ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

When To Listen not Lecture

Updated on March 7, 2012

Parenting is tough. There are ups, downs, tears, tantrums, joys, hugs, runny noses, up all the night with fevers, graduations, proms, art projects, Sunday night homework marathons, bullying, dirty rooms, parent teacher conferences, etc. Each year you think, "If I can get thru this, next year will be a piece of cake". It never is, but thank goodness we live day by day and every day is a fresh new start so to speak!

When kids are young, the problems are just as big as when they are teens. I was always at a loss, frantically going backwards just to keep up! Parenting does not come with a training manual. As they get older, and your kids get more independent and start thinking for themselves, then comes a whole new set of problems. It's exhausting. LOL.

My teen daughter has always been a champion for the underdog. When she was in elementary school, her best friend was allergic to peaches and peanut butter, therefore my daughter stopped eating both altogether at home and at school. We read so many food labels that year it was ridiculous! Another time she saw another girl take someone's lunch money and went right up to this bully and demanded the money be given back. My kid gets along with smaller children and adults much better than her peers and always has, so what school friends she has I try to encourage as much as I can. There is a friend in this group that has me concerned.

For the last year my daughter has been telling me things that I don't always want to hear. Her friend takes naked pictures of herself and texts them to ?,her friend has girlfriends and boyfriends, and that her friend thinks she might be a vampire.

I have listened to the above as an impartial judge and tried to go over our values as a family after each discussion. My daughter doesn't think some of these things are "bad" but that some aren't age appropriate. However, lately her friends actions are really concerning me. My daughter told me that her friend cuts herself. I listened and asked if she has told her parents, my daughter says that no one knows...the next day, not knowing what I should do, I called the school counselor. He advised he would talk to this friend of my daughter's. I put this conversation out of my head since I thought it would surely be handled properly by experts.

But her cutting got worse, and then she showed my daughter the marks on her body. (this REALLY freaked me out) I asked my daughter what she thought should happen. She said "mom I will take care of this, don't worry" The next day, my daughter came home and said that she had taken her friend to the school counselor and stood there until her friend confessed the cutting was still going on. I congratulated her on being a good friend but she was still worried that everyone would call her a tattletale. I asked her if that would bother her, she said no because she did the right thing. (somehow I have managed to raise a good egg)

Last night was the final straw for me, my daughter came home and we were joking around about us needing to lose weight so we can fit into cute clothes (we both need to work on our self esteem) and she said not so and so because she's anorexic. I said What? My daughter looked startled and said "nothing" I asked her what she had said again, she finally said it again and told me that she wasn't supposed to say anything.

I had to sit down. I have no idea what to do. I don't know this kids parent's, and obviously telling the school isn't working. My daughter is afraid she got her friend in trouble, I told her that her friend needs serious medical help before someone gets hurt. I need to do something soon, but I'm not sure what.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)