- Family and Parenting»
- Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice
Many people tell me that my kids are good kids. Therefore, after hearing about Tiger Mom, I thought I would share my secrets. Just like Tiger Mom, I also have two children. I would say I am the opposite from Tiger mom. My children are 11 months apart; while my daughter was an infant, I was pregnant with my son. Many people would look at me and say they were sorry. I never understood this. They weren’t the one who got me pregnant, so why were they apologizing.
When you are pregnant, you’ll get a lot of advice whether you want it or not. In my opinion, one of the funnier ones I received from another mom was, “the best way to treat your children and keep them under control is to treat them like pets.” I was sure I was having a human baby not a litter of puppies. Another one was “Never treat your kids like adults.” I only partly agree and when the kids reach a certain age, you have to treat them like adults. I have always treated mine like people, yep, that’s what I said, like people.
Let us start from the beginning, most women like to hold babies. My daughter was no different, except that she was a little over a year old. I could have just said no or maybe when he’s older but I felt the sooner she got to know her baby brother the better. It was time for them to bond. I didn’t want her to get the impression he was untouchable, a part of my life she wasn’t. Therefore, I found her vibrating chair. I thought about the couch but if either one leans to one side both would fall over. The vibrating chair leans back pretty far and has fabric, which once she gets in surrounds her, holding her in one position. With the chair off, Grace climbed into the chair I then put David in her arms. I stayed kneeled down in front of them waiting for either one to move then I would intercept removing the baby. If I was a single parent I would not have been able to have my husband take a picture, he said I looked like I was waiting for a fly ball. Grace held David tight; when he fell asleep, I took him from her.
She complained she wanted to carry him to his bed. I told her she could help carry him, but he was too heavy for her to carry him on her own. She nodded. Remember she had him on her lap for at least two minutes she just learned he was heavy. Hence, there was no argument from her. I carried both kids to the nursery then put Grace on the floor and David in his bed. I could have just said no then the results would have been different. For every action there is a reaction, for every decision there is a consequence. The consequence to my letting her hold him, WITH SUPERVISION, was a great bonding moment. Since then they become real close. When it was David’s naptime, Grace would want to nap with him so we moved her crib next to his so she could nap with him.
I have recently heard about a woman who left her 13-month old son in the bathtub alone. She left to play on Facebook by the time she checked on him he was slumped over. He had drowned. She claims he told her he wanted privacy, are you kidding? A 13 month old would not know how to say privacy, let alone know what it means. However, just for argument sake let’s say he did say he wanted some privacy and wanted to be alone in the bath tub. First, I would reply, “you are alone in the bathtub, if I left the room who would play with you?” I don’t know about her kids or yours but mine always had toys in the tub. They love to splash and play. Ever heard a kid say no I don’t want to play, didn’t think so. As an adult, you have experience and reason on your side. If that doesn’t work, say no.
This next story makes no sense to me, a mom leaves her twin girls in the bathtub after turning on the bathtub faucet while drain the tub, then she leaves the room. What??
Why would you turn on the faucet if you want the tub to drain? Never ever, leave your kid unsupervised around water. This should be common sense. As I said, “for every decision there is a consequence”.
There’s a game I use to play with my kids when they started to learn to crawl, I would crawl too or even lay on my stomach and see the world from their viewpoint. While I was down there I would look for anything I could touch or grab on to without getting off the floor. Anything and everything I could touch I moved to a higher shelf. When the children begin to stand, I would play with them on my knees looking for dangers. This is just common sense.
Everyone knows babies eat, drink, cry, and poop. Therefore, if your baby is crying and you don’t know why, first check the diaper. If dirty or wet, change it. If it’s clean have you feed the baby recently? Maybe the baby is just overly tired try a pacifier. If the baby is still crying and you can’t take it call your mom. Yep, I said it, call your mom. Call someone for help.
If you cannot call mom, and you are feeling desperate check to see if there is a program in your area that you can call for help.