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I Love My Children

Updated on August 13, 2014

A mother's love defies logic and knows no bounds

Why do I love my children so much? They absorb a ton of my financial, emotional resources and time. They've been the frequent cause of sleep deprivation. I cook for, pick up after, worry over, plan fun events for, and comfort them without often so much as a thank you. They test my patience like it's never before been tested. They are good kids however the times they decide to act up are typically the most inopportune. There have been times when they thoroughly embarrassed me. I've had to take showers in the middle of the night to clean their throw up out of my hair. Pretty much anything disgusting that comes out of the human body they have gotten on me. If it were from anyone else it would have had me running screaming. Yet it's okay- not thrilling mind you, but okay because it's from them. I would give my life in a heartbeat for them. Everything I do, I do willingly and with love, with the possible except of picking up their toys... If there's something in this world I wouldn't do for them I can't think of what it would be. The real question is why?

Photo © melissamio - all rights reserved

When does love begin?

I was doing things for my children before they were ever even conceived. Small things but they were definitely on my mind. When I would go to a funeral of someone important in our family I would take enough prayer cards so that each of my future children would have one of this family member they'd never get a chance to meet. On our honeymoon my husband and I bought several toys/decorations for our future children's nursery. We also had gone to a Paint It Pottery place and I painted several figurines for my future child's nursery. I was early in pregnancy with my daughter however it was several weeks before I was to find out. Throughout my pregnancies I'm always worried sick about whether they're okay in there. The only time I get a slight reprieve is when I feel the reassurance of a kick, have a peek at an ultrasound or hear their heartbeat on the doppler. So I think instinctively I've always loved them or at least the idea of them before I ever even met who they are or fully realized what being a Mother entailed.

Photo © melissamio - all rights reserved

Meeting my daughter

My firstborn was a stubborn girl who refused to turn. She kept her head held high until they cut her out of me. However we didn't know she was a she until her birth. I was so thrilled when I heard the words, "It's a girl!" When I first heard her cry it sounded very metallic and strange. Like it was coming from a far away place. I couldn't believe that this voice was coming from my own child. She came out of the womb a pro breast feeder and made it very easy for me. She was also very beautiful. Yet she was very high maintenance and would scream non-stop if I ever attempted to set her down. She was physically attached to me for over the first year of her life. She was a slow walker and a fast talker. As she got older I got to know who she really was and the journey of discovery was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I loved her to begin with but I fell more and more in love until I was totally lost in her.

Photo © melissamio - all rights reserved

Photo © melissamio - all rights reserved

She's now almost 4 and she's just an absolute joy. Some of my favorite things about her include:

  • She tells me multiple times per day how much she loves me and that I'm her best friend.
  • She's a loving and protective big sister. For instance in swim class if her little brother is upset or scared she'll rub his back. If he needs something she'll come get me. She understand what he says better than anyone else myself included.
  • She likes to take silly pictures of us with my phone.
  • She has an infectious laugh.
  • She mothers me. If I'm sick she'll tell me what and when to eat, drink, take medicine and when I need to see a dentist or doctor.
  • She's timid and shy and that makes me want to protect her. Yet she's willing to go outside her comfort zone and try new things. She convinced us to send her to go to preschool earlier than we had planned.
  • She likes to try to help me however she can, cleaning etc.
  • Sometimes when she knows her Dad is working late she'll come down from bed and find me and we'll watch a movie in bed and share an ice cream. I'm a terrible Mom for doing it I know but I just cherish those special moments with her.
  • She has great manners. Some of her first words were please, thank you and excuse me.
  • She's smart, considerate, loving, funny and kind. I just love the person that she is.

Meeting my son

When we decided to have a second child we both hoped for a boy. This time we decided to found out the sex and when they told me it was a boy I started to cry. It was half because I was thrilled and half because I was terrified. I wanted a boy but I only knew how to be a mother to a girl. I worried I wouldn't know how to teach him to be a man or how to interact with a boy. It was actually almost hard to believe that I had a boy inside of me. He was an easy pregnancy however. I felt great and he constantly gave me reassuring kicks that everything was okay in there. He even flipped over like he was supposed to. Yet he was also stubborn and didn't want to come out. He was a week late and my body refused to even be induced. When they finally got me into labor his cord snapped. His c-section was an exciting one but he made it out okay. He was the opposite of his sister. He was an ugly baby as most newborns are. He looked like a little summo wrestler or bulldog. I can say that now because once he was no longer a newborn he became the most beautiful little boy in the world. I also had problems getting him to latch correctly and breastfeeding was an extremely difficult experience at the beginning. Yet he was an easy baby. He rarely cried, slept often and was just an absolute joy right from the start.

Photo © melissamio - all rights reserved

Will you love your second child as much as your first?

At the beginning I was upset because I didn't love him as much as my daughter. I felt like a terrible mother and this seemed to be an issue no one talked about. To my relief the love quickly caught up. I realized I had loved him as much as I had loved her when she was born, however I fall more and more in love with my children as time goes on. I can now say that I love them both with the same quantity of love and level of passion, albeit very differently. I love them for different reasons and in different ways, neither more than the other.

Photo © melissamio - all rights reserved

He's now almost two and is my beloved little boy. Some of my favorite things about him include:

  • He must have been dipped head to toe in something very sweet. He is so affectionate, loving and sweet that he melts me to a million pieces.
  • He's independent just like I was as a child. We both refused to be fed and insisted on doing it ourselves at an early age. It's fun seeing yourself in your child.
  • He has an infectious laugh.
  • He's clearly extremely intelligent.
  • He's a great eater. He'll eat anything and a lot of it. It tickles me to see other toddlers eating Mac and cheese while he'll have a piece of salmon and a side salad and ask for seconds.
  • He's very friendly and outgoing.
  • He has great manners and does a great job telling me please and thank you.
  • He loves music, both listening, dancing and playing it. He's great on a harmonica.
  • He's a big boy and very mature. People always guess he's much older. Yet sometimes he acts his age and is still just my baby.
  • He's mischievous, serious, smart, loving and totally attached to Mommy.

Love for a child has no parameters

Photo © melissamio - all rights reserved

The funny thing is it really doesn't matter who my child is. I will love them like a mad woman regardless. If they are a genius or a little slow, athletic or bookish, straight or gay, fat or slender as a willow. There's nothing they could do that would make me love them any less. There's nothing I wouldn't forgive.

There was a time when I was having unexplained health problems and the doctors thought it was something serious. It eventually ended up miraculously clearing up and I'm healthy as can be. However that period in my life was terrifying mainly because I had my children. I've never wanted to die but the thought as a Mother is so much worse. No one could ever love not only the good in my children but also their faults the way I do. I can't stand the thought of my kids living life without my love. This is a letter I wrote to them during this time:

Letter to my children when I feared I was dying

To my children,

If I am dying I promise you I will not go easily-not without a fight. I will endure pain and discomfort happily in the hope that through it I will gain more days with you. The thought of leaving you sickens me, makes me want to go crazy. That way I may never truly conceive of the knowledge that we will be separated. If it is to be then I pray for a slow death. Each day more precious than gold, bringing us closer to a chance that you might have some small memory of me. But just in case, because both of you are so young there are things I wish to write to you now.

First and foremost you are loved, will always be loved, and deserve every ounce you are given and more. There are things I once thought I couldn't do. However after having the two of you I know there is nothing I would not or could not do for you. My heart and my soul, that's who you are to me. If there's any possibility of watching you and intervening on your behalf believe me I will do it. I'll watch through the stars, my twinkling eye. I'll wake you in the morning with a chipper birds song. I don't know if there is a God or life after but I hope that there is. My bloodline is Catholic but I don't much care for organized religion these days. I leave it to you to make your own opinions about that. I will respect your opinions and who you become. Your life choices are yours to make and I will not judge you negatively no matter what they are. You will make mistakes. Since it's inevitable it's not something you can beat yourself up over since it was bound to happen. Move on. I will never be disappointed in you and there's nothing I can't forgive when it comes to you. However the worst thing you could ever do to me is hurt each other. I beg you in my honor to love one another and look out for each other the way I would have done had I been here.

Life is short, we never know how short until the time comes. I don't know the meaning of life but in my 31 years I've come to feel strongly that the best endeavor you can put your time too is the pursuit of happiness. If there is nothing after then what would have really mattered in the end? It seems to me it the most important thing would be how much you got out of the time you were given. Everyone should be in charge of their own happiness. If there is a life after where you're judged, then I don't see how your previous happiness should negatively affect your future as long as it was obtained in a reasonably ethical fashion.

My best piece of advice I can give you is something I've never mastered. I hope with all my heart you will do better than I have. Simply put don't live in fear of the future. You can ruin your life fearing something that never comes to pass. Then it may as well have happened since mentally and emotionally you will have already suffered the ramifications. Though it would have been entirely self inflicted. Taste the pain life serves you once it is on your plate and not a moment before. Eat it quickly and let it nourish you and make you grow strong. My Mom used to tell me that words that comforted her most were, "this too shall pass." When it does you will be stronger for it. I've also learned that things that seem horrible at the time usually end up being blessings in disguise. I can truly say of all the pain I've endured the only thing that in the end didn't turn out to be a good or at least neutral thing in the course of my life was my own Mom dying. I know that pain and I it's the only pain I hope you someday go through. Simply because you should live longer than me. I just wish I could make it easier for you when it does happen. I pray that right now I am falling victim to what I just warned you about and fearing something that is not coming to pass. Not now... But if my fear is justified then please know how much comfort it brings me to have knowledge that the best of me will continue to live after my death. I you with every fiber of my being.

Love,

Mommy

Lessons I would like to teach my children

  • Every year life goes a little faster until it's flying by. You'll look back at times in your life that should have been happy but weren't because of your frame of mind. You might be afraid of something that never comes to pass and it ruins what should be a wonderful time. Savor every moment and don't let your mind destroy your precious time. Plan for but don't fear the future. If the worse comes to pass deal with it when it actually happens but most likely it never will.
  • Loving is not just words but more so actions. The greatest way to show those that are most important to you what you feel is to simply treat them well. Occasionally surprise them in a nice way by doing something special, the same way you'd want to be treated. However don't forget to also say the words. Tell your family you love them everyday.
  • Don't go to bed angry. The night harbors resentments and brews like a virus that destroys relationships. Work it out no matter how tired you are. You never know what day will be the last day you see someone.
  • Listen to your intuition. Experts, friends, family might think you're crazy but it will rarely lead you astray.
  • Protect your credit like it's the gold that it is. Not only is it a matter of pride and respect that you honor your obligations and do so on time, but it will save you tons of money in interest and fees over time and can be the difference of you having the ability to do things like own your own business. Do not lend your credit to others. If they didn't respect their credit they won't respect yours.
  • Never stop learning. Learn because you want to grow your mind, be a better person and for the simple love of learning.
  • Don't be afraid to take help when you need it. But always be grateful and make sure that someday you do the same for others.
  • Treat your siblings with love and respect. They are the people who will be a part of your life the longest.
  • Say sorry both when you know you're wrong as well as when someone needs you to say it. Even if you don't believe you were in the wrong if they feel wronged then that's what's important. Say sorry sincerely and move on.
  • Always give a book a chance even if it has a slow start. However if it continues to be terrible don't waste your life on finishing it.
  • Respect your elders. Give up your seat, offer assistance when needed and always be kind and compassionate. Those people helped create the world that you now enjoy and were once your age with your passions and feelings. It's you with more wisdom, experience, suffering and pain. Listen to their stories.
  • Floss, wear sunscreen, don't smoke, and eat your vegetables. You might look and feel great now but it will shock you how fast things change and how much you wish you could go back and take better care of yourself.
  • Never forget how much I love you. Even death cannot kill my love, it will exist and follow you always.

Expecting Another

I'm now expecting my third child and I'm reminded how early love starts. We've had several scares with this pregnancy and the thought of losing the child that grows within me chills me to the bone. It's already my baby though I haven't met it yet. I believe that love for a child starts at conception and never ends.

Photo © melissamio - all rights reserved

What are some of the specific reasons you love your kids?

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    • Melissa Miotke profile image
      Author

      Melissa Miotke 3 years ago from Arizona

      Hi Bobbi,

      Thank you for your sweet words! I'm touched that the story affected you:) I look forward to getting to know you on HubPage.

      Melissa Miotke

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 3 years ago from Florida

      Hi,

      Such a beautiful story it touched me deeply. The planning and joy of having children and your journey, which I followed made me teary.

      And, then I read your letter and I have to say my mascara is somewhere around my knees. I know a wonderful mother and precious human being is reading this; and I am happy to welcome you to HubPages where other can enjoy your talent of writing.

      I have to wash my face because I look funny and my four-year old niece is coming to visit me for a short time.

      Have a great week with your family and enjoy HubPages. I am happy you are here.

      Bobbi Purvis

    • TransplantedSoul profile image

      TransplantedSoul 3 years ago

      Kids are magic aren't they. I like your line; "The funny thing is it really doesn't matter who my child is." - I could never really understand a parent disowning their child for any reason. I've hear of this for religious/sexual preference, and so many other "reasons" - it just does not make sense. I enjoyed this lens.

    • Gayle Dowell profile image

      Gayle Dowell 4 years ago from Kansas

      Great lens. I have two girls who I love very much and have been able to develop a wonderful relationship with as teenagers.

    • profile image

      AmericanNinjaWarrior 4 years ago

      This is the very best lens on motherhood. you are an angel - well done. it's amazing how deeply a parent is connected to a child. What a great mom. We just came back from a 4d ultrasound today - i saw my son... Sleeping...

    • Gypzeerose profile image

      Rose Jones 4 years ago

      Lovely lens, pinned to my board: Being a Mom. "When I would go to a funeral of someone important in our family I would take enough prayer cards so that each of my future children would have one of this family member they'd never get a chance to meet" - what a unique and unusual idea.

    • darkflowers profile image

      Anja Toetenel 4 years ago from The Hague, the Netherlands

      This Lens really touched my heart! I have no children, but I do have dogs, not 100% the same of course but a lot is... Your letter to your children made me cry, you are a great mother!

    • LynetteBell profile image

      LynetteBell 4 years ago from Christchurch, New Zealand

      Your children are beautiful

    • TolovajWordsmith profile image

      Tolovaj Publishing House 4 years ago from Ljubljana

      Kids are the best thing on Earth and yet in so many cases we are willing to make compromises in the name of so called higher goals. Nothing can get higher than a healthy parent - kid relation. Enjoy time with your kids. They grow very fast!

    • mihgasper profile image

      Miha Gasper 4 years ago from Ljubljana, Slovenia, EU

      Our kids are our future. What would we have without them?

    • delia-delia profile image

      Delia 4 years ago

      What a wonderful heartfelt lens, what a beautiful family! I never was around children and mom really never cared for children(ill behaved ones) was past on to me and my sister. I became pregnant immediately after hubby came back from Vietnam (been married 5 years) I was happy, but not like I should have been, until my first daughter was born...then our second daughter. I can't even imagine life without them, or not Loving them...funny how things turn out, mom died when they were young, I was also young....not having my mother here has been on my mind for over 40 yrs, I miss her terribly. Both our daughters don't have children for whatever reason...and I have accepted this, as this is what God wants...just a note: remember, Fear does not come from God! I had cancer and the one thing I prayed about, is not leaving my children at a young age, it was in Gods hands, but I never feared.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      It's hard being a mom or a nurturer or children. But the rewards are priceless. Just hang in there. It's a challenge to think about it now: But when they grow up they can be such a comfort at just the right time in your life when you need them most.

    • lisln profile image

      LorLinda 4 years ago from Denver Colorado

      Amen to this. Your children are so very blessed to have you as their mother. God knew what He was doing. They are so beautiful as you are, you are a very blessed woman, always cherish them, they grow up so fast. I wish all mothers had a strong committed attachment to their children as you do. So many women are careless and don't realize the long term affect it has on a child. They look so cute holding hands. Reminds me of my son and daughter when they were at that age. Letters written ahead of time can be the most healing process for your child to get through once mom moves on to that other better place. Very inspiring.

    • favored profile image

      Fay Favored 4 years ago from USA

      What lovely children; they look like you. Thanks for sharing your precious ones with us.

    • Redneck Lady Luck profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 4 years ago from Canada

      Your daughter is very beautiful. A parents love for their child is very special. It is the most important job that one can have in this life. I wish all children could be so loved.

    • LouisaDembul profile image

      LouisaDembul 4 years ago

      You have beautiful children and I am sure they feel your love. I am also blessed with two wonderful children and not a day passes without me expressing my love to them in one way or another.

    • Melissa Miotke profile image
      Author

      Melissa Miotke 4 years ago from Arizona

      @WriterJanis2: Thank you:)

    • profile image

      SteppingRasor 4 years ago

      Your children are your wealth. Love them.

    • Carpenter76 profile image

      Carpenter76 4 years ago

      What a lovely children you have! Also nice story :) pleasant to read and great tips, like the part that you were doing things for them even before they were born.

    • WriterJanis2 profile image

      WriterJanis2 4 years ago

      First of all, your kids are adorable. I hear what you say about living them equally, but in different ways. Each child has his or her own uniqueness. Beautiful lens.

    • Melissa Miotke profile image
      Author

      Melissa Miotke 4 years ago from Arizona

      @anonymous: Thank you, I've felt like I got to know you the first lens I ever read of yours and continue to do so as I read more. I always enjoy seeing what new lenses you come out with. Thank you for your kind words and blessings to your family as well!

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      What a beautiful lens. Every mother feels this way towards their kids.

    • profile image

      john9229 4 years ago

      I love my child also. He's make us happy everyday.

    • VspaBotanicals profile image

      VspaBotanicals 4 years ago

      This is the most lovely, adorable, and beautiful lens, I've come across yet, that deeply touches me. Exceptionally Beautiful lens!!!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      How lovely to meet your children. It can be difficult at times, but always worth it. You've shard some very personal information. I feel like we get to know you more with each lens. I can't imagine what it must be like to worry that you are going to die and leave your kids behind. The letter was a great idea and you've given some great advice. Tell your kids hi from me and my clan. And true blessings to you all.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Brilliant show of love and affection for your children. Cheers and best wishes to you all! :)

    • profile image

      freepaidsurveys 4 years ago

      Our children is our strength and our weakness too ...

    • profile image

      HockeyRef27 4 years ago

      Kids may never understand how much joy our "sacrifice" brings us. Great lens

    • sukkran trichy profile image

      sukkran trichy 4 years ago from Trichy/Tamil Nadu

      an interesting read. mother's love is entirely different from any other love. it is an extraordinary human form of selfless love. glad to know that you are blessed with two lovely kids. my best wishes.

    • lesliesinclair profile image

      lesliesinclair 4 years ago

      Mothering them gave me a chance to live out the empathy and compassion I feel inside.