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Is it Necessary to Lose our Bedroom?
Home at last. Although it has been only a few day since you left for the hospital to have the baby it can seem like a year, at least.
Good to be back.
Night comes – where is the baby going to sleep?
Well, you didn’t decide upon this when arriving from the hospital but, probably had it planned out for quite a while.
A lot of parents make their first, in my opinion, wrong decision when they decide to bring the baby into their bedroom.
There are numerous reasons (some good some not) go behind this rationale of having the baby in the parent’s bedroom. Some examples:
- It’s much easier to get up at night (yep, we all live in large mansions )
- We will hear the baby cry (baby’s cry quietly)
- It’s easier to rock the baby (this can be understood)
- We can hear if the baby is breathing (especially in deep sleep)
- It’s good for the baby to be near me (or maybe me near the baby)
- I want to be near the baby (Ok said above)
I could go on, but I guess the idea is understood.
It is also understandable, especially with the first child, to be a bit hysterical. All of us parents went through this. But why could in my eyes we shouldn’t have the baby sleep in the parent’s bed room?
Okay, most of the female readers will say is that the male in the family wants his female back without the offspring.
This is probably true in most cases, but it is not the main reason for my opinion. The impact of the baby in the parent’s bed room can be very long and bothersome.
If the baby is together with Mom and Dad for a short amount of time – days or a couple of weeks, “you may get away with it”.
Get away with what?
Get away with having your child come every night into your bed for years, sometimes right up to grade 1 or a bit more.
This is a phenomenon that I have seen in quite a few homes, where the parents had the child in their bedroom for a few months, and when they tried to get the child to sleep alone in its own room, the skies began pouring with crying and tears. More often than not, the parents gave in and the child fell asleep in their bed.
As the years went by, the child would still fall asleep in the parent’s room, then be transferred to its own chambers, only to wake up a few hours into the night. Then, either a siren went off in the middle of the night or the little feet travelled back to Mom and Dad’s bed.
I personally do not have this experience of children coming into our bed at night. The reason being, our kids always slept in their (or sometimes their siblings) rooms. This was how it was from the beginning.
If you feel you need to sleep near your kid sleep in the kid’s room for the beginning few weeks and move back to your room. Sometimes this is also advantageous if you take turns with your spouse, giving each one a full nights sleep. We learnt about this sanity saving method during the first month with twin girls.
But, if you do decide to have the baby sleep in your bed room, make it short and only at night. During the day, let them sleep in their own room. As soon as possible move them into their own room for the night as well.
In the long run it is much better for all, the child who is secure by itself in it’s room ,and you the parents have your privacy, the little bit of it which you as a couple should cherish.
Having the child sleep in its own room, a room which they know from the beginning gives them a feeling of security and warmth. It is their room, soft and warm, as you planned it
There are also gadgets that can monitor crying and breathing. You do not have to be next to them to know if they are okay.
The decision of what to do is yours and yours alone. Whatever choices any of us make it is our own after we weigh up what is best for us. Have a good night’s sleep, soon.