My Father My Crown
My Father My Crown,
Sir, it is almost fourteen years now when I felt what having both parents together meant to me, I have almost forgotten what it means to sit down and forget about the fact that I have someone there for me even though I sure do. Sir, it's been almost fourteen (14) years of all emotions sir. I never fully imagined as a child or a teenager that life would treat me this way. I always thought that by now I should have gotten some things done but ironically sir, I haven't. Sir, I don't want you to look at me as a failure or feel pity and sorry for me, it has taken time, I have been at the deepest part of life, most of which I would not wish to share with you or with anyone else.
Sir, I have not called anyone "Daddy" in close to twelve (12) years now because I don't think I should. Different people have come across my path and many have tried to erase your memory but they got disappointed because I became more antisocial. Sir, I have wonds that are yet to heal, I don't feel comfortable calling you "Sir" but I don't know what else to call you "Sir". I call you "Chief" behind your back because that's your title and I don't want to force myself into you. I left you not because I wanted to but you made me to and to crown it all, you asked me to leave. Sir, I forgave you long time ago, I tried reaching out to you over the years but I couldn't because you cut me off or so I thought. I spent nights crying, days daydreaming and hoping but seems like they were no good and when I finally settled it in my mind that you won't be there again, I passed 25.
Sir, I finally found a path to follow in Career and Life, I found faith in The Almighty God and in Jesus, that was how I was able to forgive you, I do not have a child yet sir, Sir there are many things that I would love to tell you about what has happened to me but I hope you don't see me as a weakling. The knowledge of you wanting to see me now causes mix emotions to me, should I tell everyone or should I remain quiet about it? Sir, I have fought depression severally and few weeks ago, just some days behind, I looked depression eyeballs to eyeballs and took back my soul.
Sir, I know in a few days time, you will see me again and I will see you again. I am not expecting to see the agile commanding man I knew 10 - 12 years ago and you won't see a teenager anymore. Sir, please don't get angry if my hair is full and my beards are not cut but I hope that when I come back, all doubts in both my mind and yours would be dissolved and you won't have restrictions to me and neither would I. I am nervous but I have to be a man that I am.
Sir, let me drop my pen here.
See you in a few days sir.
© 2017 Gydon Innocent