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My Mum

Updated on September 9, 2014

My lovely Mum had a harder life than some but not as hard as others.

Born in 1912, my Mum grew up in a working class home when the first world war was raging. Her father often changed jobs and sometimes worked with horses and sometimes worked on laying drains. Apparently he was very good at finding out which way water would flow, an essential knack when laying drains. Frances Ellen was the first child of George and Nell.


All photos in this hub are mine.

Early days

My Mum soon had a younger sister and later two brothers. One tale she tells of her father is that if the children were eating a meal and leaving the best bit on the side of the plate to enjoy last their father would grab it and say,"I can see you don't want that." and take it from them. He certainly had a mean streak. When Mum was quite a little girl he used to bring home sweets but one day when she cried about something he said he would never bring sweets again and he kept to his word.

Well I never, I've forgotten to tell you I nearly never made it into this world. When Mum was just a few weeks old her father came in when her mother was bathing her. He was shocked at how skinny she was and sent Granny off to the doctor. Apparently Granny's milk had dried up. Mum was brought up then on barley water, not the juice we have today but water left after boiling barley in it. It doesn't sound very nourishing but it did the trick.

When Mum was about nine she had pleurisy. She had been sent to the farm to fetch the milk in a metal jug but while there came over dizzy and passed out.

My mother was a very intelligent woman and if given the chance could have coped with university. As it was her teacher's realized she had ability and at 13 they suggested she go to boarding school to learn the necessary skills for being "in service." So off she went to Radbrooke in Shropshire.

The Inspector

My Mum used to love to tell us about the time the Inspector of Schools came to Primary school, before she went to Radbrooke. Her sister Bessie was very dramatic and good at reciting. The teacher set her to recite a Housman poem from The Shropshire Lad and Bessie had somehow picked up that the teacher had no fondness for the Inspector.

He arrived and she recited as follows,with great venom,"How sick I am to see you, will you never let me be, You may be good for someone, but you're no good to me, So go where you are wanted, For you're not wanted here..." At this point the Inspector said, "That's enough, that's enough." so missing the final line "and that was all the greeting when I parted from my dear." He had played completely into the hands of the teacher.

Two Scenes from Oxford, from the Carfax Tower, and One of the Famous Bridge

Oxford and love

Mum enjoyed her time at Radbrooke and even had a couple of terms' piano lessons. She said matron had to stay in the room as the teacher was inclined to put his hand on her knee. From those few lessons she managed to get herself up to scratch to play pedal harmoniums in chapel later on.

On leaving school she got a job as a cook in Oxford, at All Soul's college. Once Lord Grey of Fallowden sent a half crown tip down to the kitchen staff, quite a large tip for the time, about 1930. Mum remembered going up the tower of Magdalen college on Mayday to see the sun rise. At All Soul's Mum's room was up in the attic. There was a window that opened out onto a place where she could sit and dry her hair in the sun in Summer.

In Oxford Mum attended the Plymouth Brethren and met a man called Bob. He was an under graduate. They fell in love. Bob had a bad heart condition and had to leave university. He went back to his parents' home in Devon and took Mum with him. They became engaged but sadly Bob's heart grew worse and finally gave out. After his death Mum slept round the clock, worn out with grief.

While working in Devon Mum once had to cook a rabbit and present it nicely at table. After cooking the rabbit was placed on a dish complete with head and Mum decided to give it two sage leaves for ears. Every time Mum told this story she would laugh to remember how funny the rabbit looked. She also remembered the lady of the house having dangly bits at the wrist on the sleeve of her dress, and these trailed through the gravy as she helped herself to vegetables. Another lady was wearing a low cut dress when one breast popped out. she resourcefully popped it back in again and continued as if nothing had happened.

Mum had a huge respect for the gentry which she tried to pass on to her children. She said that "real gentry" were always fair and considerate and it was only the "nouveau rich" who treated you badly.

Scenes of Oxford

My father comes on the scene

So there she was in Devon. Bob had played his sad part in my destiny by bringing her here. In the Plymouth Brethren she met my father, Charles and took him off to Shropshire and married him. Dad was a nervous, shy creature while my Mum was full of resourcefulness and common sense. Dad got a job with a local farmer and would regale Mum with stories of what Dick Harrison said. He would often say,"Who's afraid of old Dick Harrison?" Of course he was. Their first child, a little girl was born in Shropshire. Soon they moved back to Devon and Dad worked on his father's farm.

One day at the farm they lent Mum a bicycle so that she could cycle to Kingsbridge. She got along fine and was going down the hill into Kingsbridge when she applied the brakes only to find that they did not work. Somehow she managed to hang on and arrived at the bottom thoroughly shaken up. She was not keen to ride ever again.

Dad would have bouts of depression followed by silly spells. The Terms "manic depression" and "bi-polar illness" were not known then, or at least not in darkest Devon. It is a good thing we don't know all we are going to have to cope with in life, when we start out.

The war years

Then came the Second World War. As a farm worker my father was not called up, as producing food was vital to the war effort. During this time my brother was born.The family lived in Blackawton near the south coast. It was at this time that my father found employment at the other end of Devon away from the sea. His brothers had found employment in this area. After the move they heard that all the villagers of Blackawton were to be evacuated because the housing was needed for American troops. Much later we discovered they were working on secret operations to plan landings in France. There was a terrible tragedy then off Slapton Sands when many Americans died. The truth of it coming to light recently. There have been special ceremonies to commemorate those American lives lost, in helping to win the war against Hitler.

A more stable life

Because of his mental health Dad tended to fall out with his farmer employers and as their cottages were tied to the job, every time this happened they had to move house. During this time I was born. At this time my Mum decided that when I was a little bit older she would go to see her mother. Unfortunately her mother, who had been unwell for several years with breathing problems and heart trouble, died, at the age of 53, before this plan could be carried out. I never met Mum,'s parents and only briefly met Dad's on an outing to the seaside.

Mum was tired of making so many moves and then she heard of a cottage next to a chapel which they could have for a low rent because they would be looking after the chapel, cleaning it through each week, and also cutting the grass on the graveyard. This meant Dad could find employment in a circle around this place and if he fell out with a farmer he could move on to the next without the little family being disrupted. My older sister had already suffered from having to change schools twice.

The chapel was not Plymouth Brethren but had connections with them. It was Baptist. They soon settled in and eventually Mum became the organist. I can remember not liking it that Mum was up the front and couldn't sit with us. She also became a Sunday School teacher.

The chapel cottage was a real answer to prayer. Stability had arrived in all our lives. At night in bed we children hated to hear Mum and Dad arguing, but there was never any violence involved. Dad would have times of depression when he would take to his bed. Then he would be silly and tease us in an irritating way. His interest in religion was always high. In certain moods he would ask impossible questions, such as why did God create Satan. He would get himself really worked up about it. At other times he would have lots of faith. he loved to see the stars at night and talk about God making each one. Mum was equally strong in her beliefs but more stable and even tempered. They took us to church twice on Sundays plus afternoon Sunday school. Mum was very friendly with the Superintendent's wife. In the summer holidays Mum would often take me with her to spend the day with this lady and her children. They were the sort of days one remembers from childhood when the sun always shone . I played in the fields with the lady's son who was a year younger than I.

My Mother in her Early Forties - In a Deck Chair at the Seaside

The arrival of mod cons

Mum always worked hard to keep us all kitted out. She had a sewing machine and made most of our clothes for us. She also knitted. Back then you could get the following colours in wool, grey, maroon,navy or black. It was very exciting when other colours began to come out. the first thing I made was in the shocking pink colour that sometimes looks orange. I used a very large needle and a small one producing a lacy effect. Mum also did sewing for some of the farmers' wives in the area. They were quite well off compared to us. They would come to our house for a fitting. They went in the vestry for this. This room was really a part of the chapel where the speaker would come to sort out his hymns and settle himself down before the service. The vestry led straight into our house and Mum had asked permission to use the room and we would furnish it. After that we always called it the sitting room.

When we first moved into the house in 1949 there was no electric and no proper sanitation. It was only a few years before the electric was put in but 1960 before we had a proper bathroom and toilet. It's amazing what you can do without when you have to. But now it was goodbye to the old tin bath.

A good life lived well

By now my sister had gone off to do her training as a nurse. My Mum had looked into that and sorted it out. My brother had gone into the R.A.F. I was five and a half years younger than my brother. Mum really appreciated my company as I grew up, especially when Dad was in a funny mood. Sometimes he was taken off to hospital for treatment and we enjoyed the peace at home without him. Sometimes she spoke of divorce but it never came to that. Somehow her faith carried her through.

On Thursdays she would walk the mile to the village to the Women's Bright hour at the chapel there. Afterwards she would go down the hill to the shop ( as seen in my lens The Culm Valley) get the shopping and then wait for me to come off the school bus and collect my bicycle from beside the pub. I would then put the shopping bag on my handle bars and we would walk home together with me pushing the bike.

Thursday evenings there was a prayer meeting. Dad was often an embarrassment to us as he prayed out loud and at length. But other people thought him very spiritual. Mum would also book up the preachers for Sunday services. With no phone she would book each time they came for the next time, or write to them. These lay preachers were needed because the minister came only twice a month. Some of the preachers came to tea.

Despite lack of money my parents kept me at school a long time. Mum had always been keen on education and must have been thrilled when I was accepted for a music degree course at Cardiff. Unfortunately I only managed two years. I was then showing signs of Dad's trouble although I was not properly diagnosed till much later.

Later on when I was married and had my first child Mum and Dad moved into a council bungalow in the village and my family moved into their old cottage. They were retired now.Dad would go to a day centre twice a week. This was a relief for Mum. She had a little money put by and decided to take driving lessons, now in her seventies. She kept it a secret from all of us, but the instructor said something to me one day that gave the game away. I thought it was very adventurous of her. It was just a whim as there was no possibility of affording a car.

In 1995 my father died and Mum had five years on her own. She went to a day centre herself and enjoyed handicrafts there. One day she brought home two cushions made at the centre, and gave them to myself and my sister. It was a parting gift, she died the next night.

She had lived a good, industrious life and died in her own bed. No doubt with her love of music she is now in heaven playing expertly on the harp

Mum and Dad laid to Rest - Their's is the middle Gravestone

Please comment on this lens

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    • profile image

      TanoCalvenoa 4 years ago

      What a great a highly detailed biographical lens. I've considered doing something like this for my great grandfather (1898 to 1998), or my grandfather (1918 to 2009).

    • profile image

      othellos 4 years ago

      Excellent lens with fluent writing and beautiful story. Have no doubt that your mum is very proud of you indeed! Thanks for sharing:=)

    • MelaniePaige13 profile image

      Melanie Paige 4 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Such a beautiful tribute to your mum. Thank you for sharing some of hers and your life here :)

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      The end is never near and the near is never the end! :)

    • Virginia Allain profile image

      Virginia Allain 6 years ago from Central Florida

      I loved reading about your Mum and your childhood. It is so important to preserve these memories for your children and grandchildren. Well done.

    • graysquidooer profile image

      graysquidooer 6 years ago

      Great personal lens, really like the way you put it all together, your mom was born the same year as my Dad 1912

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      A beautiful tribute to your Mom :) We are lucky to live in the time we do, in some ways that is, everything is made so much easier for us.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      What a lovely tribute to your Mum! She sounds like a wonderful person. My own mother was born just after the first World War, and in the U.S., but her life had a lot of similarities to your mother's.

    • EuroSquid LM profile image

      EuroSquid LM 6 years ago

      What a beautiful tribute lens. Blessed and featured on my lens "Thoughts Of A 2011 Squid Angel"

    • profile image

      Dorishappy 6 years ago

      Enjoy the lens. Every mom and dad are great. Your article reminds me of my parents. They are also very kind and care me and my brother more. ...

    • delia-delia profile image

      Delia 6 years ago

      What a lovely lens and tribute to your Mum...very interesting...lensrolled to my mothers tribute lens

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Oh and congratulations on your Purple star!! Nicely done.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      What a cute story about your sister reciting the poem when the inspector came, made me laugh, clever teacher she was!

    • AuthorNormaBudden profile image

      AuthorNormaBudden 6 years ago

      I truly enjoyed reading about your parents. Your lens strikes fond - though some bittersweet - chords within me. Congrats on your purple star and it was my pleasure to add it to your feature at https://hubpages.com/community/purple-star-awards-

    • RaintreeAnnie profile image

      RaintreeAnnie 6 years ago from UK

      This is very touching and a lovely tribute. Bless you for writing so wonderfully about your Mum. Congratulatons on a very well deserved purple star.

    • profile image

      moonlitta 6 years ago

      Congratulations on your star! Naturally we all know it's well deserved.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      This lens reminds me of my Mom who was a strong person and a very brilliant woman who struggled to become a successful figure after my grandfather expired when she was just a small kid. That meant , she had lost a devoted father and had to survive with bare minimum as the family struggled to make the ends meet.

      Beautiful lens - Thumbs up

    • nebby profile image

      nebby 6 years ago from USA

      Some are blessed with wonderful parents and some are blessed with caring and appreciative children. On this page I am seeing both.

      Touching lens & congratulations on your purple star.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Liz, you have me with tears sweetly washing down my face with your Mum's "parting gift". Yes it is not the grave but the sky. I was riveted from start to finish and didn't miss a single word and read some over again. Your Mum is playing expertly on the harp...sweet. You have such detailed accounts in little snippets, so somehow the family history was shared with you and you retold it with beauty and grace.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Liz, you have me with tears sweetly washing down my face with your Mum's "parting gift". Yes it is not the grave but the sky. I was riveted from start to finish and didn't miss a single word and read some over again. Your Mum is playing expertly on the harp...sweet. You have such detailed accounts in little snippets, so somehow the family history was shared with you and you retold it with beauty and grace.

    • profile image

      kt_glasses 6 years ago

      Affectionate lens to your mom,may she rest in peace.

    • TonyPayne profile image

      Tony Payne 7 years ago from Southampton, UK

      Lovely lens, and a great tribute to your Mum. It must have been interesting being one of the last who saw service in a big house. I have read about the incident at Slapton Sands, as the subject of the Normandy Invasion is something I have been interested in for years.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Absolutely wonderful lens, and great pictures too!!!!

    • AppalachianCoun profile image

      AppalachianCoun 8 years ago

      Beautiful lens. We had a wonderful Mom like you. We all are blessed. 5 stars*****

    • ctavias0ffering1 profile image

      ctavias0ffering1 8 years ago

      What a wonderful lens. I wish more people would share their memories as you have. Ultimately it's a historical record from the first person point of view which gives us a glimpse in a World we have never known. You write beautifully 5*