- Family and Parenting»
- Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice
Managing Mommy Time
Unless you are a stay at home mom, don’t take it for granted she has lots of valuable time to waste, on the contrary. Mothers in general are expected to be available at all times for every family member and for the school’s PTA. While the stay at home mom is expected to have the cleanest home and the most spotless children, while being the taxi cab driver for her family’s chores and extracurricular activities.
The mom is likely to be the one who performs all the family duties and is expected to be always accessible. She will probably volunteer and extend her services whenever and wherever possible. Often she is the caretaker for her parents and in-laws and she attends to their needs as well.
Many people have this notion especially for stay at home moms, is that they spend their days watching soap operas, eating bon-bons while talking on the telephone. The truth is, stay at home moms do just as much as the working mother, but without a paycheck. Her responsibilities are not fewer, but in some cases it may be more. Either way, all mothers work hard and they still don’t have enough personal time for themselves.
Managing her home and other people, teaches the mother quickly the fundamentals of Time Management. She learns how to squeeze those obligations and errands in at a drop of a dime while accepting that her time is not her own. She soon discovers if she doesn’t make time for herself, she is burnt out. This is an issue for most mothers in general and this concern often gets neglected and overlook. This is how women develop stress related disorders.
All mothers know in order to make family life work; she must maintain her good health and at times she doesn't. She must manage her time for more effectiveness. We have to recognize that our personal well-being is just as important as everyone else’s in the family. Establishing our personal time should not be compromised or infringed upon by anyone, and this time should be the most important and valuable to us.
You must recognize when it is necessary for you to have time off. When you identify this hour, establish it daily and do not make plans, see guess, and make telephone calls, unless that is what you want to do. This doesn’t mean you do laundry either, but you should use this time to read, or exercise and develop some interest that keeps you feeling alive.
Now how do we spend the rest of our day? If you have a large family, then I suggest you put yourself on a real schedule to do house work and include time for those other activities that arises unexpectedly. It would be ideal to have all the kids help if they are able, but this is unrealistic. They don’t always help, and the job they do is inadequate. This leaves us mothers having to correct their chores, wasting more of our valuable time doing the same crap twice.
I always found meal time to be my issue. Unpredictable cooking time, difference of opinions for dinner always seem to stressed me out. So I learned to cook everything on Sunday, freeze it all, heated it up, and everybody shut-ed up.
But in reality, you’ll need approximately four-six hours during the day dedicated to family and children needs, a few hours of spousal time, and your chores should not go over three hours. The rest of your day can be used for your own personal time, if you do not work outside the home.
Lastly, how do we handle the children’s activities? Find a mother of one of your child’s friends and you two work out a schedule where you can either pick them up, or you drop them off. Cutting down on taxi time makes it easy for you both and you’ll be surprised how she will appreciate you freeing her time up as well.