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How To Deal With Low Self Esteem In Kids And Improve Self Confidence : Role Of Parents And Teachers

Updated on February 17, 2017
ChitrangadaSharan profile image

Being a parent and teacher,Chitrangada writes with practical understanding and experience about parenting issues and also provides solutions

Bullying of children at school
Bullying of children at school | Source
Poor academic performance may result in low self esteem amongst children
Poor academic performance may result in low self esteem amongst children | Source

What is Low Self Esteem?

© Chitrangada Sharan Aug. 2012

All Rights Reserved

  • Is your child self-conscious and doesn't like to meet people or going to parties or social gatherings?
  • Does your child feel inferiority complex, about some of his/ her physical features, such as short height or too tall, too fat or too thin?
  • Is your child backward in studies?
  • Are you aware that your child is being bullied at school or college?

In such cases there is a possibility, that your child may be suffering from low self esteem or low self confidence.

Low self esteem among children
Low self esteem among children | Source

Factors which lead to Low self esteem!

Factors affecting it:

Low self esteem in a person does not occur all at once. It has it's roots in:

1. A person's surroundings,

2. His or her childhood,

3. His or her upbringing

4. His/ her relationship with parents, siblings, teachers, peers, friends and so on.

5. Poor academics,

6. Physical features, height, weight and general appearance.

The problem has to be identified first and then with constant and conscious effort it can be overcome.

Who can help?

Role of Parents and Teachers!

Sibling rivalry due to bullying
Sibling rivalry due to bullying | Source

What Is The Role Of Parents In Improving Self Confidence Of Kds?

Role of Parents:

Parents have a very important role in dealing with children suffering from low self esteem.

  • First of all, parents should have a very balanced behavior towards their children.
  • Too much of criticism, always talking in a negative way, praising too much or finding faults in front of everyone, comparing children within own siblings or with relative's children--should be cleverly and wisely avoided.
  • Parents can understand their own child's psychology, in the best possible manner.
  • If they suffer from lack of self confidence, it should be built up.
  • They should be encouraged even for their small achievements. This will help them to come out of the withdrawal tendency.
  • Today parents are too busy to even notice, the emotional ups and downs of their children.

Encourage children to socialize
Encourage children to socialize | Source

Signs of Low Self Esteem

Is your child

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What Is The Role of Teachers If The Student Is Suffering From Low Self Esteem?

Role of Teachers:

  • Teachers have a very vital role in helping children suffering from low self esteem
  • A student might be weak in a particular subject, or in sports or extracurricular activities.
  • The teacher should understand the student well enough and should not criticize or humiliate him/ her before the classmates, if they have not performed up to the mark.
  • Efforts should be made to improve their performance, by talking freely to them and inviting them to voice their trouble areas.
  • Sometimes a student may not be well in academics but in sports or art or some other field.
  • The talent should be identified and the child should be further encouraged to do well in that particular field.

Low self esteem due to physical appearance--But that can be worked upon!
Low self esteem due to physical appearance--But that can be worked upon! | Source

Have you ever suffered with the problem of low self esteem?

See results

What can be done to deal with low self esteem?

Factors responsible for Low self esteem among children,

Due to physical appearance:

  • There are certain things, which are beyond our control, for example--height, physical features like nose, teeth, complexion and so on.
  • Parents have a very significant role in building up their child's confidence, with whatever physical features they are born.
  • Personality can be worked upon. Any kind of inferiority complex should be dealt with lot of encouragement and tender care of parents and teachers.

WHAT CAN BE DONE TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM?

# Meeting people, making friends:

Meeting people who are happy, jolly with a positive frame of mind is very much helpful in building self esteem or self confidence.

Making new friends, going to parties and picnics should be encouraged with the help of parents, teachers, older siblings.

# Sports and exercise:

It is good to encourage the children to play some sport, instead of just be busy with their computer or computer games.

This will divert their negative energy into positive energy.

Besides developing their healthy body, it will also build up a positive bent of mind.

Being surrounded with so many happy and positive people around, it will definitely help them to come out of low self esteem and feel confident.

# Engage them in constructive activities:


There are numerous activities in which these children can be engaged. If they create something really nice and useful and get appreciation in return, their self esteem would automatically be lifted.

# Counselling:

In today's world, most of us would Google our question to get answers for anything and everything and it is available 24 x 7 too.

But there are Counselling sessions for helpless parents and children, almost in every educational institution nowadays. There are experts available at various psychological clinics as well.

You can browse through to get counselors practicing in your area, if you want to have an expert's opinion and suggestions.

© Chitrangada Sharan 14th Aug. 2012

All Rights Reserved.

PROTECTED: PLEASE DO NOT COPY!

+++++++++++++++++++BE POSITIVE++++++++++++++++++

Steps to improve self esteem, source: self esteem

© 2012 Chitrangada Sharan

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    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

      I never had low esteem until I was laid of of work then it hit the floor. I am doing a lot better now but it hasn't return to normal yet.

      Vote up, useful and insteresting, Joyce

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Hi writer20 ( Joyce),

      Thanks for stopping over and giving your valuable comment. I wish you all the best to be normal once again. Be positive and Cheers!

    • flashmakeit profile image

      flashmakeit 4 years ago from usa

      That was useful advice for parents and I agree. You should always encourage your children and bring out their best talents. Vote up!

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks flashmakeit, for your visit and appreciation. I am glad you liked it. Have a nice day.

    • Ann810 profile image

      Ann810 4 years ago from Sunny Cali

      Hi, I agree children should be praised for their small achievements as well. As parents we can build our children up or tear them down. Helping your child with their self-esteem is part of being parent. Voted up.

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      These are helpful tips. Children get to feel inadequate even at an early age because of peers, what they see around them and even because of some parenting styles. It's sad when low self esteem becomes a cause for more pressing problems. As early as possible family, school and friends should pitch in and help.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
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      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks Ann810, for your visit and valuable comment. Thanks for appreciating.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Hi jpcmc!

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I am glad you liked it. It is always encouraging to get positive comments.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 4 years ago from Northern California, USA

      It is easy to develop low self esteem when people all around are constantly pointing out the negative aspects of a person. Your tip about meeting and becoming friends with positive people makes a difference in a person's life and how they come to cope with negativism. I learned this lesson early in life. Now, I only hang out with positive minded people, so that when they are critical, I know that they only mean to be helpful and not hurtful. This is a great hub on helping people combat low self esteem.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks MarleneB, for your visit and a positive feedback. I am glad you liked the tips. Your valuable comments always encourage me. Thanks again.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Children should always be encouraged by parents, that is how they gain their self-esteem from their homes

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      You are right. Thanks DDE, for your visit and valuable comment.

    • shivanchirakkal10 profile image

      shivanchirakkal10 4 years ago

      dear Chitra,

      Parent are most responsible persons to cultivate positive thinking in their children. Unfortunately most of the parent give less importance to their children. Working couples due to their busy left the child to a child care center or left under servant who treat the child carelessly or some time in a bad manner. Some parent use to take smoke and drink, and behave indecently in society, this will feel very badly to growing children. Such children become shy and moody and some time do criminal activities. Today news comes about mass sexual attacks on children even from their very near relatives. Such boys and girls lost even their mental balance. I think now a days children are heavily betrayed by unsocial elements.

      So this helpless younger aged are low self esteemed.

      Poverty, negligence also lead them low self esteemed.

      Good parenting practice highly required to solve such situation.

      voted up.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks shivanchirakkal, for visiting and giving your valuable feedback. I agree, children are most vulnerable and do require utmost care by parents, teachers and society as a whole. You have raised some very important concerns regarding children, which everyone must give a thought. Thanks for your support.

    • Brett.Tesol profile image

      Brett Caulton 4 years ago from Thailand

      Good advice for teachers and parents alike, or even for those feeling a bit down themselves.

      Shared, up and useful.

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 4 years ago from Pune, India

      Very useful tips, thank you for sharing.

    • sgbrown profile image

      Sheila Brown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

      This is very good information and advice for parents, grandparents and teachers. We are the ones who will help to mold our children into good, well rounded adults. I have added a link to this hub in a hub I recently wrote about the 10 Things You Should Say to Your Children. Your hub will be a wonderful added resource. Great job here! Voted up and useful. Have a wonderful day! :)

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks Brett.Tesol, for visiting and your valuable comments. I am glad you found it useful.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks jainismus, for stopping by and sharing.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Hi sgbrown!

      Thanks for your valuable feedback. I am very thankful to you, for adding a link in your hub. I have read your hub, it is wonderful. Thanks for finding this hub useful.

    • crazybeanrider profile image

      Boo McCourt 4 years ago from Washington MI

      I think you are right about parents being a positive influence, if your parents are not feeeding you the positive you need, your self-esteem goes out the window. Enjoyed the topic very much.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks crazybeanrider, for stopping by and appreciating. I am glad you enjoyed the hub. Thanks again.

    • nifwlseirff profile image

      Kymberly Fergusson 4 years ago from Villingen Schwenningen, Germany

      Low self-esteem often begins in childhood, and is especially a problem in parent who have low opinions of themselves, or overly high expectations of their children. And of course, it is sadly very common families where there is abuse of some kind.

      It's always surprised me how many gifted children believe they are worthless, even though they are more 'successful' than many other children!

      Parents and teachers should be positive influences and role models for children - a good reminder to work on their own self-esteem!

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks nifwlseirff, for visiting and your valuable comments. Your views are much appreciated. Thanks a lot.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      Very interesting Hub about having low self esteem. That leads to many problems with people, especially young people. We, as parents, have to encourage our children and make them feel worthwhile.

      I voted this Hub UP, etc. and will share.

    • kimberlie33 profile image

      Kimberlie Kacan 4 years ago from Brooklyn, NY

      Thanks for the great suggestions. It's so amazing how parents and teachers shape a child's self esteem and may not even realize they are having a negative impact. You've pinpointed some very important things to remember when dealing with children.

    • crystaleyes profile image

      crystaleyes 4 years ago from Earth

      A very important topic indeed, thanks for highlighting chitra,

      Parents role is the greatest I feel in molding the child's self-esteem. I completely agree with you that praises, bonding, communication in a positive manner all contribute a lot.. while unnecessary comparisons, negativity among parents contribute towards low self-esteem in children..

      Today my 8-year old asked me whether he is handsome or not.. I answered in the affirmative and we discussed about inner beauty, soul, and also how handsome he is in all ways.. outwardly and inwardly.. He was happy.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 4 years ago from United States

      The importance of self esteem in children was one of the topics in which I chose to write an important paper in college. It turned out to be my theme song from then on, as I taught children with learning challenges for more than twenty-five devoted years. I was granted four college degrees along the way, and readily admit, the kids taught me much more than I have taught them, about life and challenges faced by all everyday. I always used art and crafts in my classes. My kids all loved this and many improved overall grades as a result. They earned praise by others and teachers as well, and their self esteem shot through the roof, at times. A little praise and positive comments can go a long way for kids who struggle. Pairing them with concerned classmates who have little trouble in their class assignments also is effective, This was what happened to me in school as a youngster, and led me into the grand world of teaching. Thanks for your wonderful article.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
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      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks mary for your kind visit and encouraging comments. Thanks again for voting up and sharing.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks kimberlie33, for your visit and comments.

      Yes, you are right---children observe their parents and teachers very closely and want to be like them. In fact they are the role models for them. Parents and teachers should always be approachable by them, to share their feelings or fears or insecurities. So, we have to be very careful about our behavior with them, within siblings and peers.

      Thanks again.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks crystaleyes, for the visit and valuable feedback.

      You have picked up all the important points of the hub to give your appreciation. And what a great example, added at the end, about your son. It has added more meaning to this hub, for which I thank you once again.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks whonunuwho, for your kind visit and valuable feedback.

      I completely agree with your opinion and understand your sentiments. You have the true sentiments of a teacher. I have followed almost the same path as a teacher like you have done. And I agree, we learn so much from the children about life and dealing with challenges.

      I am glad you liked the article. Thanks a lot.

    • visionandfocus profile image

      visionandfocus 4 years ago from North York, Canada

      Children thrive when you believe in them. I like to quote Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." This shows them that they are not at the mercy of bullies. They must take responsibility for their emotions. This is a life-skill that would stand them in good stead throughout their lives.

      Thanks for sharing! Voted up!

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks visionandfocus, for your visit and valuable feedback.

      Thanks for adding further points to the hub and I agree , no one can make us feel inferior without our consent. This has to be inculcated in the children for them to become self assured and confident individuals.

      Thanks again.

    • L.L. Woodard profile image

      L.L. Woodard 4 years ago from Oklahoma City

      It can be challenging to strike a balance between motivating your children to do their best without damaging their self-image, but caring parents can do so. As adults we can get too caught up in the competitiveness of sports and grades and lose sight of our children's need for emotional support.

      Great hub; voted up and Shared.

    • mbyL profile image

      Slaven Cvijetic 4 years ago from Switzerland, Zurich

      I think you give good advice on an important topic. Low self-esteem hunts some people for their lifetime and I think your hub provides the reader with some useful information. That's why I shared it and tweeted it ;)

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks L.L.Woodard, for reading the hub and commenting. Your positive feedback and additional inputs are greatly appreciated.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks mbyL, for visiting this hub and sharing it. I am glad you found the information useful.

    • kapilddit profile image

      Kapil Thakar 3 years ago from Bangalore

      @ChitrangadaSharan :

      As you have used shutterstock images here. Is it ok to use watermarked shutterstock images in hubpages? or we need to purchase before using it?

      Sorry to ask this question here...

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks kapilddit, for visiting the hub!

      You must attribute and provide the link before using any image available on the web. The image used here did not require purchasing it. If any image mentions then you will have to purchase it.

      There are certain sites, which provide free images, such as wikipedia commons, Flickr, photobucket etc. Hope it helped.

      Thanks!

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal

      These tips are not only helpful to children but also to adults as well. My sister is raising children, I'm going to share your advice with her.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks Vinaya, for reading the hub and your positive comments!

      I am glad you found it useful enough to refer to your sister. My best wishes!

      Thanks for your support!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      You have covered a topic that is so key to helping a child (and all people) succeed in life. Low self esteem prevents one from enjoying life as intended. As you suggest, parents can help children overcome this with positive love and guidance. Voted up.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image
      Author

      Chitrangada Sharan 2 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you teaches12345, for your visit and insightful comments!

      You are right, low self esteem affects children as well as adults. Perhaps if dealt with effectively during childhood, it may not affect later in life.

      Thanks for sharing your valuable observation!

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