New Baby Drama
10 things that helped me deal with new mom stress
Having a new baby is full of excitement, hope and expectations. It might be a surprise, a relief or a long awaited dream. But a lot of new mothers may not realize the new added stress that it can create.
Aside from feedings every 3 hrs, making sure things are clean and "sanitized" or worrying about whether baby is breathing or not, new concerns may arise that we have not thought about previously. Quirks he may have that you never noticed, the unwanted advice people decide they NEED to give you and that "positive" criticism that makes you feel two inches tall. If you are a brand new mom who is realizing the "drama" that comes with the wonderful joys of a new baby here are 10 tips that are still helping me and might help you too!
Lower your standards
Learn that things will not be perfect. Your house may not be as tidy as you want, your bank account may be lower than you are used to and your morning routine will drastically change. Lower your standards and expect the changes, this will make it easier to deal with everyday life. Set your priorities and stick with them.
Have emergency back up
The saying " When it rains it pours" could not be anymore true! You'll be surprised at the things that come up. Light bill higher than usual, car breaks down and then you realize that the formula did not last as long as "expected". Then a new heartbreaking feeling overcomes you at the realization you may not have it. ( this is when family and good friend come in handy). Learn how to budget your finances and cut out the unnecessary.
Praise Your Partner
You may FEEL he's not doing as much as you are and he may not when you break it down ( which you should avoid doing), but know that he is trying and learning just as you are. Praise him for what he does and do not constantly bash him for what he doesn't. Takin out your frustrations on him will only add stress to your relationship and home. This is not easy... I'm still working on this one!
In one ear, Out the other
Mothers, mothers in law, grandmothers, you name it! The most important women in your life WILL have a lot of input. This is their opportunity to pass forward what they have experienced and learned. Though a lot of it you may not agree with remember that this is an experience for them too. Pick what is useful to you and the rest just let it go. Sometimes we just have to learn ourselves first hand, even if it means hearing " I told you so" later on.
Sleep, sleep, sleep!
Get it whenever you get a chance! You are going to need it. Bye goes the sleeping in so learn to nap when baby naps. Also know your body's limit. In the beginning we feel we have to do it all. We feel over protective but remember that the care we give our child depends on us keeping ourselves healthy. So do not be afraid of asking him or your mother to watch baby while you get a nap. I remember handing my child over to my mother after 72 hrs without sleep and CRASHING! I haven't let myself get to that point since because even though it was the best sleep ever, I was useless for a good ten hrs.
Get rid of the Guilt
Let's face it, it would be nice for all of us to be able to stay at home with baby for at least the first year. Reality is that not all of us can afford it. I know a lot of women that have to return to work even in the first month after given birth. Get RID of the guilt! We have to do what is necessary no matter what every one tells you. For some of us it actually helps us get grasp on things.
Take a Time Out
Even five minutes of downtime can make a difference. Read a page of that book you are reading, drink a cup of coffee , wash your hair or take a quick walk. Whatever helps you relax and unwind, try to take some time for yourself. We deserve it.
Do not Compete
We are all learning. Regardless of how old your child is, 6 months, 10 yrs, or 25, all mothers are constantly learning from new situations that our kids put us in. Always take " positive" criticism for the well meant thought it was given in. Though sometimes they might sound demeaning never once question your parenting skills. We are all different.
Baby Fat can Wait
We would all like to walk out of the hospital with those pre-bump jeans, right? After speaking with fellow mommies I have learned that many of us may not fit them even six months after giving birth. Do not stress! Give your body time to heal, the more stress you feel about your weight the harder it is to get it off. My baby is eight months old and just now im starting to feel like I'm getting my body back. Slowly but surely.
Let the Tears Drop
Believe it or not crying might actually improve our mood. It reduces stress and tension. Forget the " Don't be a cry baby!" comments and let a few of them tears drop. It helps some of us let our frustrations out and continue with the task at hand. Think of it as a fresh start.