Is co-sleeping with children ok?

1. 63

   prettydarkhorseposted 12 years ago

   Is co-sleeping with children ok?
   
   There are some deaths related to co sleeping with newborn or even toddlers. The American Academy of Pediatrics said that it is ok to sleep within the same room but not co sleep in bed while other experts said that it is ok to do it.
   
   Is it then ok to co-sleep sometimes, most of the time or never?
   
   Related to this is the question about the age at which a child should sleep in his/her own own room. What do you think?

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2. 82

   Becky Katzposted 12 years ago

   I raised three kids co-sleeping and we never had a problem. Recently, there was a case of a couple who had two infants die while co-sleeping. I guess it depends on how aware you are while you are sleeping. My husband sleeps really lightly and always watched over them. If there is any question about how lightly you sleep, it is not worth the risk. I would never do that now for worry about it.
   When they were little, they slept in cribs in our room. They transferred to our bed to nurse, and stayed the rest of the night. As they grew into Toddler beds, those go into their own room. Otherwise you could end up with them sleeping with you for years. Part of them maturing is to take them in steps to independance.
   Make a big deal out of them being big kids now and needing a big kid bed and big kids don't sleep with mom and dad. Not saying that if they get scared, they can't come in. Make sure they know that they are allowed to come in if they get scared.

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3. 0

   Lizam1posted 12 years ago

   I co-slept with both my two children and this worked for our family.  I read and liked the work of Dr. William Sears who writes extensively on this subject.  I do not agree with all he has to say.  I think that the choice must be left up to the parents - co-sleeping happens in many countries all around the world.  Co-sleeping can be beneficial for attachment, comfort, getting enough sleep for mum.  A moses basket on a stand next to the bed can also work if parents are concerned about rolling onto their child. 
   
   \in regard to when should a child sleep in his or her own room again I think this should follow the preference and style of the family.  My first daughter was in her own room at one year and our second shared that room at six months - because she was ready.  They were both always welcome to snuggle with me as and when needed too.

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4. 53

   IvoryMistposted 12 years ago

   I have 6 children the oldest ones are 18 and 14 boy and girl when they were little I took some parenting classes they said when children sllep with thier parents it makes them feel secure and strengthens the family bond, they referred to it as "The family bed" and my children all slept in the bed with me both are very secure and we are all close even today they remember those time as some of the closest moments we had together, the other 4 still sleep with me some nights its has worked well for our family.

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5. 61

   mommahottnessposted 12 years ago

   As a mom who breastfed my children I think that Co Sleeping is very natural and a beautiful experience.
   Each of my children have moved on to their own beds with the exception of my 17 month old son. And each one did it on their own time. Son was 4  my daughter who just turned 5 is now sleeping on her own and my Middle son was 6 when he began to sleep in his own bed. I think that we made the right choice because they take pride in their sleeping routine and we dont have any night waking or terrors.

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6. 72

   fitmomposted 12 years ago

   Once my little girl was in a toddler bed, she would get up in the night sometimes and get into our bed for comfort. It usually only happened if there was a severe storm or if she'd had a bad dream in the middle of the night. After our second baby was born, she started doing it more to get some cuddle time in. I didn't mind as long as she went back to sleep. It was only temporary and then she was sleeping all night in her bed again.

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7. 81

   Steel Engineerposted 12 years ago

   One of the nagging memories of my ex-wife was that her parents let her sleep with them, and had sex.... until she was 7.
   
   All her issues revolved around her father and his sexual habits. I believe she had repressed memories of sexual abuse. But, her absolute refusal to be happy (her own words) destroyed all her relationships.
   
   So, it has to be innocent.
   
   And, if you're a pop star sitting on the rights to The Beatles, you better avoid a bad appearance. The powers that be won't back off.

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   1. 61

      kathysdiaryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I agree that mom & dad should refrain from intimacy until alone. Your last sentence was unnecessary. I could see a huge bed with the "BradJalina" household sleeping in one huge bed and no problems.

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8. 61

   kathysdiaryposted 12 years ago

   My son slept with me until he was in preschool because he was afraid to be alone. There's nothing, no law no body that would make me let my child be afraid when he needed to sleep! Why let them have anxiety and fears when they need rest it's just wrong. We bring them into the world it's our responsibility to make them feel secure.
   I did see a talk show where some larger men held their babies and accidentally smothered them, and they were totally torn up it was horribly sad.
   So I think it's a matter of safety. My child weighed 10lbs 3oz, I weighed 100lbs soaking wet. So my son was safe and I gave him more security until he wanted a night light and a "big boy bed" and his door open.
   In the case of a larger person and a tiny baby I think it's safer to sit up in a recliner until they can go into a bassinette and maybe the parent could just put their hand on their back so the baby feels secure and can sleep. (Daddy's hands are big and warm on their backs thus comforting)
   Also a lot of new parents don't realize that wrapping a baby snug with their baby blanket gives the baby a since of being held and almost coddled as they were in the womb. It's another reason bassinettes are good because they are closed in and not so big and open to the bright world. Freud wrote child birth is a baby's first real trauma being brought from the save haven of the womb into a huge unknown place. I think yes it's good to co-sleep with your baby if you can make sure there is no possibility of harm.

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