How do you tell young children about a miscarriage?

  1. alissaroberts profile image89
    alissarobertsposted 6 years ago

    How do you tell young children about a miscarriage?

    If you have already told your younger children (under 10 yrs old) about your pregnancy, how do you break the news of a heartbreaking miscarriage in a sensitive manner where they understand what happened to the new baby? How do you help them through this sad event?

  2. KDF profile image75
    KDFposted 6 years ago

    You may find this odd, coming from a male to respons to, but since I've been there done that, I'll offer you this. As a true believer that everything happens for a reason, our response back in the day was that 'God felt it wasn't time yet for the baby to arrive'. Although it's heartbreaking and a difficult time for the adults, the little ones (under 10) as you've stated, will share the pain but with your guidance will also be able to cope with it.
    When we went through this experience, we had many unanswered questions that ran through our heads and it was hard, but we we're determined to believe that it wasn't the right time however God would let us know when it was.
    You may have a few more questions asked by your young ones but stick with that belief and before you know it, if you desire, when it is meant to be, it will be.
    You can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I hope I provided a little bit of insight. I only responded to this question because I truly mean what I've said and 16 and 9 years later after two healthy kids, although we've never forgotten that day, the conversation is rarely, if ever brought up.

  3. Lisa HW profile image73
    Lisa HWposted 6 years ago

    My son was three when I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks.   He had been excited to think he was getting "a baby brother".  I'd kept telling him that it might not be a baby brother and could, instead, be a baby sister.  He'd tell me, "No.  It's a baby brother.  I know it is."  Because he was sure it was a baby brother, I did emphasize the "we don't know what it will be thing".

    When I had the miscarriage I kind of took advantage of having stressed the "we don't know thing" and "extended" what we can't know by adding that the baby that had been growing "stopped growing".  I told my son that sometimes (most times) babies start growing like "baby plants" do, but sometimes something goes wrong and they don't keep growing.  At three, he didn't need more information than that.

    All he had ever known about the pregnancy was that a new baby was on the way and growing.  At that age, he hadn't seemed to need to know more.   I didn't let him know about what I was going through at all.  So for him, it was more of "just a disappointment" about being told it would be awhile before he got a baby brother or sister.

    My son was four when I was expecting the second time.  (My eldest child is adopted.)  Again, my little son talked about getting a baby brother; and again I warned him that it could be a baby sister.   Three months after my son turned five that little brother he'd wanted so much arrived (6 weeks early but healthy and adorable - and so, so, welcomed and wanted by us all.   smile