on their way?
Really what can the parents do? These days if you raise your voice too loud child services are stepping in because you are emotionally scarring the child. If I refused to get up and go to school, my mattress would have gotten flipped up and my parents would have said "Oh well since your out of bed now go to school". And as far as not being nice, it's better than letting the kid walk around thinking they can have their way with whatever they want. You keep that attitude as an adult and that's when you get in adult size trouble.
I was looking after a 3 children a while ago, a mini bus picks up one of the children, and when it arrived I could not find the child in the house anywhere.... The other two had gone off to school already.
The driver was willing to go up in to the attic to look for the child as the attic door was open. I screamed the childs name over and over again, then just decided, what possesed me I dont know to pull the quilt off the bed in the spare room. There he was tucked up in a cosy little ball. "I am not going to school" I was informed.... Believe me the police were on their way, we had to cancel them..
Since I worked loss prevention a while back, I talked a lot with police officers. This topic came up at times.
They told me they hated calls similar to this, but got them all the time. In one town in particular in my county (where all the upper class seems to reside), parents would call the police when their kids wouldn't go to sleep at night.
Can you believe that? Parents would call the police and the police would show up to give little Johnny a talk about the importance of sleep/obeying parents/etc.
A little over the top, if you ask me. And by "a little" I mean WAAAY too much.
This is tricky. I don't have children so its a tough one. But all these options seem harsh. I mean what if he has a good reason, like maybe he was getting bullied at school? i guess it depends how much he does this, but son's should be able to talk to their mums and work out a new solution together
sometimes these talks does not work than what to do?
I don't understand...I never acted crazy as a kid or a teen because I was too afraid of my dad. That dosen't mean he was a monster or abusive, but I knew not to p** him off.
That's where it begins...a healthy respect of adults who outweigh you by at least 100 lbs. Because one day the kid may outweigh you and then it's too late.
You can control your kids and make them respect you and yes, a small but healthy dose of fear is part of that.
What a lazy kid! Doesnt he have friends at school he could look froward to seeing? I mean there were days that I didnt want to be in at school for but my friends or ppl that I see on a day to day basis were the reasons I still went to school. Many times I wanted out but hey looka tme know! I love school and Im going to college and even obtained scholarships. School has it's perks for everyone, he should really rethink his attidude! He needs to get over his self.
In England a child can only miss a certain number of days off school. If the child goes over this number of days, someone is contacted im not sure who at first, but it does get back to the police and the parents/carers are made to attend a court hearing and could be sent to prison if their child continues to miss school. I think it is wrong to send the carer to prison as you cannot "physically" make your child go to school, yes you can get them out of the house, but whos to say the child even goes to school when they have left their house.
She did what? She should be charged with wasting police time!
The boy in question should simply have been dragged from the bed and sent to school, that's it. Failing that, he should have been put across the knee and given a damned good hammering, as was the case for countless generations.
What is it with this bleeding heart liberalism nowadays? I thought it was confined to the UK. I grew up in an era of corporal punishment at school and one stern look from a father's eye! If you misbehaved at school, you were belted with a leather belt - if you misbehaved at home with your mother, it was like the old cartoon, "Wait til your father gets home!"
Ahhh - the good old days!
We are obviously not talking about a normal situation here, guys. The boy in question might be far bigger than his Mom and out of control. Wake up, man. A. these days it's pretty much illegal to manhandle your children, and B. some kids are scary little terrors - there are plenty of instances in which the children have taken over the home and the parents are afraid to do anything. I've seen parents physically abused by their children.
With you on that one Gordon - I loved my mother - but she hit be across the few legs a few times when I was being bad. I respected her - she was an adult I was a kid - if she asked me to do something I did - this is not the dark ages btw I am 47
Parents are your parents not your friends -a lot of parents have missed that - I hear mothers trying to reason with 3 year olds in the supermarkets - come on - at the 3 we don't do reason!
Give kids boundaries - and they will be much happier for it. If that was the case and the kid still didn't want to school then the parent would know there was a real problem like bullying.
BTW in my country if I child doesn't show up to school except with a medical note - then eventually the parent's welfare payments are cut
Pouring cold water on someone while they are sleeping can be fatal. It's too drastic of a shock to the system.
I friend used to tell me that his dad put marbles in the freezer and then would pop them in the bed when he wanted the kids to get up. They are cold and all roll to where you are no matter how you try to move. You have to get up to avoid them.
There has been talk about changing the hour high school starts recently, because people now know that most teens need an amazing amount of sleep in order to be fully rested; but, if I understand correctly, they tend to have "night-time" body clocks, that make it impossible for them to go to sleep. The point is, it's a problem for a lot of high-school kids; and it has nothing to do with their being lazy or otherwise "awful" people. Many teens have a tendency toward being depressed, so that doesn't help either.
If I had a kid who was missing too much school I'd try to get him up an hour earlier, expect him to try to sleep by ten p.m., buy five obnoxious clocks, have him checked out to see if he had depression, or do whatever it took (and I wouldn't be above letting him face the music or consequences if he missed school); but I'd never call the police on him. I'm "sorry" - but parents should be grateful if the only problem their teen son or daughter gives them is having trouble getting up. Yes, it's tricky to have to deal with it; and it needs to be addressed; but helping the kid figure out a way to deal with his problem is what parents need to do.
So far reasoning and asking questions has sufficed with three children (one adopted) and six grandchildren. All have been able to learn reason. it takes a lot of love and time. Some parents don't make the time. The children that won't get out of bed and go to school need a real conversation with mum and dad, not an adult's insecurities dumped on them!
It seems to me that had this Mom been doing her job as a parent from the getgo then having to call the police to get her child out of bed would never have been an issue in the first place.
The mom is far more guilty than the child; he is merely a product of his environment, IMO.
what are other option if child does not want ot liston
Lgali, if a child is disciplined and taught to respect their parents from the time they are small then, other than "typical" acts of rebellion, refusing to listen to their parents is not an option because they KNOW the consequences of trying to pull something like this.
You can't start suddenly trying to act like a parent when kids hit their teen years and expect them to listen to you.
Wrong to blame the Mom!!!
My ex was an extremelly firm believer in "You can't make me do anything I don't wanna do" and taught that to my children. Now, who's fault was it when one of my children said "No! I don't want to!!"???
I have to laugh. This reminds me of someone I heard about who called the police because her niece locked herself in the bathroom (for Privacy!!)
It tells me these adults don't know what their doing. On the other hand...if a child is truant the parents are held accountable and can be thrown in jail if the child is truant repeatedly. So, maybe it was a smart thing to do! I just don't know what I think....
Natural consequences are often times the best consequences: A kid who refuses to take responsibility (at that age) on his own, with gentle prodding from a parent, should have to face the natural consequences which go something like this:
1) stays in bed, misses classes, etc
2) school marks him truant
3) truancy becomes punishable by suspension
4) suspended, kid stays home in bed
5) kid begins to feel "left out" and isolated, home with Mom all day...
6) kid returns to school to discover how far behind he now is, how out of the loop he is with his friends, etc.
7) grades drop
8) kid doesn't pass that grade
9) kid now has to repeat a grade
Calling the cops -- save it for a real crime or in cases of possible danger to a person
My mum would have whacked me so hard, the pain would last for a year!
Discipline is what children need, not the cops. That mom needs to get serious about keeping her kid in line, and not leave her motherly duties for the cops to take care of.
Good for that Mom. Kids are getting a little too full of themselves these days thinking that all they need to do is cry "abuse" to get their parents in trouble. Having seen it myself, I can tell you a shift in the pendulum swing is coming where gov't agencies are concerned. I've never understood why on earth the police would arrest the parents (unless the child in question is very small). If the child in question is a teenager and refuses to go to school, don't arrest the parents, put the little brats in reform school or juvenile detention - that way, they can't NOT go to school, and they get a little taste of what it's like not to follow the rules in the real world.
I can tell by some of the replies here that many of you have never dealt with what we often call "problem children." Yes, there may be some "lazy Mom syndrome" involved here, but I wouldn't assume that that's the case. I've seen kids coming out of what would be considered "good homes" with decent, supportive parents who behaved like out-of-control pieces of sh** (the children) and who required intervention. I suspect this parent may have been at her wit's end. It is recommended never to judge.
I am married to a cop and unless the child is doing something violent or damaging stuff, then the cops can't really do anything.
I think it's hard for parents because the police officers are here to help our children and all other citizens and usually parents paint an ugly picture of police officers, for example "if you continue to behave badly I am going to call the cops and they are going to come and take you to jail!" children and all should trust the cops, not be scared of them.
I think the parent should have had a talk with the kid and said, "Look, I'll help you figure out some changes you can make (no matter how unappealing they may be to you right now); or you can figure out a way to get yourself to school on time on your own. Either way, you have to get there because I'm not going to be having authorities on my back over this. If you can't figure out how you want to fix the problem then maybe you have depression or some other serious problem that requires professional help; so if you can't do something to get yourself there on time; we'll set up an appointment to see if you can get some professional help."
I'd also remind him that if I was doing everything to help him, and if that didn't help, the school would eventually bring in the court system - which could lead to his ending up with a "child-in-need-of-services" report and in a foster home.
That way, the parent supports the kid while also setting limits. On top of that, if the authorities get on the parent's back she can let them know she's doing everything she can to help the kid. (Who knows - maybe he actually does have depression. And a having a parent who doesn't know how to be supportive, sensible, and in charge doesn't help any kid, whether he already has depression or only becomes depressed when he's a teen and dealing with a jerk of a parent.)
when my nephew first started school i had to put him on the bus.the whole time we stood there, he was crying and i kept promising i would be there when he came back later. i even introduced him to some of the other kids getting on the same bus. evetually he climed into the bus and looked back at me with tears still streaming down his face. that was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. then when it was time for him to come home, i stood out there and waited for the bus to drop him off. his face looked as if he cried all day. but when he saw me standing there his face sparkled with delight. i never had a problem getting him on the bus after that.
Umm, and sorry my ignorance, but why it is THAT important that kids go to school that some here are ready to do all sorts of things up to putting them in jail if they don't? I completely miss the point...
it is hardly the police officers responsibility to 'scare' a kid to get out of bed to go to school. kids avoid school for far more reasons than simply being lazy.
parenting is hard, much more so when parents don't know what they're doing. I've been more than amazed at the lack of preparation that parents give to parenting through all the different stages. parents need to use resources to better prepare and educate themselves for the responsibility and role of parenting. it becomes so easy now for parents to blame schools, teachers, media, culture... but we bring our children into the world and we're responsible for them. a parent needs to grow along with the child in regard to their understanding their role as the child ages.
I completely agree. I was a "problem child" in my teens, but my parents were ill prepared and didn't know how to help me cope with challenges I was facing. That was their job, but more and more I had to turn to other people because being a parent was just too hard I guess. My teenage son is much larger than I am, doesn't always like to get out of bed, but I say "do it" he does, because he respects me and I give him what he needs as far as support and discipline. Parents always want to blame anyone but themselves.
My grandfather used to put clothespins on our toes to wake us up. But there are probably laws against that now...
No, this would come under the heading of insanity. The police must hate these idiots wasting their time.
Whoa, this makes me feel extremely blessed that my children had to be either dead or dying before they did not want to go to school. I thankfully was never faced with this issue as they were motivated from the inside - out. Sometimes, when they were very sick I actually had to insist that they stay home - that is where I had the fight on my hands. I would hate to be in a position where I, as a parent, was forced to force them!
Read him the laws regarding the matter. His legal option is Homeschool. Most kids either like and do well teaching themselves or hate Homeschool. If he hates it, he will be motivated to go back to school where his friends are.
Take him to homeless sites, shelters. Ask him how he would like to make a living in this world so he doesn't end up like them. Go to universities and let him see happy people pursuing their interests. Let him know there is a joyful life to be had out there. If he is suffering, listen to why he is not happy. He can be helped. Forcing is TABOO!!!!!! You can help him MOTIVATE himself.
Also, I think it is fine to give kids a break from school, if they are weary. Maybe his diet could be improved
There is a reason he is not happy in school. One must do a little research to discover why.
PS I wonder how this kid is doing eight years later?!!!
Calling the cops, for me, would be a last resort in almost any situation. I can picture a scenario where a single mom has a teen aged son who she can no longer control. She is unable to physically remove him from the bed, and if she angers him perhaps she is afraid of him. Who does she turn to? She thinks maybe having the police show up at the door will light a fire under his butt.
UGH This is WHY HP needs to archive posts over a certain age. I usually catch myself when I reply to something old and stop - but it's really maddening.
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