ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

When Should You Talk to Your Kids about Sex?

Updated on July 14, 2011

So, you want to know how and more importantly when to talk to your kids about sex. I agree it's a delicate subject but it needs to be broached. However you don't want to mortify your kids (or yourself) by doing it. But let's face it sex-ed offered in school just doesn't cut it. And you certainly wouldn't want your kids learning about sex from their friends (like the blind leading the blind), the internet (oh God, let's not even think about that), or film (get real).

So how and more importantly when should you Have the Conversation? Well, with this one, I'm going to have to say as early as possible. Kids will naturally ask questions and the great thing about that is, if they ask you then they're ready to hear the answer. Typically the first questions start getting asked between three and five years of age. Here's what you do:

Answer their questions.

Now, I'm not advocating telling everything all at once. The trick here is just answering their question and nothing more. Don't be embarrassed. Be matter of fact, and honest (no silly names for body parts - call it what it is, just like you'd say a nose is nose). Try and foster an open relationship with your child so that information can flow freely and don't saddle your kids with your own sexual hang-ups.

If you can accomplish this then you're well on your way to establishing an environment where your child will feel like they can ask you anything and you will tell them. This might come in handy later. As questions get more specific resist the urge to mumble, or worse, tell them to "look it up." This is extremely important because as awkward as you think this conversation might be its not half difficult as an unwanted teen pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.

As your kids reach puberty sex will be on their minds quite a bit (don't your remember?). The problem is at this point they're also naturally striving to gain their independence and that can mean pushing you away. Don't be an ostrich. A lot of parents just avoid the subject all together and hope for the best. Or worse, preach abstinence and set their kids up for double jeopardy 1.) they've gotten themselves into some sort of trouble (pregnancy, std) and 2.) they've disobeyed you. Here's what you do:

Don't let that happen.

No subject is taboo. Your kids should know about the different kinds of sex (oral, anal, etc.) because these can be dangerous to their health if not practiced safely. Talk to your kids about masturbation and sexual fantasies and let them know that they are both normal.

Some time's its good to have another adult - someone you trust such as your sister, brother or a friend (hopefully younger and cooler than you are) as your child's "safe" person. Meaning if they find themselves in a difficult situation they can go to the other adult first. It should be made clear to your child that the other adult will only tell you what the child confided if they feel that he or she is in some kind of danger.


Be proactive in creating an environment where the doors of communication are open. Have a movie night and watch a movie about teen pregnancy (such as Juno, Baby Love, Lucy: A Teenage Pregnancy or Sugar & Spice) or give your child a book on sex and flip through it together. When you're done talk about it. Ask if your child has any questions just make sure that when you answer them that you don't use yourself as an example. Just mentioning yourself in regards to sex puts unwanted images in their minds. Keep it neutral and generic. Even if you're child refuses to talk about sex you can still let them know that you are there for them when and if they ever do want to talk about it.

Talking to your kids about sex is a necessary part of being a parent. It doesn't have to be uncomfortable for either of you.

Article by Anne Alexander Sieder


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)