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Moms of Angels

Updated on May 20, 2013

If you've ever held an angel..

Mother's Day, and the two year anniversary of the loss of my son, is quickly approaching. It is normally a day of happiness and celebrating motherhood, but there are those of us who go unsung and unnoticed. Maybe your friends do not know of your loss, maybe they have simply moved on, but you remember. The flowers and corsages come out. Husbands send flowers to their wives, but all you may feel is loss and loneliness. You are not alone. Remember your angel is watching over you, and that countess others are walking in the same shoes you have. This page is dedicated to you and your angel on this Mother's Day.

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Lest we forget...

Take the time on this day to remember your little one. Grief is natural on this day, so do acknowledge that. Here are some ideas to help you in honoring them:

*write a letter

*plant flowers in their honor

*donate to a local hospital or charity

*tell someone that you need support

*let loose a balloon into the sky

*hold on to something of theirs (blankets or teddy bears)

* journal


Or you can do what I did and create a Memorial Book.

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes.

And prayed to God today.

I asked what makes a mother and

I know I heard him say,

A mother has a baby.

This we know is true.

But God, can you be a mother

when your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can, He replied

with confidence in His voice.

I give many women babies.

When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime

and others for a day.

And some I send to feel your womb

but there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this. God,

I want my baby here.

He took a breath and cleared His throat

and then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you

what your child is doing today.

If you could see your child smile

with other children and say,

"We go to earth to learn our lessons

of life and love and fear.

My Mommy loved me, Oh so much,

I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom

who had so much love for me,

I learned my lesson very quickly.

My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy, Oh so much,

but I visit her each day.

When she goes to sleep,

on her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek

and whisper in her ear,

'Mommy don't be sad today,

I'm your baby and I'm here.'"

So you see, my dear sweet one,

your children are okay.

Your babies are here in MY home

and this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with ME

until your lesson is through.

And on the day that you come home,

they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother-

It's the feeling in your heart.

It's the love you had so much of,

right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother,

until their time is done.

They'll be up here with ME one day,

and know you're the best one

~Author Unknown

Our Story

Little did I know, but in January of 2010 a new life had begun. As with my other two pregnancies, I had no symptoms. Some women talk of morning sickness, but with all 3 of my pregnancies I never suspected anything until well into the second month. By March, I had what I thought was a normal period. I had suspected I was pregnant, but then figured that with a period I was not pregnant as I had suspected.

In April, I then had the signs. I knew it for sure and confirmed my pregnancy with a home pregnancy test. I immediately made an appointment with my doctor. She could not get me in until May, so I had to eagerly wait.

On May 11, I stayed at work until 9 pm. There was an awards ceremony which I had to coordinate. I came home around 9:30. As soon as I walked downstairs to greet my husband, he noticed blood. My first reaction was maybe I wasn't pregnant. I went to Wal-Mart and bought a home pregnancy test. I took it in the public stall in the store and called my husband when it came up positive. He made arrangements for the kids and met me at the hospital. The doctor ran tests and listened to the healthy heartbeat. He tried to prepare me by saying tissue would pass. I cringe now thinking of those words. Tissue??

“Nothing prepared me for what happened.”
I was told nothing could be done and an ultrasound was scheduled for the morning. We went home and waited for the ultrasound appointment. I did not sleep all night due to cramping. There was no blood, but I continued to cramp. My husband left for work while I rested until the appointment. I was on bedrest, and I laid there until 9:30 am. I needed to use the bathroom, and out he came. All 1 pounds of him. Fully formed "tissue"..yeah right. He was a fully formed 19 week old baby.

What happened next was a whirlwind of rushing to the ER, going by ambulance to another facility for surgery to remove the placenta, losing 50% of my blood volume, passing out, and slowly recovering in my hospital bed. In the middle of all this, my husband had the clearmindedness to ask someone to take pictures. You see we never had baby blankets, no baby book, no booties, nothing to remember him by. Pictures, though, are the connection we now have to him. We were scheduled for our first ultrasound an hour after he was born, so we never had one for our memorial book. Months later, I started on a scrapbook for him. I feel that healing has begun by doing this. I also plan on using this book as a testimony to his life.

I will meet you at 1 my Christopher.

I know someone who lost a child. What do I do on Mother's Day?

If she has no other children, it is ok to tell her that you recognize that she is a mother. She will be very appreciative that someone remembers the loss and that she is a mother.

It's ok to tell her Happy Mother's Day, but be prepared to see a few tears or a half hearted thank you. Know your comfort level with her. Give her a hug if she wants one.

You could give a gift on behalf of the child to a local charity and give her a card telling her that you did so.

You could invite her to go out and have fun or for a day of relaxation, anything to distract from the day if that is needed.

In any case, you should acknowledge the loss and recognize her as a mother.

Who do you know that needs recognition on Mother's Day?

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    • BestRatedStuff profile image

      BestRatedStuff 5 years ago

      Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing, and using this sad situation to help others.

    • sockii profile image

      Nicole Pellegrini 5 years ago from New Jersey

      Thank you for sharing your difficult story and my deepest sympathies.

    • ngio64 profile image

      ngio64 6 years ago

      Oh, so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for a very helpful lens for moms in the same position. Blessed by a squid angel

    • Scarlettohairy profile image

      Peggy Hazelwood 6 years ago from Desert Southwest, U.S.A.

      I'm sorry for your loss.

    • indigoj profile image

      Indigo Janson 6 years ago from UK

      So sorry that you had to suffer this loss. I hope you have great success with Christopher's Closet. And yes, all kinds of women need recognition on Mother's Day, not just the obvious 'moms' with their own biological kids.

    • HealthfulMD profile image

      Kirsti A. Dyer 6 years ago from Northern California

      One of the best resources that I've found over the years is the Bereavement Services at Gundersen Lutheran. It helps to train the hospital staff to be more supportive, so there is some hope. You might want to connect with Calvin's Hats (I did a lens for them). They are also making hats for babies born to early to survive.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      So sorry to hear about your son! Thanks for sharing your story on Squidoo.

      CSS is tempting but we also have some great photo and colored modules (try Blackbox) that will help streamline your content and make it all "match."

    • bubblylittlepri profile image

      bubblylittlepri 6 years ago

      Hi Amkatee, I feel touched when I read your lens. Sorry about the loss, and we are always here to support u! Hopefully you will walk out from the sadness soon~ =)

    • Sunflower Susan profile image

      Sunflower Susan 6 years ago

      I'm so sorry. How painful that must have been and continue to be. Children are precious and beautiful. I know several women who have experienced repeated losses of children and never been made aware that, in many cases, it is simply a lack of progesterone. I am amazed at the number of doctors who have been ignorant of it. I don't know if this has been looking into in your case, but simply keeping an eye on those levels and applying cream or taking a pill completely eliminates the problem. My prayer is for your healing, and that this beautiful page will help others to heal as well. God bless.

    • profile image

      Internetcrateorg 6 years ago

      So sorry for your loss! I went through something similiar, but was fortunate enough that my twins survived..Glad the photos were taken, that is important! I wish you and your family nothng but the best in the future! God bless you all!

    • profile image

      Reflections-on-Decorating 6 years ago

      I, too, am sorry for your loss. It brought back sad memories of the little one we lost in much the same way nearly 30 years ago. Time helps to heal -- as did raising our other children. But you never fully lose the questions of what that baby would have grown to be in your life. May you find comfort as you face this sad anniversary.

    • howtocurecancer profile image

      howtocurecancer 6 years ago

      I am very very sorry for your loss.

    • SandyORiley profile image

      SandyORiley 6 years ago

      I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm happy to hear that you do have a photo of your baby, that must bring you some comfort, something to remember him with. My thoughts are with you this coming Mother's Day.